Posted on 05/17/2006 8:34:04 AM PDT by presidio9
“There’s got to be at least 5,000 people here,” I was saying, and really I was in awe. Last time (three weeks ago, maybe?), there’d been protesters in the mid-hundreds. But on Monday, in Santa Ana, they just kept coming—just as the old Pete Wilson commercial predicted they would—down Broadway, turning the corner at 17th, right next to Weekly HQ. They were marching miles, in loops up and back from the Civic Center almost 20 blocks away, and God, they were having so much fun. Of course we decided to jump right in.
But there weren’t 5,000 marchers in downtown Santa Ana. I kept revising my total upward as, in some kind of fabulous tactical maneuver, we were met by an eastern flank here, a platoon joining from the rear there. If there weren’t 25,000 people in the streets on Monday, I’ll tongue Lou Dobbs.
You really should have been there; I think you would have liked it.
My son would have liked it too, but I—stupid, stupid I—forgot to keep him out of school to join the May Day melee. I’m not particularly awake when he leaves anyway: he stops by my bed for inspection, when I ask him if he brushed his teeth and fed our pets, and he lies and says yes, and I ask him what he had for breakfast, and he lies and says an orange, and I know he’s lying because his lips are moving, and I tell him to at least stop by the kitchen for a cookie on his way out. The French eat their sugar in the morning, and it doesn’t seem to have hurt them. Their women are thin and fabulous, their men live long despite the filterless Gauloise waving in their elegant fingers, and even their public intellectuals look like Michael Vartan. The American way of breakfast, on the other hand, seems to churn out public intellectuals like Rush Limbaugh and the bookie of virtues, big bad Bill Bennett.
We probably should stop trashing the French.
My favorite part of the sun-soaked day, most naturally, was standing at the corner where the counterprotesters—pardon me, “pro-American” protesters—who had now dwindled to three, stood and took their lumps from the Chicanos and Chicanas ambling by. Apparently I’d missed the bigger counterprotest of the morning, when at least 40 people had turned out to stem the tide of many thousands, and when Wicked Witch of the West BarbaraCoe (the founding mother of the California Coalition for Immigration Reform, who has her very own web page devoted to her on the Southern Poverty Law Center’s list of nativist hatemongers) had been caught on tape screaming at a Latina, “Use your welfare check to go back to Mexico!” Barbara Coe is a lover, not a fighter! Well, except according to the SPLC.
The marchers shot them the peace sign, and waved, and whistled and hooted and pointed and laughed, under the watchful eyes (filled with blanketed rage) of 18 cops on horses. Frankly, I love riot cops, probably just to give my mom a stroke, but these were mostly old guys with brushy mustaches. If they’d just been sporting pith helmets or tails, I could almost see them as the mysterious Majors omnipresent in EvelynWaugh, blathering on about their campaigns in Injya before getting you drunk and making off with your loot.
Behind me, an old coot said he could solve the immigration problem in just four words: fresh water from Alaska. “Get it out of the Yukon. A 140 billion gallons on a daily basis. Get an underground pipeline to Mexico so they can irrigate their fields, and Mexicans’ll be putting up a fence to keep Americans out!” Sounds good, old coot! That’s the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that’ll get us far in this mixed-up, crazy old world! Then I almost got hit by a car and decided to stop standing in the middle of the street, while the riot cops rolled their eyes and looked away.
* * *
Oh, I wish my son had been with me, bitching and moaning about his indulged little feets. There’s only so much I can teach him while watching the tube, besides what the secretary ofstate is for. (“The secretary of state is our representative to the world,” I explained to my baby when Jimmy Smits offered principled conservative Alan Alda—!—the post, about 20 minutes before someone on West Wing exposited, “The secretary of state is our representative to the world.”)
You know that terrifyingly vacant look preteen boys get on their faces (not that look), the one that says they’re playing Xbox in their heads? My boy did something so brilliant on Sunday I immediately called my 20 closest friends to tell them, and now I shall tell all 350,000 of you.
We were having beer and chicken wings after the taping of this very bad political program I’m on that you wouldn’t like and definitely shouldn’t listen to (it turns out—and who knew?—I get shrill), and I was bitching about Hillary and talking up AlGore. (He’s no Russ Feingold, but who would vote for a Jew?) Well, before I could even shriek, “And the media owes Al Gore an apology for that whole ‘invented the Internet’ thing because he never said it, and it was slander, and what he said was, ‘I took the initiative in creating the Internet’—and he did, Blanche, he did! He was the one who wrote the bill in the Senate that took the Internet from Pentagon- and university-only and created a global commercial application!” Well, before I could say all that—and it was on the tip of my tongue—Mr. Center Right, Shawn Fago, went all snotty, “Oh, Mr. I Invented the Internet.” At which point I shrilly shrieked the whole thing you just read, and Shawn laid on me, “Created, invented. What’s the difference?”
Well, I know there’s a difference, but I don’t know!
My son, whom I would have sworn was reciting rap lyrics to himself (if I’m lucky, it was the Geto Boys), took the chicken wing from his mouth, rolled his eyeballs back to the front of his head where they belonged, and casually schooled us as he lounged back in his chair for all the world like a young sahib: “You invent something in your head, thinking about it; you create it with your hands, in front of you.”
Yes, Grasshopper. Yes, my baby. Way to shut Shawn up!
Then, of course, it was on to Iran, and Shawn snotted something about turning the other cheek, and I intoned piously, “Seventy times seven,” just to piss him off and because libs should quote holy Scripture more, and my buttercup piped up like Rain Man with “Four hundred and ninety.”
