WORST HOLIDAY SONGS (Streisand at #4, just behind the "Jingle Bells" dogs)

NY Post ^ | December 7, 2004 | JOHN MAINELLI

[presidio9]

EVER been driven up the chimney by a Christmas song that you really, really hate? New Jersey researchers have named the six worst Christmas songs of all time, as picked by holiday-music fans who were asked to rate more than 600 yule tunes.

The biggest lump of coal goes to "O Holy Night" as sung by the foul-mouthed Cartman from "South Park," according to Edison Media Research.

Close behind are Seymour Swine & the Squealers' butchered "Blue Christmas," "Jingle Bells" by The Singing Dogs and, separately, Barbra Streisand — and "12 Days of Guido Christmas" by the Ha Ya Doin' Boys.

"We play — very lightly — the Barbra Streisand version of 'Jingle Bells' because she's got a following in New York," says Jim Ryan, programmer of top-rated Lite FM (WLTW/106.7).

"People tend not to like it because it's a really fast, up-tempo version of 'Jingle Bells' — almost like she did it as a goof," Ryan told The Post.

WPLJ (95.5 FM) music director Tony Mascaro says his research turned up a sixth song that listeners can't stand: Elmo & Patsy's "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer."

[Tuxedo]

Alone Again Naturally..one of those songs you play when you want to start the car, close the garage door tighly, and slip into eternity listening to... along those lines you also have "Seasons in the Sun" and "All By Myself". Who writes that stuff anyway?

[Steve_Seattle]

"Alone Again Naturally..one of those songs you play when you want to start the car, close the garage door tighly, and slip into eternity listening to... along those lines you also have "Seasons in the Sun" and "All By Myself".

But the all-time suicide song was probably Peggy Lee's "Is That All There Is?" . . . even though she explicitly disavows suicide at the end, e.g., " . . . but oh, no, I'm not ready for that final disappointment."

[VRWCmember]

Baby, It's Cold Outside (not really a Christmas song, either)

But only if it's the Johnny Mercer and Barbara Whiting(?) rendition. All other renditions should be obliterated from public memory.

[tang-soo]

I know it's not a song, but I've always enjoyed Hudson and Landry's "Frontier Christmas". One station here in COlumbus, Ohio still has the nerve to play it.

[Steve_Seattle]

Stairway To Heaven

It's never been one of my favorites, but at least I can understand why others like it. The lyrics are actually pretty intelligent.

[Steve_Seattle]

"But only if it's the Johnny Mercer and Barbara Whiting(?) rendition. All other renditions [of "Baby, It's Cold Outside"] should be obliterated from public memory."

I've not heard that version; I'm only familiar with the Ray Charles and Steve Tyrell versions, both done as duets with female singers whose names I don't recall.

[Petronski]

Hear hear!

[Petronski]

Baby I'm A Want You

That's beyond the pale. You've gone too far this time.

[Petronski]

Baby, i’m-a want you
Baby, i’m-a need you
You the only one I care enough to hurt about
Maybe i’m-a crazy
But I just can’t live without...

Your lovin’ and affection
Givin’ me direction
Like a guiding light to help me through a darkest hour
Lately I’m a-prayin’
That you’ll always be a-stayin’ beside me

Used to be my life was just emotions passing by
Feeling all the while and never really knowing why...

Lately I’m a-prayin’
That you’ll always be a-stayin’ beside me.

Used to be my life was just emotions passing by
Then you came along and made me laugh
And made me cry...
You taught me why...

Baby, i’m-a want you
Baby, i’m-a need you

Oh, it took so long to find you, baby

Baby, i’m-a want you
Baby, i’m-a need you

[SaveTheChief]

But Cartman's "Come Sail Away" is brilliant!

[pikachu]

Re Hippo song: years ago I was in the car with the wife and kids trying to remember rare Christmas songs. I started the Hippo song and my wife said I was making it up. A second later the local oldies station started playing that song. Wife still thinks I rigged that somehow.

Thanks!

[Hoodlum91]

I think that's it. It's been a while since I've heard it.

They do repeat "he's a drunken SOB" in a nice harmony at the end!!

[VRWCmember]

But only if it's the Johnny Mercer and Barbara Margaret Whiting rendition ...

I always get her name mixed up. It's Margaret Whiting that sang the duet with Johnny Mercer in the definitive version of this song.

[Steve_Seattle]

The prisoners at Gitmo should have been forced to listen to 8 consecutive hours of "Baby I'm A Want You." That would have cracked the hardest nut.

[Petronski]

Mercer and Whiting was what I remembered. It is the definitive version, bar none.

[Zionist Conspirator]

I'm late but I'll put in my two cents' worth as well.

Alouette, if you can listen to Handel's Messiah then I'm gonna stop apologizing for having the Armenian badarak downloaded on my computer.

I like the McCartney song. Please let me live!

I like those miserable songs like Alone Again Naturally, Is That All There Is, and Red Sovine (though I've never heard of the one where the kid cashes in his chips on Santa's lap; sounds positively Eugene Field).

Most "chr*stmas" songs are actually winter songs. Stuff like Jingle Bells, Winter Wonderland, Frosty the Snowman, etc. *could* be played all winter long, but on december 26 it all stops. I'm surprised Anne Murray's Snowbird (which I also like) isn't confined to the month between Thanksgiving and chr*stmas. (PS: The Old Captain Kangaroo show used to still play winter stuff like Mr. Snowman throughout the winter season.)

I love the Carpenters!

Some of you have posted some--ahem--interesting lyrics. I wish I'd heard some of them!

And while we're on the gloom and doom department, who can forget:

"Father celebrating chr*stmas
With a bottle full of rum
While his children wait for presents
That they know will never come."

[StoneColdTaxHater]

Cartman's "Swiss Colony Beef Log" song ROCKS

[Nowhere Man]

Good thing you taped it. It is only a matter of time before that scene gets cut from the original.

I remember when I was in grade school, when Christmas came close, we let up a bit and watch some Christmas specials on a Sony 1 inch format video tape recorder (reel-to-reel) hooked up to a 1960's 21 inch, vacuum-tubed, Setchell-Carlson TV specially made for schools. Ome of those specials was "Chatlie Brown's Christmas" and everything was included, even the reference in the Bible. Of course the PC Crowd handn't gotten its tenticles too deep into the schools at that time, I'm talking 1972-79 when I was in the grade school system counting the transitional pre-1st grade I was in being held back a year. Crap, Michael Newdow would go ape-crazy over it.



Was bumming around the net, this was the TV we watched it on in my school days, I remember the teachers always put the TV on "standby" to keep the tubes warm.

[Nowhere Man]

I agree 1000%! It doesnt feel like the Christmas season until I have seen it. I have been playing the soundtrack all the time since I (finally) got it. Guaraldi had a knack for capturing a mood.

Guaraldi is a real talent, I enjoy his musical scores for Charlie Brown all the time. I like the jazzy sound to the music.