40 Most Awesomely Bad Love Songs

vh-1/viacom ^ | 3-02-05

[sully777]

What is the most awesomely bad love song ever? The one that makes you cringe when you hear it, but you just can't turn it off. What love song makes you shake your head, roll your eyes, laugh, gag, shed a tear, or just punch something because it's so horrendously great that you love to hate it. Or is it vice versa? VH1 is counting down the 40 Most Awesomely Bad Love Songs....The kind of songs that might end a relationship rather than enhance it. You get the drift.

Join us as we count down and celebrate fantastically cheesy lyrics, the best and worst metaphors, awkward and confusing themes, and of course, those strange, misguided flukes from our favorite artists, while our team of experts help explain why we've deemed these songs so (un)worthy. We've been covering our ears, shutting off the radio, and running from the room screaming for too long. It's time to ban these songs to our awesomely bad Hall of F(Sh)ame!

[camle]

Ah! there you go "I'm not Lisa"!

[Kirkwood]

"Brand New Key" by Melanie (I've got a brand new pair of roller skates, you've got a brand new key....)

"Loving You (is easy cause you're beautiful)" by Minnie Ripperton (oooooooo--ooooooooooooo---oooooooooo!!!!!)

[Petronski]

Girl, you're a hot-blooded woman-child
And it's warm where you're touchin' me






GACK!

[SupplySider]

I remember all too well when Jimmy Carter humiliated the nation by having The Capt. and Tennile perform "Muskrat Love" at an official White House function.

Almost as funny as his frenzied defense against the killer rabbit.

[ThisLittleLightofMine]

Peaches & Herb....or something like that?

[Wristpin]

Along the same vein, don't forget "Babe" by Styx. Horrid!

[camle]

whenever we go on a motorcycle run, our little joke is to play the Monkees, and turn up the volume!

a Harley with a CD player, a good woman, gas money. who needs more?

[lafroste]

no, that's a

MEGA_GACK!!

[Diana in Wisconsin]

"Reunited" by ....I forget who. Help me out folks.

Peaches and Herb. Kill me. Just kill me now for knowing that, LOL!

I vote for "I'm All Out of Love" by Air Supply. Hell, ANY song by Air Supply. Eewwwwww!

(The Litte River Band has a few stinkers, too.)

[Diana in Wisconsin]

"Reunited" by ....I forget who. Help me out folks.

Peaches and Herb. Kill me. Just kill me now for knowing that, LOL!

I vote for "I'm All Out of Love" by Air Supply. Hell, ANY song by Air Supply. Eewwwwww!

(The Litte River Band has a few stinkers, too.)

[sully777]

Sheena Easton....My baby takes the mornin' train

---

My brother would always change the lyrics of songs. It would always crack us all up. This song's lyrics were changed. I can't repeat them here because it's a family site but I think they made my dad blush. My mom would leave the room.

So I'll use another song he changed. Replace "Sad Eyes" with "Fat Thighs"

Bee Gees
Sad Eyes

Looks like it's over
You knew I couldn't stay
She's coming home today
We've had a good thing
I'll miss your sweet love
Why must you look at me that way
It's over.....

Ohhhh
Sad eyes
Turn the other way
I don't want to see you cry
Sad eyes
You knew there'd come a day
When we would have to say goodbye

Try to remember
The magic that we shared
In time your broken heart will mend
I never used you
You knew I really cared
I hate to say it at the end
But it's over.....

Ohhhh
Sad eyes
Turn the other way
I don't want to see you cry
Sad eyes
You knew there'd come a day
When we would have to say goodbye

Sad eyes
You knew there'd come a day
When we would have to say goodbye (Ahhhhhhhh)
Sad eyes (Sad eyes)
Turn the other way (Turn the other way)
I don't want to see you cry (Cry, cry, cry)

Sad eyes (Sad eyes)
You knew there'd come a day (Hey, hey)
When we would have to say goodbye (Ohhhhhh)

fade out

[sittnick]

I nominate two:

Run Joey Run
and
Rocky (by Austin Roberts, NOT the movie theme)


Run Joey Run
David Geddes

[sung by girl who sounds like she's 13]
Daddy please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me
Daddy please don't, we're gonna get married...just you wait and see.
[sung by man who sounds like he's 30]
She called me up, late last night, she said Joe, don't come over
My dad and I just had a fight, and he stormed out the door
I've never seen him act his this way, my God, hes going crazy
He says he's gonna make you pay, for what we've done, he's got a gun, so
[backup singers:]
Run Joey Run Joey Run

