Also, a specialty funnel is always a nice surprise. Possible variations include the long neck (for trannies), the flexi-funnel (multipurpose) and the jumbo reservoir (for changing oil from a jug).
Posted on 12/14/2005 11:56:38 AM PST by TASMANIANRED
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these simple rules and you should have no problem.
1. When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one.
I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.
No one knows why.
2. If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it.
Men love saying those two words, "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK, by the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"
Again, no one knows why.
3. If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror.
Men love gifts for their cars.
Again, no one knows why.
4. Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes.
If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
5. You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out.
If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
6. Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years.
Real men drink whiskey or beer.
7. Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant.
We do not stink - we are "earthy".
8. Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.
Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea.
No one knows why.
9. Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box.
It will ruin any occasion and he will always have parts left over.
10. Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Beaver Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Canadian Tire Store, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is.
("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
11. Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue.
Get him a monster barbecue with a 100 pound propane tank. Tell him the gas leaks.
"Oh the thrill!The challenge! Who wants hamburger?"
12. Tickets to a Denver Broncos, Colorado Rockies, Central Texas Stampede games are a smart gift.
However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."
Everyone knows why. 13. Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw.
If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #08 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
14. It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder.
Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder.
No one knows why.
15. Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts.
Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
No one knows why.
Too funny!
I had a jerk friend that wouldn't dim his lights to an on coming car. Yep, it was a cop. Got a ticket.
He was so mad when he was driving away he swerved toward a box in the street. Yep, it was a fairly small box full of nails.
He was REALLY mad when he had to walk to a phone and call his pop for help!
My DH is into woodworking. I once asked him to make me some end tables. If you add in the cost of the tools he HAD to have to make them, they cost $20,000.
Did you have to pay for the broken toe...
Ain't nuthin' wrong with schnapps, as long as it's not a girly fruit like peach or strawberry. Apple or mint schnapps would be welcome by most men, I think.
Also, regarding that "men drink whiskey or beer" line, that's true as far as it goes. But some of us of the slavic pursuasion prefer vodka. Stolichnaya Vodka.
10. Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Beaver Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Canadian Tire Store, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.
I wanted to register for the wedding at Autozone, but alas, they have no registry. Dayum.
Deserved every minute of his misery.
Have you named the pups yet?
Tarps are best when darker. Kelly green or royal blue are kinda gay. Hunter green or navy blue are preferred.
Sounds like me and the pinapple ice cream ..just not 20K yet.
Heavenly, I tell ya.
I agree. Mines on my keychain.
Sounds like an ongoing expense.
Nope... I was out on service calls the entire day, and didn't know that the box had come in, or that the idiot had kicked it, until the next day! He did get a chewing out from his boss, though, just for doing something that stupid, as it could have been parts for a client with my name on them. The boss thought it was hillarious!
Mark
Oh, and the best part was that they refused to allow a workmans comp claim to be filed, so he had to use his regular health insurance, amd pay his own deductable.
Mark
Also, a specialty funnel is always a nice surprise. Possible variations include the long neck (for trannies), the flexi-funnel (multipurpose) and the jumbo reservoir (for changing oil from a jug).
One of these days I'll get there.
Another place for some unbelivable mounts are small cafe's or sporting goods stores. We've saw some monsters hanging in these places shot by joe local in 19 whenever.
Self inflicted...
Long neck for trannies, multipurpose flexi and the jumbo reservoir?
That has to be the gayest-sounding wish list ever.
Not that there's anything wrong with that ...
You just gave me a great idea!
Women: Find out which cordless power tool is your husband's favorite, then take the battery pack to the store and get him extras.
I must have ten of these things!
Hmmmm, CowBell,.....never thought of that..............
wrong addy on Harborfreight....www.harborfreight.com if you can't find something to please a man at one of these places, you are hanging out with the wrong kind of men!!!
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