[jjm2111]

What makes this especially funny is the following:"Explanations of these events:
a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the piss bottle thing, for instance.)
b) I witnessed another soldier do it. (Like the Sergeant we had, that basically went insane, and crucified some dead mice.)
c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do. (Like start a porn studio.)
d) Was the result of a clarification of the above. (“What about especially patriotic porn?”)
e) I was just minding my own business, when something happened. (“Schwarz...what is *that*?” said the Sgt, as he pointed to the back of my car? "Um....a rubber sheep...I can explain why that's there....")

I especially liked:"Can't have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn't over). " There was a guy in Kuwait who did this. He was in his mid-twenties and prented that he was in Vietnam. His 'flashbacks' were hilarious. Unfortunately, a fair share of people, including some senior officers took him seriously."

-And-

"The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for." I confess I did this one in Kuwait.

[WideGlide]

SKIPPY!!

Obviously PFC Skippy has too much time on her hands.

[HEY4QDEMS]

5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.

Saline???

[null and void]

Some of these sound awfully familiar...

[Petronski]

Number 7 is always my favorite.

[dead]

The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

Yes they are. Very funny stuff.

[wtc911]

FYI.....'Skippy' is also the derogatory term south asians use for Ozzies.

[Fixit]

REPOST:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1390411/posts

[antiRepublicrat]

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

My kind of person. Sometimes those in charge don't think their little witticisms all the way through before saying them.

[Antonello]

Judging from my own personal experiences, numbers 20, 51, 53, 54, parts of 58 (the popular cadence 'Casey Jones' comes to mind), 61, 82, 84, 88, 89, 124, 125, 126, 133, 153, 164, and 196 don't apply to the Marine Corps.

Additionally, numbers 40, 86, 130, 161, and 184 may be acceptable in the Corps depending on the situation.

Finally, although number 191 is technically correct, it has been demonstrated that just about any broken item can be field repaired by yanking an 'extra' piece off a handy Humvee and hammering into the proper shape.

Semper Fi.

[DustyMoment]

Too funny!!

[antiRepublicrat]

Aside from him being Airborne, with #45 (stripping on Bragg Blvd), #85 (sniper incident), #189 (SERE) and #211 (LTC Steele), this guy was definitely at Bragg for a while.

[wingnutx]

It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.

That one definitely still applies to me.

[RebelBanker]

An oldie but a goodie! I posted a couple of my own additions to the list on the thread when this was posted last time.

Soldiers can be quite a creative group and too much of soldiering consists of being bored out of your skull. VERY dangerous combination!

[ASOC]

I would imagine that everyone breathing and in the service for more than a year, had at least one Skippy moment.

Some have a Skippy moment every day.

Most survice the moment.