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The Summit On Something (humor)
self | July 18, 2006 | demkicker

Posted on 07/18/2006 10:22:07 AM PDT by demkicker

Edited on 07/21/2006 6:40:27 PM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]

The Summit on Something





Mr. President, you’re gonna love this. Kofi Annan has called for a Summit Teleconference of some world leaders, including Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Bashar al-Assad and Ehud Olmert. And it starts in 15 minutes!





He’s already called several members of Congress and a select few political and media figures to participate in a dialog to resolve the Middle East crisis and they’re meeting at the Capitol.





Good grief, that interfering twerp will do anything for attention! Make sure Condi, Dick and Rummy are all patched through too.




Later……





Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, President Bush, Mr. Olmert in Israel.





I have managed, for the first time in history, to convince the honorable Bashar al-Assad and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to participate in this teleconference Summit to work out our differences.





THE HONORABLE?!





I have also invited some distinguished members of Congress and some well-known political and media figures to help work out this crisis.





Yessssssssssss! Great idea, Kofi, uh…. I mean Mr. Annan!





Hehehehe… This is gonna be rich.





Do you mind? You are NOT to be smoking that nasty cigar in our beloved Capitol!





I thought I smelled a right winged wacko! What in tarnation is HE doing here?





That’s what I’d like to know! Kofi, you said distinguished members of the media were invited.





With all due respect, Mr. Keller. I’m sure the Secretary General was trying to be fair and balanced with whom he invited to this Summit.





Oh great. You’re here too.





Will you shut up so we can get on with this? I should probably be in a bomb shelter at this very moment!





Yes, of course! I’d like to open up a free wheeling dialog between all of the warring parties so that we may have a compassionate understanding of one another.





I feel the mother of all migraines coming on.





Excuse me, Mr. Secretary, but I don’t like the wording you just used. Compassionate understanding? Israel was attacked by terrorists, for God’s sake!





Hold on there, Mr. Bolton. You can quit with your God talk. There is nothing wrong with having compassion and feelings for all parties involved here. I’ll not have you attack Hezbollah. And I can defend them if I want because I'm part Jewish, you know.





Part Jewish? Excuse me, but wouldn’t you and your uglier friend look better in burkas?





Nancy, are you going to let him talk to you like that?





???????





Hahahahahahaha….





Shush, shut up! I need all of those women’s support, you fool!





Can we get on with it? I’m tired of standing here.





Well, Mr. Putin, at least you have solid ground to STAND on, unlike the citizens of my country. The hands of my enemies are getting bloodier by the minute.





No blood on my hands. How about yours Assad?





Huh? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention….





Woah! Alright folks, so far this is nothing but a waste of everyone’s time. Only a fool would believe something can be solved in this so-called “Summit”.





I agree. Furthermore, Congress should convene immediately and vote to give our President the authority to support Israel militarily against Syria and Iran.





Convened and denied….





Yeah, here’s what we think of that idea!





Must you Americans keep dominating this Summit with your undignified mannerisms? Here in France, men and women are very conscious of our behavior and appearance.





Oui, Jacque, oui.





!!!





Just kidding, everyone! Thought I’d interject a little humor. Hehehehe….





Hahahahahaha….





This is the best time I’ve had in years….





If I may interrupt. I’d like to suggest we get back on track in this very serious business of saving lives and preventing this war from spreading.





Thank you, Tim. I interrupted my fast to be here on behalf of all democrats, communists and brainwashed Americans who are against the Iraq war.





"Thank you, God".





Thank you, Mrs. Sheehan. I can’t imagine how you are able to go without food. I couldn’t. I agree with you 100% that we should withdraw from Iraq immediately.





Wow, I just thought it was a headache. For some reason, I’m able to channel into all the leftist wacko clowns in Washington!





Sorry I’m late, everyone. Have I missed anything?





NO, YOU HAVEN’T!





Hey, does anyone else think it’s too warm in here?<





I cannot believe I’m watching my party self destruct and my Presidential chances crumbling before my very eyes!!!





Have I stumbled into the sequel of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest?





Harrumph…. Come on people, we’re better than this. Let’s put our heads together and figure this out!





If I may say, Senator, this forum isn’t working out very well.





Did you guys just here the negative tone of the Secretary of State? The Bush administration doesn’t want this Summit to work out! Condi just gave us our talking points for tomorrow’s news. Everyone get that?




<
Yes, we’ve got it, Bill. Brilliant…..





You’re the man, Bill Kellar, and I’ll tip my Stetson to that idea. If you need any freelance writing for the Times, you know I’ve got the courage.





Screw all of you transparent losers….





Hey, guys! Sorry I’m late. Been tied up with the eggs. If I’ve missed anything, just email me the talking points.





And people have the gall to make fun of me for using a tanning bed?





