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The Top 10 Lies Happy Husbands Tell
MSN/Redbook ^ | 01/04/06 | Keith Blanchard

Posted on 01/04/2006 2:56:33 PM PST by misterrob

You want to know the truth? Guys lie -- occasionally, compulsively, desperately. We certainly don't have a monopoly on lying, and I've seen women pull off some whoppers, but we men, over centuries of tinkering, have developed hardy, scrutiny-resistant strains. In the interests of furthering intergender understanding, I talked real guys into identifying, and explaining, their biggest lies.

"Sure, honey, that dress looks fine."
"I can fix it."
"I was not looking at her boobs."
"Nothing's wrong."
"I tried to call you."
"I don't want to have sex unless you want to."
"I'm the best, baby."
"My old girlfriend? She was just okay."
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
"I'll never lie to you."

(Excerpt) Read more at lifestyle.msn.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: clinton; humor; lies; love; marriage; men
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To: ozarkgirl
Well I've certainly never met a man who said that!

"Whew! Get a whiff of that one!"

Never met a woman who said that, either.

81 posted on 01/04/2006 4:09:36 PM PST by Prime Choice (We are RepubliCANs, not RepubliCAN'Ts.)
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To: Mordacious

lmao


82 posted on 01/04/2006 4:10:47 PM PST by brooklin
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To: Prime Choice

Obviously you are male, not that there's anything wrong with that! :)

I'll never forget a conversation with my ex:

I told him about something (can't remember what, it's been a few years) that we'd agreed in the past couple weeks.

He: No, you never told me about this.

me: yes.. I did

he: Was I in the other room and you hollared at me? (He always accused me of hollaring at him from a different room)

me: No, I looked you straight in the face and said it, you looked straight back at me, nodded your head and said sure, that's fine.

he: Well I don't remember that!

I do believe he did not remember the conversation. God bless men but you do have selective memory.


83 posted on 01/04/2006 4:17:58 PM PST by ozarkgirl
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To: ozarkgirl

Actually, the thing is, in light of Katrina, I want off the river, because even with our elevated house, the water came very close to coming on the front porch. If the storm come in 20 miles east of where it did come in, the first floor would have been flooded. As it stands, we lost a boat (why I wanted to be here in the first place, so I could get on the river without having to pay for space at the marina)

The main disagreement is not moving off the river, it's when to move (do we wait out another hurricane season in hope we can get more of an appreciation in property value) and where to. I want to live in one of the historic districts, she wants to move back to the hill (much of which was built to mimick the historic districts, but with construction dates in the 40s and 50s).

One area that we both have interest in is Ashland Place, and the general vicinity around it, though personally, I would like to live downtown somewhere, especially considering if we did that, I could just go home for lunchtime. (She actually could too, don't work too far from each other). Of course, the issue with downtown (and here's one she's right on) is that it floods easy, be it street flooding or storm surge flooding. But then again, a decision like this will take a long time too, though I'm just hoping that we do move before the Big One hits.


84 posted on 01/04/2006 4:21:08 PM PST by AzaleaCity5691 (The enemy lies in the heart of Gadsden)
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To: laney
...they think "honey roll over" or "gimmie"

Hey, those are great ! Can I use them ?
"how about it?" doesn't seem to be working anymore
85 posted on 01/04/2006 4:23:10 PM PST by stylin19a (you can leed Freepers to spelchek, but you can't make 'em use it.)
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To: SW6906

ping


86 posted on 01/04/2006 4:24:26 PM PST by namsman
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To: dfwgator

You sound like such a man! I love it!


87 posted on 01/04/2006 4:26:11 PM PST by Lizavetta
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To: R. Scott

Dress looks ok, but now what do I wear? (think about it....)

Yup! Whatcha' think them things cost????

Girlfriend?!?!?!?!?! Right, baby, yer rich, I swear....


88 posted on 01/04/2006 4:27:15 PM PST by Texas WOP
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To: AzaleaCity5691
One area that we both have interest in is Ashland Place, and the general vicinity around it, though personally, I would like to live downtown somewhere, especially considering if we did that, I could just go home for lunchtime. (She actually could too, don't work too far from each other).

