Posted on 01/03/2006 9:31:12 AM PST by FreedomFarmer
The 213 Things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army....
1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.
2. My proper military title is "Specialist Schwarz" not "Princess Anastasia".
3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
6. Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters.
9. Not allowed to title any product “Get Over it”.
10. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on government time.
11. Not allowed to join the Communist Party.
12. Not allowed to join any militia.
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.
15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to “Sic Brass!”
16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my “Samson like powers”.
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous “Barbie Girl Dance” while on duty.
More at link.
(Excerpt) Read more at skippyslist.com ...
You better smile when you say that, mister!
;-)
Too funny!!
Aside from him being Airborne, with #45 (stripping on Bragg Blvd), #85 (sniper incident), #189 (SERE) and #211 (LTC Steele), this guy was definitely at Bragg for a while.
Women can be in combat units (plenty of women in the 82nd and 101st as well as other dividions, brigades and battalions), but not in certain combat MOSs (Military Occupational Specialties) like infantry and armor.
Back in my day, OPFOR was just called "The Aggressor Team", and we got to play in the field against the home team every day.
One dark and cloudy night, I lit off a star flare to signal a delayed 2 point attack, and the flare bounced off a tree limb, lit a battalion CP Large on fire, and it ate the switchboard, supply, C-rat stack, a Lt. Col's beer stash, and he and the CSM's TA-50, cots, clothes, and card game.
For once, it was not a good day to be me.
I looked all over for that FR squad car pic. Don't worry, I caught your drift. (I used to play left drift in school.)
That one definitely still applies to me.
Check out
165. I do not get “that time of month”.
178. I am not “A lesbian trapped in a man's body”.
and many references to porn and deviant sex - obvious a guy.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
In the Navy, this is called playing f**k-f**k.
When a "superior" starts unjustifiably treating you like a moron, you start acting like a moron when it is least convenient for them. It is usually doing something that is a literal interpretation of a trivial, poorly worded order especially when it will interfere with more important business.
Example:
Cheif: "Why didn't you tell me that the Captain was angry and looking for me?"
Seaman Jones: "You told me to shut up and leave you alone."
After they are suitably frustrated, you ask them if it is OK for you to resume thinking for yourself.
They aren't my fault.
And I can say I'm not Skippy.
Skippy was Psyche Ops, I was Artillery.
An oldie but a goodie! I posted a couple of my own additions to the list on the thread when this was posted last time.
Soldiers can be quite a creative group and too much of soldiering consists of being bored out of your skull. VERY dangerous combination!
Too funny...people at work looking at me wondering why I'm laughing so hard!
I would imagine that everyone breathing and in the service for more than a year, had at least one Skippy moment.
Some have a Skippy moment every day.
Most survice the moment.
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