“Is it?” Shawn asked, because, after all, we were drinking, and it’s not like we couldn’t have done the math, we just hadn’t.
“Duh!” said my son, with acid preteen wit, and then, with all the sarcasm at a young man’s command, asked: “Why don’t you buy the book How to Multiply?!”
He said it with italics too.
And after that, Shawn had to go home.
Having my son around is like keeping a loaded gun in my purse—a little, pearl-handled thing that’ll put wicked-neat holes in you. What could he have done to the Witch of the West?
sick
Gun laws, laws on immigration, laws for any and everything are no longer taken seriously and ARE NOT ENFORCED. There were to be 7000 more border guards several years ago and they never materialized
Congress has their own laws for their own employees including hiring, firing and payroll taxes, retirements, health care. Congress voted to follow the law of the land several years ago. DO they pay payroll taxes? Do they hire and fire on the same discriminatory basis that they did 10 years ago? Who knows. No one is talking about it. It's apparently not as newsworthy as GLBT and Middle eastern concerns as understood by Pravda-NYT.
The govt at all levels has become a rogue pirate organization.
We are taxed and they are ruthless in enforcing their right and might to take money. That's about the only thing they do well. But the demoncrats can't even figure out how to maximize tax receipts ( are they profits or income for the libs???) - they just want to raise tax rates, lower $$receipts and make everyone equally miserable just for the sake of their own perverted principles.
Immigration is just another link in the chain of failed enforcements and failure to uphold the law. It is not a policy issue - it is an issue of courage - No yellow bellied liberal can stand to uphold the law when his voters are all illegals, felons, Perverts and communists.
We need a list - a roll call of who upholds and who subverts the laws. The light of truth is all we have left.
Soon we will b e putting US troops in the southwest just to maintain 'domestic tranquility'. The gangs will be taking over, good people will move out and the Southwest will be another third world hell hole.
Let's move congres to Phoenix, Arizona and then see how seriously they take immigration reform.
drunk
"I—stupid, stupid I—forgot to keep him out of school to join the May Day melee. I’m not particularly awake when he leaves anyway: he stops by my bed for inspection, when I ask him if he brushed his teeth and fed our pets, and he lies and says yes, and I ask him what he had for breakfast, and he lies and says an orange, and I know he’s lying because his lips are moving, and I tell him to at least stop by the kitchen for a cookie on his way out."
Some kind of mother, there. At least she knows she's stupid.
"I’m not particularly awake when he leaves anyway: he stops by my bed for inspection, "
Yeah, the mother of the year. What a miserable excuse for a human being. Typical lib.... wants to run your life, and they can't even take care of their own.
That particular passage evokes a mental image of some perpetually hung over slattern, literate but otherwise lacking in basic intelligence, rewarding her perpetually lying son with a cookie. Is there any doubt what this boy will grow up to be? He never had a chance.
I suppose she doesn't call herself "Commie-girl" for nothing.
The article read like a MySpace entry. Poor, stupid woman.
Sounds like you nailed it. Naturally, no man around. She probably expects her son to be a liar since he is a male. Don't femi-commies always assume the worst from males, anyway?
I thought it was a spoof. If not, I hope this dumb bimbo realizes that the illegals' "marches of thousands" which she thinks were so wonderful are what brought illegals to the attention of all Americans, and have brought on this demand to get rid of them. Good work, Commie Girl.
Unfortunately, the motorcycle cop lurking behind the shrubs on my route to work has not.
Frightening.
"I thought it was a spoof."
I checked other articles by this author, and you're right, it's a spoof, thank God. She knows this sort of person quite well. I know a few, too. Related to a few, actually, which is why I immediately went off about it.
She's as good as Jamie Glazov's "Dr. Progressive," as far as mocking the left. Of course, being a refugee from the USSR, Glazov would know, too.
"Freedoms" like abortion, homosexual 'rights', pornography, feminism, drive-through divorce, immoral dress, sexual license, euthenasia, Darwin worship and religious persecution are just some of the evils that have filled the vacuum caused by the government-imposed, imaginary Constitutional "separation clause". Most Americans continue to swallow the bait and revel in the taste, even as we are slowly dying from the poisen.
Islam, which is patiently but brutally conquering the West and murdering Christians all over the globe, is called "a peaceful religion" by our leaders. ILLEGAL aliens who are flooding our nation and raping our taxpayers are being rewarded for their criminal acts with welfare handouts and citizenship by our leaders. The President does not enforce the law, the Congress does not enforce the law. The Judicialry usurp the law and twist it to their own purposes. They have made right, wrong, and have made evil, good. They have made ILLEGAL, legal. For anyone left in America who still holds religious faith, values and truth dear to their hearts, it's going to be an uphill climb from now on. People need to pray now more than ever.
Let's punish our enemies and reward our friends regardless of party. In Utah CD 3, Chris Cannon a GOP five termer is squishy and Bush-like on illegal aliens. His opponent, who is very strong against illegals actually almost took the nomination away from Cannon at the convention. Now they are in a primary. Let's get behind the challenger John Jacob. Beating Cannon would send a loud clear message.
If you would like to contribute to the John Jacob campaign for U.S. Congress, please do so using either of the following methods. Credit Card Over the Phone Call our office at 801-517-9258. Someone will assist you in taking your contribution using a credit or debit card. Mail a Check or Money Order Please make checks payable to: John Jacob Campaign Fund 1500 North Technology Way Building D Orem, UT 84097
A brief "Dr. Progressive" from 2001:
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