IS AMANDA MONTI . . . . . IS GEOFFREY JONES
THE FULL MONTI
SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT
Posted on 01/11/2005 8:09:02 PM PST by NYC GOP Chick
By SUN ONLINE REPORTER
A WOMAN today admitted ripping off her ex-boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands after he refused to have sex with her.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage after her ex-lover, 37-year-old Geoffrey Jones, rejected her advances at the end of a drunken house party.
She yanked off his left testicle, which was later handed to him by a friend with the words: "That’s yours."
Monti, of Birkenhead, Merseyside, pleaded guilty to wounding at Liverpool Crown Court today and will be sentenced next month.
The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term relationship with Monti towards the end of May last year.
The pair remained on good terms and on May 30, Monti offered to collect Mr Jones from a barbecue and drive him to his home in Netherton, Merseyside. She then drove him to another party and then home again, where friends joined them for more drinks.
As the drinks party was winding down, Monti told Mr Jones she wanted to discuss their relationship and offered him sex.
When he refused, she grabbed his face and a struggle ensued.
Mr Jones threw petite Monti, who is little more than 5ft 2ins tall, out of the house. She then smashed a window and confronted him on the doorstep as he went to investigate.
Another struggle took place and Monti was knocked to the floor, from where she pulled down Mr Jones’ shorts.
In a statement read out by judge Charles James, Mr Jones continued: "I was left standing in my underpants. She was still lying on the floor.
"Suddenly she grabbed my genitals and pulled hard. That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain."
Referring to his friend Danny McDonagh, who was sleeping at the house after the party, Mr Jones said: "I believe Danny walked out shortly afterwards. He came into the kitchen and said to me, 'That’s yours', and I saw that he was holding one of my testicles in his hand."
Monti initially tried to hide the testicle by putting it in her mouth, but released it. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.
Defence barrister Wendy Lloyd said her client did not remember much of the incident. However, she accepted the prosecution’s version of events and did not claim to have acted in self-defence.
Monti, who spoke only to confirm her name and enter a guilty plea, was released on conditional bail for sentence on February 10.
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I might laugh if I knew the body (so to speak) of the joke. Kind of difficult to laugh at a punchline!
Try this one - "But the cheap b*stard in the fur coat paid me nothing!"
Yeah, I got a chuckle out of that one.
THE FULL MONTI
SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT
I wonder how funny people would think this was if it was a man who ripped a woman's nipple off...
MONTI "TYSON"
AND THE HOLEY MALE
Those were called Rocky Mountain oysters when I was a lad.
"THE FULL MONTI
SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT"
LOL -- her full name must be:
Amanda Joy Monti
Maybe next time he will ask for a raincheck.
That's just....WRONG.
This kind of behavior is probably the reason he broke up with her to begin with!
Hopefully he will pass the "erotic dance test" again soon:
For now, though, I'm betting that he's not to keen on females in general.
Of course, if this guy had - in self defense (as evidenced by contusions and bruising) - stopped her by, say, stuffing his thumb into her eye socket, They'd put him *under* the jail. Released on bail? Sheeee-it.
Half your testicles are belong to us.
oh wow, that's good! :-)
Good sleuthing. What clued you in?
Are you trying to tell me something?
She should have given him Orchids!
A testicle removal is called a radical orchidectomy.
I know, it happened to me.
BUT NOT this radically!
He should have kept his eye on the ate ball.
Can't believe no one came up with that.
Yes --- it's the way the story is written that makes it pretty funny --- maybe that British way with understatement or something. His friend just happens to come across the testicle, picks it up and hands it over to him, and the girlfriend just pops it into her mouth to hide it? No one's shrieking or hysterical as the events took place?
That woman had some balls - unlike her boyfriend.
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