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Heard the one about Chuck Norris?
St. Petersburg Times ^ | 02/03/2006 | John Barry

Posted on 02/03/2006 7:57:02 AM PST by rarestia

Tuesday night at the Boston Market on East Bay Drive in Clearwater: Guys behind the counter are slinging Chuck Norris jokes.

"You know what kind of furniture Chuck Norris has in his house?" says Matt Kindred, 18.

"Bowflex."

Matt tells another: "Chuck Norris never blinks his eyes. Never."

Behind him, manager Richard Moody, 22, echoes: "Never!"

Matt executes a pirouette and whips a finger at countermate Evan Heebner, 19. Evan tells the one about how Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. "Too bad Chuck Norris never cries," Evan says.

"Ooooh, good one," everyone says.

* * *

Teenagers all across the country, many of whom have never even seen Walker, Texas Ranger, are telling Chuck Norris jokes.

They're really bad. If you want to blame someone, the guilty party is a Brown University freshman. Since last summer, Ian Spector has been spreading jokes like: "Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there."

Ian has collected 40,000 jokes like that. Every day he gets more than a half-million hits on his Web site, The Random Chuck Norris Fact Generator (www.4Q.cc/chuck/) His jokes have been picked up by Saturday Night Live.

(Excerpt) Read more at sptimes.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Unclassified
KEYWORDS: chuck; chucknorris; funny; kayak; norris; tothechatroom
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To: rarestia

Brokeback Mountain used to be called Mount Everest - before Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it.


61 posted on 02/03/2006 11:00:13 AM PST by lugsoul ("Try not to be sad." - Laura Bush)
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To: rarestia

"Yeah, we're just starting to raid MC every week. We farm UBRS on a daily basis. Most of us are geared enough that we can get through it in about 45 mins to an hour. Have fun when you start BRD! "

Cool, thanks, and grats on you guys doing well. The highest instance run I've done so far is a 5 man Zul'Farak, of which we hadn to abort because nobody had the key for the 100 Trollsthing. (The key for the Troll cages) but I got an sweet shoulder piece on that run, so it worked out well. I had SM on farm status for a while now.

Since I plan on trying to hit 50 this weekend, what dungeons/instances can you recommend for a low 50's 5-man group? There are still some acronyms that I don't know yet. (still a bit of a n00b) I know that LBRS/UBRS are Lower/Upper Black Rock Spire, and MC is obviously Molten Core. I know that ZG is Zul'Grub and is for high 50's. What does BRD stand for? Can I start to hit it in my low 50's?


"In relation to the article, I love how Norris responded to it all. In today's litigious society, many would jump at the opportunity to sue the pants off this 17 year old for "defamation," but Norris shrugs it off and thinks it's funny. Definitely a role model for today's youth!"

Yeah, it's definitely admirable how he handled it. Then again, alot of the stuff is meant to create this absolutely insanely powqerful figure out of him. I don't think I'd get to offended if websites were beig dedicated to how much a$$ I kick.

Then again, it's not like he has much to worry about... I mean, the guy doesn't even wear a watch... HE decides what time it is!

:D


62 posted on 02/03/2006 1:39:13 PM PST by Bones75
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To: filepile; MikeinIraq
Catfish bait? For the love of Mike...

Ok, Mike...fess up!

63 posted on 02/03/2006 3:50:40 PM PST by JRios1968 ("Cogito, ergo FReep": I think, therefore I FReep.)
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To: lugsoul

Christopher Walken didn't use to need more cowbell, until Chuck Norris gave him a roundhouse kick. Now that's all he needs.


64 posted on 02/03/2006 3:53:05 PM PST by JRios1968 ("Cogito, ergo FReep": I think, therefore I FReep.)
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To: rarestia

65 posted on 02/03/2006 3:53:26 PM PST by cmsgop ( Cindy is just another Taco in the Chavez Fiesta Platter............)
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To: filepile; JRios1968
Catfish bait? For the love of Mike...

I didn't do it!!!
66 posted on 02/03/2006 4:07:24 PM PST by MikefromOhio
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To: saberpride
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Thanks!!! That was SO Funny! The tears are streaming done my face from laughing so hard!!!! Thank goodness no one is in our office right now! Oh, man that was so funny!

My Dad passed 1 year ago (12/31/05.) This is one the most vivid memories I have, it is a pleasure to have someone else enjoy it. I laughed so hard I remember to this day. Closest I ever came to wetting myself laughing.

67 posted on 02/03/2006 8:00:50 PM PST by IamConservative (Who does not trust a man of principle? A man who has none.)
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To: Bluegrass Conservative

What did you think of Walker:Texas Ranger?


68 posted on 02/04/2006 11:26:00 AM PST by desherwood7
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To: rarestia
esp. for someone my age who group with Chuck Norris action flicks.

How, exactly, do you group your Chuck Norris films?
69 posted on 02/04/2006 11:49:16 AM PST by Beckwith (The liberal press has picked sides ... and they have sided with the Islamofascists)
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To: Beckwith
How, exactly, do you group your Chuck Norris films?

Any way Chuck Norris wants him to!

70 posted on 02/04/2006 12:12:28 PM PST by Sally'sConcerns (Native Texan now in SW Ok.)
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To: Bones75

BRD is Blackrock Depths. It's good for 52 - 57, and it's crucial for a lot of end game content. You'll get your attunement for MC there, you'll get your Onyxia key, etc.


71 posted on 02/07/2006 8:58:08 AM PST by rarestia ("One man with a gun can control 100 without one." - Lenin / Molwn Labe!)
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To: Beckwith

I understand that many Norris films were "before my time," but I grew up in a household where wholesome TV was old Gleason reruns and I Love Lucy. I wasn't indoctrinated with the PBS (pablem BS) that was out there.


72 posted on 02/07/2006 8:59:40 AM PST by rarestia ("One man with a gun can control 100 without one." - Lenin / Molwn Labe!)
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To: desherwood7
What did you think of Walker:Texas Ranger?

I appreciate the fact that it was a good decent show with moral messages. But, come on, as far as plots and acting . . . kinda sucked.

73 posted on 02/07/2006 5:16:28 PM PST by Bluegrass Conservative
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To: Bluegrass Conservative

I thought the show was quite good.


74 posted on 02/09/2006 8:18:18 AM PST by desherwood7
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