(That's the only one of her I could find that was post-able on a family forum. She's a former Texas Aggie Basketball player) Healthy is what is actually attractive.
Posted on 03/18/2006 7:03:00 PM PST by goldstategop
The miracle of Purim owes much to a superficial, womanizing male who set about dating as many women as possible to find the one that was the most beautiful. Ahasuerus is like so many shallow men today who reduce women to nothing but a slim figure and a pretty face. But in the end, the story of Esther makes it clear that the secretly Jewish queen was chosen not for her looks, but because she "found grace and favor" in the eyes of all who beheld her. There was a womanly dignity, a sublime feminine majesty, to Esther that the rest of the harem lacked. They were empty suits, packaging only, without substance or personality. They were the kind of women who attract attention with low-cut blouses rather than high intelligence, short skirts rather than a lofty spirit. But Esther is a woman possessed both of outer and inner beauty, a heroine who exhibits uncommon wisdom, courage and dedication to the helpless. In short, she is a woman of outstanding character and her story is that of the triumph not only of the Jews over their enemies, but also of a woman's ability to win over a man with her brains rather than her bust.
How tragic, therefore, that Jewish men today have adopted the dating mores of Ahasuerus. And I'm not just talking about secular Jewish men whom we might expect to have adopted less lofty criteria in their choice of a mate. Rather, I am speaking especially of Orthodox Jewish men who have become so obsessed with the three modern virtues of a real woman - large chest, long legs, slim figure - that heart, mind, even the sparkle of her eyes, count for almost nothing.
I once served as matchmaker-in-chief for JDate. But I now find matchmaking nauseating thanks to the dispiriting superficiality of today's Jewish men. I now know that the countless men who tell me how desperate they are to find a really nice girl are lying through their teeth because what they really mean is a woman who looks like a model. At my weekly Sabbath table, where I host many singles, I watch as the men immediately dismiss even the most interesting women with the warmest hearts if they lack a bombshell body.
If she's short, she's out, and if she's overweight, well, that's the kiss of death. I'll set up men with women who I know to be attractive and charming, only to have the guy call me back the next day and complain of a lack of chemistry, by which he always means, "She wasn't pretty enough." The poor woman never had a chance. Before she opened her mouth, her body did her in.
BUT WHY would we expect anything different? Superficial people seek superficial qualities, and men today are about as deep as a crack in the sidewalk. They have been given one criterion for success, money, and they use that money as a commodity to purchase a woman's chief commodity, her physical beauty. Today's religious men are trained to appreciate little else.
I know a 20-year-old Jewish girl who developed a dangerous eating disorder because her very religious parents told her that unless she lost weight the type of yeshiva student they wanted her to marry would not take her out.
But weren't Jewish men, especially Orthodox ones, supposed to be different? The nation that gave the world's Solomon's Ode to a Woman of Valor, where a woman's God-fearing qualities are what make her beautiful, have betrayed that ideal utterly. If you are a woman in the Jewish singles scene who isn't stunningly attractive, you're going to wait a long time to get married. And once you're married, you better keep your looks up, because the women who are going to be praying with you in the ladies' section spend five hours in the gym for every hour they spend in the synagogue. They're not fools. They know that their husbands are trained to appreciate muscle tone rather than piety. And don't have more than two children, even though we need as many Jewish babies as possible, because kids will make your figure go to hell and your breasts droop almost as far.
NEVER believed that I would witness a time when even marriage-minded, Orthodox men would become womanizers, giving themselves the latitude to date as many women as possible so that they can find "the best." In yeshiva I was taught one did not date a woman the way one shopped for a car. Rather, you focused on one woman completely and tried to develop a soulful connection with her without worrying about what else might be out there.
Recently, I had a young rabbinical student of marriageable age at my home. He told me he had already dated 40 girls and had not found what he was looking for. I was stunned. "Forty nice, religious girls, and not one of them was good enough for you?"
