Hmmmm. I'm up for a chalenge. Let me try my hand at translating...
"Sure, honey, that dress looks fine."
- on CZJ...
"I can fix it."
= When you have a hammer, everything is a nail.
"I was not looking at her boobs."
= I was staring at her crotch.
"Nothing's wrong."
- that sex wouldn't fix.
"I tried to call you."
- once, but I hung up before it rang.
"I don't want to have sex unless you want to."
- or I can find some else who does.
"I'm the best, baby."
= I'm the best, baby.
"My old girlfriend? She was just okay."
- 'cept she wanted to talk after sex.
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
- more than a hundred times.
"I'll never lie to you."
- that you'll find out about.
Hee hee, Bill Clinton's list of lies!