How about this one, though it's only 15"?
Mark
Posted on 12/14/2005 11:56:38 AM PST by TASMANIANRED
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these simple rules and you should have no problem.
1. When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one.
I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.
No one knows why.
2. If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it.
Men love saying those two words, "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK, by the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"
Again, no one knows why.
3. If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror.
Men love gifts for their cars.
Again, no one knows why.
4. Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes.
If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
5. You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out.
If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
6. Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years.
Real men drink whiskey or beer.
7. Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant.
We do not stink - we are "earthy".
8. Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.
Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea.
No one knows why.
9. Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box.
It will ruin any occasion and he will always have parts left over.
10. Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Beaver Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Canadian Tire Store, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is.
("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
11. Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue.
Get him a monster barbecue with a 100 pound propane tank. Tell him the gas leaks.
"Oh the thrill!The challenge! Who wants hamburger?"
12. Tickets to a Denver Broncos, Colorado Rockies, Central Texas Stampede games are a smart gift.
However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."
Everyone knows why. 13. Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw.
If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #08 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
14. It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder.
Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder.
No one knows why.
15. Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts.
Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
No one knows why.
Rope? Did somebody say rope?
I'm in heaven -- and would consider this a GREAT gift. The Scoutmaster is waiting here with his waxed cotton thread, ready to whip the ends of that 3/8" beauty. The only question is: which knife will I use to cut the cotton thread? Hmmm. This Kershaw? That Randall?
The closest the Scoutmaster ever came to getting a divorce was when his spousal unit "borrowed" one of the Scoutmaster's favorite Rubbermaid tubs of ropes so that a Girl Scout leader she hardly knew could use them for a month to teach knots to her Scouts. I never saw them again, he said, wiping a tear from his eye.
Said something about modifying the beaver tail.
I was afraid to ask what it was.
Don't worry about what it does, or what it's for. Just make sure that it's from Ed Brown! IMHO, he makes the best!
Mark
Milwaukee has 28 volt stuff now. Don't set the bar too low!
Generally speaking, you're safe buying a man anything that has a barrel, a blade, or breasts. "Safe" in the sense that he will appreciate the gift ...
Golly darn, how could I forget the John Wayne movies. He loves John Wayne movies.
How about this one, though it's only 15"?
Mark
Last year I bought the old man a new three burner gas grill, a Weber Platinum - he luvs it. I also bought him a corded electric drill and nail gun - he luvs em.
This year it's a table saw and a new bolt cutters.
I always throw in a couple of flashlights, old-spice and preferred stock cologne, since I am a fancy girl.
Last year, I received a new double oven. This year it's a new dishwasher, I think?????
Also, at least until they move to Mexico, anything with the words "Carhartt" on it will go over well too.
"Should have added flashlights.
Men never have a wide enough variety of flashlights."
And for the best in flashlights, go to www.longbowonline.com.
The Cabela's shopping experiences is better than looking through a catalog --- per my hubby who just HATES to SHOP (unless it's guns or tools -- and even then it is a quick trip)
My brother in law has a dibbler...He knows how to join rope to make it longer.
He would think he died and went to heaven with many pieces of rope.
TASMANIANRED,
We just got a new BASS PRO here, near Knoxville, TN, at Sevierville.
That's where I did my Christmas shopping. I HATE to shop, except for at a sporting goods store. I found too many things I needed at the BASS PRO, set me way back financially :)
He talks about Ed Brown as if he could walk on water.
No matter if we actually own or have ever owned the car.
"OH, COOL! A Chilton's book for Buick Regal and Century 1975-1987! Now if any I EVER know EVER buys onea those we'll be able to work on it easier!"
I think you have the secret to a 65 year marriage.
Are you speaking in tongues or code?
True, but the size and weight of the package is a DEAD giveaway long before he gets the wrapping off. :-)
This has nothing to do with the thread, but it's a funny story none the less...
Long ago, I was working at a place that had a receiving dock, and I figured that this would be a better place to have some personal items I had purchased over the phone shipped, as they would have to be signed for. Well, I ordered a few thousand hard cast lead bullets, and got one shipping box with 4 x 500 bullet 200 gr boxes. The box really wasn't that big. Well, one of my coworkers was a pain in the butt, and was mad at me for one reason or another, and he saw this small box sitting on the dock with my name on it, and decided to kick it! He broke a toe!
Mark
Doomonyou,
If you ever get a chance to visit a BASS PRO, do it. Just looking at the mounts is awesome -- not to mention all the cool fishing and hunting stuff.
I get the catalogues too, but the stores are really something to see, especially the headquarters in Springfield, Mo.
Speaking of which, guess what I just bought for myself at home depot? A rugged nylon cell phone holster with a d-ring for keys, and a TINY LITTLE MAG-LITE with it's own special pouch right next to the phone!
Heavenly, I tell ya.
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