But anyone familiar with the increasingly toxic shidduch system among the ultra-Orthodox knows that what many young men are looking for is anathema to Jewish values, namely, looks, money and pedigree. Find all three and you have hit the jackpot. Find only one, or even two, and you have "to settle."
Now, no doubt, in the secular world marrying money and marrying into an important family are also important. But when religious Jews marry for materialistic and ego-driven values, they degrade a glorious spiritual tradition.
It is high time that rabbis started giving sermons from the pulpit exhorting single men in the congregation to be gentlemen and reward women for developing the traits that Judaism truly values like compassion, wisdom and goodness. While physical attraction is always important in marriage - both for men and for women - Jewish leaders must begin inspiring future husbands to judge their wives' attractiveness by considerations beyond flesh alone. For if we fail, we'll continue seeing Jewish women feeling permanently insecure about their "imperfect bodies" rather than taking pride in their generous spirits.
I would never convert. Folks who do must have not had much of an affection for whatever religion they were brought up with.
Expose them to both and let the children decide for themselves would be my suggestion.
I have known some less strident Jewish gals to be fair....maybe it's the Lilith myth...I used to think it was an Eastern European thing but Polish Catholic girls are quite different.
Has Judaism always encouraged women to be bossy? I would think not...at least not what I know of the Old Covenant or the Talmud
But...I think some Latino, most Southern and some Asian chicks make the easiest to live with wives...
but some guys like a challenge
Good Luck to ya
I'm very married with my 5th spawn in the oven...to a very similar culture woman which is just easier
I sympathize to a point, but geez, you talk and talk almost as much as a woman... ;~D
If a man truly loves a woman for who she is, and if she loves him in return, and if they truly care for each other, and share common values, she is a beautiful woman in the eyes of her man, and that’s all that really matters. I married mine almost 50 years ago, and she’s still a beautiful woman, Yes, she's a little older, but so am I.
Heck, everyone knows it is because I was imprinted with Barbie when my sisters had while we were kids....
My Gi-Joes used to hang Ken upside down by his ankles from the dresser.
She was what many men would see as a dream "babe". Just under 6ft. tall, exceptional curves in all the right places, naturally blond curly hair, and very intelligent to top it off.
We were good friends during our time at Texas A&M but never more than that. I asked her one time why she wouldn't go out with me and her reply was something to the effect of "while you're a sweet guy that any girl would be lucky to have" she wanted a guy who was "sweet, dashing, and built like a man". That comment hurt like hell.
The irony is a few months ago I saw a picture of her and her fiance. He is around 5'2 and could stand to lose 50lbs.
I wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, go beat on something, or all of the above.
I saw a show about cavemen. The women chose the Alpha Male to make sure her offspring survived.
Amen....nicely said.
Don't let this girlie stuff get in your head ;-o
http://www.pixiport.com/Cgi-Bin/PixiDetail.pl?IMAGE=Gallery-EEE/GE104-02.jpg&LINK=Gallery-G26&CAP=
The female body truly is a work of art.
Women spend a lot of time shopping, getting dolled up and reading various entertainment magazines about who's doing who.
So that superficial issue is very debatable IMO.
I love Rubens...and his courageous documentation of the 17th century Plague of Crotch-Hankies. ;-).
(That's the only one of her I could find that was post-able on a family forum. She's a former Texas Aggie Basketball player) Healthy is what is actually attractive.
I agree with this. I think up to a certain age, and some much longer, women *do* go for the jerk.
Those women look deep
Deployed reservist LOL dittoes!
I get into plenty of arguments with women at FR but I don't take what people whom I've never met say too seriously.
You don't know many Latinas, do you? :-P
"In renaissance times the more robust women were the idea of perfection (just check out the paintings) - not an anorexic, oversized boob chick to be found."
There are plenty of rather slim women with a nice set in the art of the Renaissance and early post-Renaissance and on through the 1700s. Check out the Mada Desnuda.
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