Posted on 01/10/2005 11:15:03 AM PST by Momaw Nadon
ARLINGTON -- On a spring day, Susan Lawrence was flipping through a magazine, Home School Digest, when she came across an advertisement that took her breath away. In it, ''The Rod," a $5 flexible whipping stick, was described as the ''ideal tool for child training."
''Spoons are for cooking, belts are for holding up pants, hands are for loving, and rods are for chastening," read the advertisement she saw nearly two years ago for the 22-inch nylon rod. It also cited a biblical passage, which instructs parents not to spare the ''rod of correction."
The ad shocked Lawrence, a Lutheran who home-schools her children and opposes corporal punishment. She began a national campaign to stop what she sees as the misuse of the Bible as a justification for striking children. She also asked the federal government to deem The Rod hazardous to children, and ban the sale of all products designed for spanking. Lawrence says striking children violates the Golden Rule from the Gospel of Matthew in the New Testament: ''In everything do to others as you would have them do to you."
(Excerpt) Read more at boston.com ...
Speak for yourself, lady. My folks whipped my ass with a yardstick when I did wrong, and I'm glad they did, as I was a willful and wicked little brat. I turned out pretty good thanks to their loving correction.
-ccm
You're failing to differentiate between beating and spanking. A beating is when the adult is out of control with anger and takes it out on the child, often physicall injuring the child. I agree that there is absolutely no excuse for that.
A spanking is reserved for punishment for a specified infraction. In our case, we give the child the option to change their behaviour forst with words and other types of reinforcement. If the child continues to rebel, it escalates to a spanking. Usually one whack, and most often not with much momentum. (per #30, I tried it out on myself first to note the amount of pain produced. It took a lot to make it hurt. It would take absolute abuse to bruise or draw blood)
The other reason for a spank is to reinforce safety. If a child continually runs into the street and telling him to spop doesn't work, a loving parent will reinforce those words with a small amount of pain.
Using a specific, purpose built object, instead of a hand allows the child to fear the object rather than the parent.
Still care to turn me in to the socialist workers?
I agree ... I find something vaguely unsettling about the whole business. To have a special purpose tool designed explicitly for punishment strikes me as indicative of an attitude more appropriate to a prison guard than a father or mother.
Masochist: "Hit me! Hit me"
sadist: "he he -- No"
>>Who said that I do not or have not diciplined my kids? I only said that I never spanked them.<<
At certain ages, which depends on the child, discipline REQUIRES some physical punishment. You can't reason with a child, and they must learn that certain behavior results in physical pain. (When I was a kid, I had a friend who likely was never spanked, but I swear to you, he never misbehaved. EVER.)
It is incredibly difficult to physically punish kids, but in my view, it is 100% necessary. A parent must guard against anger, obviously, but shouldn't let that fear dictate that kids aren't punished for misbehavior. I speak as a very disciplined person! My dad went overboard a few times in anger, but it was probably better than the opposite result.
There were likely other causes of your misbehavior as a child. I suspect you haven't told the entire story, but even if you have, nothing is absolute. I have 2 (older) sisters who were raised similarly to me but with less physical punishment, and both had a more difficult time between the ages of 18-30 than I did, in terms of immaturity. No lawlessness, but painful actions, nonetheless. I can also give you numerous examples to suggest that your experience is likely very different than the norm.
It is still my opinion that you will likely regret your actions, even in a small way, but I'm also going to conceed that different people have different experiences and your's indeed may be different. And I certainly wouldn't dare try and tell you how to raise your children, but I will offer my opinion based on a statement you made.
"To have a special purpose tool designed explicitly for punishment strikes me as indicative of an attitude more appropriate to a prison guard than a father or mother.
"
That's my sense of it, too. Looking at the device, it's clearly a small whip. I know that people have used switches and the like to discipline children, although I disagree with that as well. I can see no need for anything other than the palm of the hand applied smartly to the buttocks.
To actually purchase such a device, to me, appears to indicate that the parent is planning to need it. Altogether too convenient, in my opinion.
I know this. A kid coming to the attention of a cop or emergency room personnel with welts from this device on their buttocks and legs is going to get some serious attention, and the parents will be answering some questions.
Parents tempted to use such devices should think very carefully before doing so. Nobody ever got in trouble for simply spanking their child, but the legal line is very unclear when it comes to using objects to strike a child.
Disciplining a child should leave no marks.
Uh, I'm happy that my father spanked me. Plenty of other people I know were happy they were spanked, too. Spanking children when they are bad is doing to others as I would have others do to me. In fact, the Golden Rule only really works if "what you would have them to do you" isn't indulging your bad behavior.
"Uh, I'm happy that my father spanked me."
My father spanked me, too, and I was in no way harmed by that. He did not, however, use a whip on me. This is about "The Rod," not spanking.
Well, I think you're getting posters confused...
I haven't confused spanking with beating at all - in fact I pointed out the difference in another post. Nor have I said anything about turning anyone in. For me to do that would depend on a lot of other factors.
I did question the claim that it was a gentler implement. The simple physical characteristics of this makes it harder on tissue with all other things being equal.
I don't think it is disputable that a thin nylon rod like this - or a cane or crop - is more likely to break skin and bruise when applied with the same amount of speed and pressure as a paddle or hand.
No, this is about spanking, too. The author of this article is talking about "the Rod" but also about spanking.
Yea, I was kind of more responding to the godless athiest (Department of redundancy department)
Actually, this thing causes a little bit of localized pain but does not break skin or anything else. It's very lightweight. I've had opportunity to meet my shop teacher's paddle and that this, using similar force would lift a kid off the ground just due to mass and velocity. The rod is much more humane and less painful.
It's actually quite flexible, unlike a cane. It sounds and looks far worse than it is. Like I said, I used it on myself. The swat's my kids get are more for effect than pain and it's extremely rare.
Thanks.
Toughest job in the world: being a good parent.
Most important job in the world: being a good parent.
"I would love to see whether any psychological study has ever been done to confirm that systematic spanking does escalate to beating? "
I worked in domestic violence for several years and perused that literature up till a few years ago. There was never any evidence that spanking of children as a disciplinary tactic was related to child abuse or any other violence.
That doesn't mean that in any given case a spanking parent couldn't become abusive also, but it is not a risk factor.
Would I use something like this device? Probably not. And it probably does cross my personal line of what's appropriate. But I also think it's incredibly dangerous to mandate what the exact line should be, so long as a parent isn't clearly abusing their child. It foolish to try to set a "one size fits all" policy toward raising children because discipling a child is a lot like the old George Carlin routine about driving (anyone who drives faster than you is a maniac and anyone who drives slower than you is a moron). Anyone who disciplines a child more than you would will seem like the are abusing their child and anyone who disciplines their child less than you would will seem like they are being too soft. That's why I think we need to leave this up to individual parents.
Does this device go further than I would? Yes. Can I see good parents using something like this and raising good kids? Yes. Just because it might be abused it no reason to ban it. Apply your own gun control analogy as necessary.
Do some web searches on spaning and Canada (I'd suggest adding a "-sex" qualifier to any Google searches if you wnat useful results) if you want more info.
It sounds like you are very sparing and careful with it - and having tested it, you wouldn't ever hit hard enough to bruise or break the skin. So I guess, under those circumstances, I see no need for me to turn ya in. ; )
So, so very true.
Spanking involves whacking the child on the rear end with an open hand. The liberal Lutheran opposing "The Rod" is wrong to conflate the two. To even call it "spanking" is ridiculous. However, hitting a child with an object like this is child abuse.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.