Posted on 12/30/2005 10:21:26 AM PST by onedoug
Deenis Prager on now discussing his own impending divorce....
Thanks. The important component as you said is not to hold something against the other person in a bad spell. That is amazingly difficult, I think.
It's best to have aligned life goals rather than make big surrenders like the one I mentioned. If the woman gives in, at some level (unless motherhood really suits her), and she really never wanted kids, there will be some resentment there against hubby. similarly, hubby who gives in with no kids (but who wanted them) will feel pangs on resentment as his siblings and friends enjoy their children, and may grow to resent his surrender on the issue.
These things have a habit of getting worse.
For me, I tend to value practical responses that are principled over principled responses that are impractical. :-) Some mature compromises and indeed sacrifices must be made to keep a marriage intact. The bigger and more important those surrenders/compromises are, the more potentially harmful they may grow to be.
Just the truth. Thanks! I come to this as a practicing, but practical, Catholic, by the way.
I've been getting some education here on Jewish wedding vows and divorce procedures. It appears that according to DP's views divorce is a perfectly acceptable, if not desirable, option. Christians tend to take Jesus' words on the matter seriously, that what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. There is no question in contemporary America of "forcing" people to remain married, and no one has suggested that is possible. What some are saying is that if you take a vow "till death do us part" to your spouse and your God, you're pretty well stuck with it.
I know nothing of the Dennis Praeger situation and would not presume to judge him. But as a general rule, when there are children of a marriage, the parents' "feelings" are far less important than the welfare of the children in having an intact marriage of the mother and father.
: ). Practical Protestant in my perspectives. Mostly, I try to really understand what God expects from us.
Perfection is certainly not one of those things. Thank goodness, because honestly I could never live up to half the "important principles" people spout around here. All I can say is that I am unflinchingly grateful that I have a God that was willing to take the wages of sin for me.
And oh yeah, what the hell possessed him to announce this during "The Happiness Hour" ?!*
That's a very old picture.
He was on the same plane I took recently to Houston.
I heard his unmistakable voice while boarding the plane, and wondered if that was him.
Now I know it was. He was alone and did not look very happy.
Why it's important to focus on that one person and not "good Christians" who will always become a disappointment-- sooner or later.
Everything but those Tomatoes.
< What is the other person doesn't want to breathe the same air you breathe? >
I didn't hear his announcement. I do know that he said it was no one's fault...or something like that. I wonder if it is she who is filing? In that case, what choice does he have.
Do you mean you're not sure IF he ever had authority? After you eventually DO buy his words as Gospel, are you then deeming him a person of authority? How DO you understand "authority?"
Astonishing bump for later.
You waded in not even knowing who Prager is? Chutzpah!
In looking over the web site it seems that, if they know a person's orientation, they divulge it.
You have my sympathy, gloating in the sadness of another person's life. You really are pathetic.
That's my point to the strong advocates against divorce - if your spouse decides to leave you, as a practical matter what choice do you have? None. It's been decided for you.
I don't know the Pragers situation but my point was not specific to them in any way.
I also have to say that I am a huge fan of Dennis, and this development does sadden me.
I know but it was pretty funny to see it on an ID. What's next? Will "SEXUAL ORIENTATION" be listed on driver's licenses? And what would the categories be? Staight, Gay, Lesbian, Transexual, Transvestite, Bi-Sexual, and/or Otherly Gendered?
It took until post 156 before anyone asked this question. Instead, we have a couple of schmucks rushing to their keyboards before any of the real facts are out there. Some just want to talk out their collective asses, others want to demonstrate what douchebags they can be, as if we didn't know this already.
I agree with a lot of what you are posting, but I wanted to point out the part in bold. We aren't "saddled with" someone, we CHOOSE them. The hope, of course, is that we will make a good choice. Sometimes people make poor choices and sometimes people change in ways that we could not anticipate.
I don't insist that everyone stay married no matter how miserable they are. I would like people to understand that there are cycles to marriage, and sometimes just waiting things out and making more effort to be nice to each other can get you through a slumpy period.
Part of the reason we get married is to experience deep love and intimacy. Many people never get there because they cut and run when things aren't fun anymore. They don't seem to realize that if they make the effort to work it through, (many times) they will be rewarded tremendously with more love, respect and trust. My husband and I have gone through some VERY rough times in our marriage and some rough times in life. Today, I love and appreciate my husband a hundred times more than I did when we married 15 years ago.
It is impossible to do this without both spouses being somewhat willing to stick it out, or at least too apathetic to leave. People seem to have no hope at all that things CAN be different. That makes me sad.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.