Excuse me, Secretary General, but Assad and I have a very important telephone call from an envoy we’ve sent to Israel. I really have to go now…




Private Phone Call…..


Geeze, I’ve been waiting forever! What are my instructions?





Vell, dahlings, it’s off to the blog for me. I vant to share this enlightening experience vith the vorld! If only the Bush administration would try listening for a change.





Well, on that note, I say we all adjourn. I want to celebrate these great soundbites for my show tomorrow and buy everyone the first round of drinks at the Hawk ‘n’ Dove!





I'll buy the second round and furnish premium cigars for anyone except Clinton.





Bill, we’ve GOT to do something to focus attention back on ME, er, us! It’s not fair that this war is drowning ME, er, us out. I’ve got an idea. Pack your bags and meet me at the airport. Don’t forget your swim trunks.





Okay, Keller, I need your help....





Why, of course, Mrs. Presi... uh, Mrs. Clinton. As always, anything. Anything at all.




Twenty-four Hours Later in Haifa, Israel…….





Keller contacted Hezbollah, so we don't have to worry about getting fired on, but where can we dance on this beach and not step on bomb fragments?




Meanwhile on the Iraq/Iran border…….





All clear, boss. Good luck!






TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: funny; g8summit; humor; satire
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To: ILS21R

Thanks and a bump...


221 posted on 07/23/2006 12:41:31 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: MinuteGal

Cyber smooches received and I am honored to receive your award. Thanks!


222 posted on 07/23/2006 12:42:32 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: demkicker; JulieRNR21

WHAT A HOOT!

Thanks for the thread demkicker & teh ping Julie!!!


223 posted on 07/23/2006 12:51:05 PM PDT by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)
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To: JulieRNR21; jan in Colorado; demkicker

ROTFLOL! Thanks for the pings, Julie and Jan. Thanks for the summit, demkicker. Outstanding work! ;*)


224 posted on 07/23/2006 12:55:10 PM PDT by Just A Nobody (NEVER AGAIN..Support our Troops! www.irey.com and www.vets4Irey.com - Now more than Ever!)
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To: DollyCali

You're welcome, DollyCali!


225 posted on 07/23/2006 12:56:16 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: Just A Nobody

So glad you enjoyed it!


226 posted on 07/23/2006 12:57:08 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: demkicker

BOOKMARKED!


227 posted on 07/23/2006 1:04:21 PM PDT by I got the rope
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To: demkicker
A good laugh BUMP!

Well-played dk.

228 posted on 07/23/2006 1:32:26 PM PDT by MotleyGirl70
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To: demkicker
BTTT!

Hilarious.

229 posted on 07/23/2006 1:43:29 PM PDT by andyandval
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To: MotleyGirl70

Thanks, glad to tickle your funnybone!


230 posted on 07/23/2006 1:44:45 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: andyandval

Thanks, andyandval!


231 posted on 07/23/2006 1:52:09 PM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: demkicker

BWAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAA!!!! It's a true story...right? :D

Very good stuff. Genius!


232 posted on 07/23/2006 3:03:48 PM PDT by luvie ("I want our troops to understand that not only does the country support them, but--we'll win! GWB)
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To: demkicker

Good work.


233 posted on 07/23/2006 7:55:32 PM PDT by Jet Jaguar
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To: demkicker
Hey, thanks for the email.

I saw this before. I would have bumped you but this landed me in the Hospital for three days. I broke five ribs and cracked two from laughin'.

Real gut buster, I will tell you.

I can't even look at it without grinning and tears welling up.
234 posted on 07/23/2006 8:31:00 PM PDT by do the dhue (I hope y'all will help bail me out of jail after I dot Chris Mathew's eyes.)
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To: demkicker

Very goiod.


235 posted on 07/23/2006 8:33:06 PM PDT by armymarinemom (My sons freed Iraqi and Afghan Honor Roll students.)
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To: demkicker

Now that is funny Demkicker. It's good to be able to laugh at something the way things have been lately.

Thanks.


236 posted on 07/23/2006 10:01:05 PM PDT by jazusamo (DIANA IREY for Congress, PA 12th District: Retire murtha.)
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To: demkicker

Bttt.


237 posted on 07/24/2006 3:28:11 AM PDT by kristinn
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To: LUV W; Jet Jaguar

Glad you enjoyed it, thanks!


238 posted on 07/24/2006 11:06:11 AM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: do the dhue

You're too funny! Glad you liked it, thanks.


239 posted on 07/24/2006 11:07:37 AM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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To: jazusamo; armymarinemom

Thanks! We all need to remember to laugh every now and then in these serious times. Take care...


240 posted on 07/24/2006 11:09:32 AM PDT by demkicker (democrats and terrorists are intimate bedfellows)
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