Is there a comparable neighborhood without a flooding problem? It sounds like you're looking for the same type of neighborhood, obviously agreed on that. I'd either look for another neighborhood without flooding problems or a home in that area and get real good flood insurance! I think I'd also keep my keepsakes upstairs. :)

Personally I love real old houses for character but am not willing to do the upkeep. I also am looking for a house but after looking at several older homes, I am now searching for a newer house. The maintenance on the old ones is tremendous, especially as one ages.

89 posted on 01/04/2006 4:29:57 PM PST by ozarkgirl
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To: Prime Choice
The wealth of info on FR never ceases to amaze
90 posted on 01/04/2006 4:35:57 PM PST by varyouga (I no longer fear death. I only fear the day when the DUmmies take over.)
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To: RightOnline
"I'll pull out in time.........I promise."

Good one... But, I think the all time biggest lie is... "I promise not to _ _ _ in your _ _ _ _ _."

91 posted on 01/04/2006 4:37:14 PM PST by LiveFreeOrDie2001 (Fellow FReepers... Get busy, make more Conservatives !)
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To: varyouga

Just read your home page. Very interesting life you have there!


92 posted on 01/04/2006 4:38:14 PM PST by ozarkgirl
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To: Prime Choice
(chortle)

I've used EVERY SINGLE ONE of these!

My ex's sister was very cute, too. She said to me after our first Christmas party: "I saw you checkin' her out and you sure spent a lot of time talking with her" ... and I told her: "yep, she's almost as cute as you ... good looks must run in your family".

In the looks department I would have taken either one ... but I told the truth!

And I was never on the hook.

93 posted on 01/04/2006 4:39:22 PM PST by manwiththehands (Repeal the 17th Amendment. Now.)
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To: Publius6961

Whoopers must be really significant, as opposed to whoppers. "Whoopers" is probably "whoppers" times 2.

I am also doing some serious research into the nutritional value BK Whoppers, because thet are my favorite complete meal for under $3.00. Don't forget,"It takes two hands to handle a Whopper." With "Whoopers", you may need an extra hand.


94 posted on 01/04/2006 4:46:35 PM PST by joem15
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To: manwiththehands; misterrob

Hmmmm. I'm up for a chalenge. Let me try my hand at translating...

"Sure, honey, that dress looks fine."
- on CZJ...

"I can fix it."
= When you have a hammer, everything is a nail.

"I was not looking at her boobs."
= I was staring at her crotch.

"Nothing's wrong."
- that sex wouldn't fix.

"I tried to call you."
- once, but I hung up before it rang.

"I don't want to have sex unless you want to."
- or I can find some else who does.

"I'm the best, baby."
= I'm the best, baby.

"My old girlfriend? She was just okay."
- 'cept she wanted to talk after sex.

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
- more than a hundred times.

"I'll never lie to you."
- that you'll find out about.


95 posted on 01/04/2006 4:47:06 PM PST by null and void (The lesson of the holocaust: if someone says they are going to kill you, pay attention.)
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To: derllak
"Have you tried wearing a thong? Lol! That'll get her motor purring!"

Not this motor!

sw

96 posted on 01/04/2006 4:52:22 PM PST by spectre (Spectre's wife)
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To: Thrusher; Prime Choice
#1-10: "Oh, honey, size doesn't matter."

I had a buddy who was admittedly 'shortchanged'...his favorite comeback was "It's not the size of the wand, it's the magic in it..."

97 posted on 01/04/2006 4:52:43 PM PST by ErnBatavia (I post in slang..live with it or ignore it - reader's choice.)
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To: JackDanielsOldNo7

Most women abhor sex>>

That's not true. At all.

I hope.


98 posted on 01/04/2006 4:54:59 PM PST by Appalled but Not Surprised
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To: TR Jeffersonian

ping


99 posted on 01/04/2006 5:35:31 PM PST by kalee
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To: null and void

Hee hee, Bill Clinton's list of lies!


100 posted on 01/04/2006 5:52:40 PM PST by ViLaLuz (Stop the ACLU - Support the Public Expression of Religion Act 2005 - Call your congressmen.)
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