[sung by girl who sounds like she's 13]
Daddy please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me
Daddy please don't, we're gonna get married...just you wait and see.
[sung by man who sounds like he's 30]
I got in my car and I drove like mad, till I reached Julie's place
She ran to me, with tears in her eyes, and bruises on her face
All at once, I saw him there, sneaking up behind me,
[girl yells]
WATCH OUT!
[Back to the 30 year old]
Then Julie yelled, he's got a gun, and she stepped in front of me
Suddenly, a shot rang out, and I saw Julie falling
I ran to her, I held her close, when I looked down, my hands were red,
and heres the last words Julie said...
[girl, softly ... expiring]
Daddy please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me
Daddy please don't, we're gonna get married.....aaahhh..ahhhh
ahhhh....ahhhhh
[backup singers]
Run Joey run Joey run Joey run Joey run Joey run

---

Austin Roberts - Rocky Lyrics

Alone until my eighteenth year
We met four springs ago
She was shy and had a fear
Of things she did not know
But we got it on together
In such a super way
We held each other close at night
And traded dreams each day

And she said,
"Rocky, I've never been in love before
Don't know if I can do it
But if you let me lean on you
Take my hand, I might get through it, through it
I said, "Baby, oh, sweet baby
It's love that sets us free
And God knows if the world should end
Your love is safe with me"

We found an old gray house
And you would not believe the way
We worked at night to fix it up
Took classes in the day
Paintin' walls and sippin' wine
Sleepin' on the floor
With so much love for just two
Soon we found there'd be one more

And she said,
"Rocky, I've never had a baby before
Don't know if I can do it
But if you let me lean on you
Take my hand, I might get through it, through it
I said, "Baby, oh, sweet baby
It's love that sets us free
And God knows if the world should end
Your love is safe with me"

We had lots of problems then
But we had lots of fun
Like the crazy party
When our baby girl turned one
I was proud and satisfied
Life had so much to give
'Til the day they told me
That she didn't have long to live

She said,
"Rocky, I've never had to die before
Don't know if I can do it..."

Now it's back to two again
The little girl and I
Who looks so much like her sweet mother
Sometimes it makes me cry
I sleep alone at nights again
I walk alone each day
And sometimes when I'm about to give in
I hear her sweet voice say, to me

"Rocky, you know you've been alone before
You know that you can do it
But if you'd like to lean on me
Take my hand, I'll help you through it, through it
I said, "Baby, oh sweet baby
It's love that sets us free
And I told you when the world would end
Your love was safe with me"

She said,
"Rocky, you know you've been alone before
You know that you can do it
But if you'd like to lean on me...

[camle]

i'll counter your "Beth" with "angie" by the stones.

[snugs]

It gets better LOL
Eleanor

[msjhall]

'I am Woman, hear me roar!'

I sing it: I am Woman, hear me blab

[1066AD]

Well they did all get together the other week for the opening of "Mama Mia" in Stockholm but didn't sing.

[parcel_of_rogues]

Mandy....

Well you came and you gave without taking
but I sent you away, oh Mandy
well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy

[small_l_libertarian]

"Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)" by Looking Glass

Awesomely awful choice! I hate it, but I can't help but sing along.

What a good wife you would be (Such a fine girl), but my life, my love and my lady is the seeeeeeaaaaa.

[Moose4]

Good song, but the Rolling Stones did it first and better...

And you can
Send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flowers by the mail
Send me dead flowers at my wedding
And I won't forget to put roses on your grave

}:-)4

[chief_bigfoot]

Earworm, LOL. I used to drive a coworker crazy by calling and singing the Almond Joy jingle and then hang up. They would be stuck with it for the day....heh heh

I googled this up, but it says to name the song if you want to get rid of it....

The Germans use the word Ohrwurm (rhymes with "door worm," where the "w" is pronounced like a "v") to denote these cognitively infectious musical agents. Whenever somebody complains to you that he just can't keep the latest pop tune from running through his head, tell him he can dispel it by calling it by name and by thinking about the original German meaning, which captures some of the mnemonicalli parasitical connotations of the word, for Ohrwurm literally means "ear worm" and is also used to refer to a kind of worm that can crawl into the ear.
—Howard Rheingold, "Untranslatable words," The Whole Earth Review, December 22, 1987