Posted on 05/29/2006 6:17:29 PM PDT by rhema
I n the romantic comedy "Failure to Launch," Matthew McConaughey plays a young man who is affable, intelligent, good-looking -- and completely unmotivated. He still lives at home and seems to have no ambitions beyond playing video games, hanging out with buddies and having sex. In desperation, his parents hire a professional motivation consultant, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, who pretends to fall in love with McConaughey's character to motivate him to grow up and get a life.
I was struck by how this theme matches what I see in my office with greater and greater frequency; a son goes off to college for a year or two, wastes thousands of dollars of his parents' money, then gets bored and comes back to live in his old room. Now he's working part time at Kinko's or part time at Starbucks.
It is a phenomenon that is getting a lot of media attention as part of the so-called "boy crisis" and one that cuts across all demographics -- rich, poor, black, white, urban and rural. According to the Census Bureau, one-third of young men ages 22 to 34 are still living at home with their parents -- a roughly 100 percent increase in the past 20 years. That is not true of young women. Why?
Before growing into unmotivated young adults, boys are more likely than girls to be diagnosed with ADHD, be in remedial classes and become dropouts. Boys are now significantly less likely than girls to go to college.
(Excerpt) Read more at startribune.com ...
LOL!
Dads don't have any right other than the right to be a wage-slave to pay the bills.
Don't do it your wife's way these days and she will use the power of the state to destroy you.
Glad you got your bluff in early.
I'm hoping that SamAdams76's sons don't marry any women who are 'smarter than them but love them anyway'. Those wouldn't be the 'good ones'.
Nothing like a wife who looks down her nose at ther husband.
Forgive me for being somewhat angry that SamAdams says daughters are pieces of trash that he doesn't want. I highly respect my husband and look up to him. We both have strengths and weaknesses.
I guess we have different opinions about what 'highly respect' means.
My definition doesn't include bragging about being 'smarter than him', yours apparently does.
It's amazing what you can justify w/ the proper definitions.
Summer camp is a great way to instill self-reliance and let a boy really be a normal boy. They are kept busy in physical activities from morning to night, with athletic college men supervising them, instead of fat, lazy, bitter, old teacher's-union lesbians.
Most summer camps still have the kids doing manly things like team sports, archery, riflery, fishing, horseback riding, etc. There are camps for computers, music, drama, etc., but that's not what I think most FReepers are seeking for their lads. Overnight camps are better than day camps for learning how to get along in a group of other boys without Mommy being there to kiss every boo-boo.
-ccm
All very good points. Our 15-year-old daughter will be going to a university science camp this summer, but the boys will be doing fairly primitive Scout camps, and my husband will be there for part of the time for both of them. With eight children, it's hard for him to spend as much individual time with each one as they would like - they fight over him!
I'm sorry to hear about your school's problem with boy-friendly literature. What a waste of time not to use material that captured your and other boys' imaginations.
I just watched "The Scarlet Pimpernel" again last night. Love the story.
That's not the word I was using.
I agree. Let boys be boys.
When my oldest boy was in Kindergarten, his teacher called me to report in hushed tones about an "incident." There had been a fire drill and while the kids were lined up on the sidewalk outside, my son had - gasp - climbed to the top of the STOP sign. I said "thanks, what's the problem?"
Kids need structure, then freedom within that structure to be kids. Little boys need to be boys. Nature knows what she's doing.
You wrote:
"Basically, they suppress gender specific tendencies which makes things worse."
DING! DING! DING!
I have sons who are working, thriving, living in their own places, as young adults. I KNOW that I did it right because they're great adults, with solid male identfication, partially because I didn't let any school teachers or counselors convince me to medicate them from the first grade on.
Boys have to be allowed to be boys. Their behaviors must not be treated as BAD. They're louder, they're more physical, they're more aggressive.
Maybe I missed that post.
Could you point me to it?
I never had any problem with boy-friendly literature - the library was full of it. Not just the books mentioned, but Colby books (on Our Armed Forces), Landmark History books, etc.
Teachers had a problem with me reading in class...
The you should "VAmoose."
bttt
Cheers David. Great job!
In the woods. In the woodsens!
It's a real sore spot for me, because I saw the sons of others bowled over with that stuff, all because dad is out of the picture, mom is working and is sucked in by the psychobabble they feed her at school.
There isn't anything that needs to be fixed about boys who don't want to behave as if they are girls.
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