You wrote:
"Basically, they suppress gender specific tendencies which makes things worse."
DING! DING! DING!
I have sons who are working, thriving, living in their own places, as young adults. I KNOW that I did it right because they're great adults, with solid male identfication, partially because I didn't let any school teachers or counselors convince me to medicate them from the first grade on.
Boys have to be allowed to be boys. Their behaviors must not be treated as BAD. They're louder, they're more physical, they're more aggressive.
Cheers David. Great job!