Posted on 07/08/2005 7:50:05 AM PDT by manny613
A rabid Harry Potter fan took his life yesterday after inadvertently learning a plot spoiler from the soon-to-be-released J.K. Rowling opus, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince."
Jude Ralston, 32, of Hudson, Ohio left a suicide note indicating that since overhearing the plot spoiler at a shopping mall earlier in the day, "I no longer have a reason to live."
(Excerpt) Read more at jewishworldreview.com ...
"It appears that most of the FReepers today don't understand that this is not a real story."
Well, if you've spent any time whatsoever over at DU, this is entirely believable.
Turns out Voldemort is really.... Harry! Our hero turns to the Dark Side and travels back in time to become the man he hates.
Potter Ping!! We are almost there!
Or what.
What you actually are is someone who failed to read the source of the story.
Not bad!
I had to read it two times before I realized it was satire. There are some Star Trek, Star Wars, and other fans that I've met who're capable of doing this.
I remember going to the opening night of "ST: First Contact" and being surrounded by people wearing Borg costumes, and going to Origins in Ft. Worth in '93 and being surrounded by Klingons and Imperial Stormtroopers. I was wearing a polo shirt, shorts, and drinking a beer. They threw the rest out because there weren't supposed to be roleplaying thingys where people wore costumes.
I did have a blast playing Battletech and Star Fleet Battles. If any other geeks want to hear about it, I'll tell you how I wrecked an entire battlefest in 20 minutes on Battletech... ;^)
I have my sources...
The only real spoilers I can think of would be "Who is the Half-Bood Prince?" and "Who dies?". Or maybe "Who is the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and what becomes of him?" (the surprise there would be nothing, he comes back in book seven).
So, did the note say what the spoiler was?
Explain?
You can't fool me. This was only supposed to _look_ like a suicide. Rowling and Scholastic are serious about preventing pre-release leaks, and they have legions of dedicated Satanist assassins at their beck and call.
The author is Andy Borowitz. This story is fake.
Even still -- I don't doubt that if such a thing occured there would be a quote demanding the government do something. (laugh)
I wonder if this guy read "Old Yeller" when he was a kid?
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