Posted on 12/08/2004 8:50:15 AM PST by presidio9
EVER been driven up the chimney by a Christmas song that you really, really hate? New Jersey researchers have named the six worst Christmas songs of all time, as picked by holiday-music fans who were asked to rate more than 600 yule tunes.
The biggest lump of coal goes to "O Holy Night" as sung by the foul-mouthed Cartman from "South Park," according to Edison Media Research.
Close behind are Seymour Swine & the Squealers' butchered "Blue Christmas," "Jingle Bells" by The Singing Dogs and, separately, Barbra Streisand — and "12 Days of Guido Christmas" by the Ha Ya Doin' Boys.
"We play — very lightly — the Barbra Streisand version of 'Jingle Bells' because she's got a following in New York," says Jim Ryan, programmer of top-rated Lite FM (WLTW/106.7).
"People tend not to like it because it's a really fast, up-tempo version of 'Jingle Bells' — almost like she did it as a goof," Ryan told The Post.
WPLJ (95.5 FM) music director Tony Mascaro says his research turned up a sixth song that listeners can't stand: Elmo & Patsy's "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer."
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
A couple of years ago, a friend loaned me a CD of Willaim Burroughs reading a Christmas story about junkies; boy was THAT depressing.
Aw, I love that song!
"Most of '81 passed along those lines..."
I provided guitar accompaniment for the lead singer in our church last Easter on He's Alive and couldn't see through the tears - gives me the chills when I listen to the CD...
I seem to recall a book came out a couple of years ago about the making of "A Charlie Brown Christmas," and it said that even back in the 1960s, the network executives tried to get Charles Schulz to drop that segment with the Biblical quote, and he absolutely refused and fought them tooth and nail to get it in. As much as they've butchered that show with editing over the years to jam in more commercials, I'm amazed they haven't cut out that part, too, or maybe just dubbed in new audio of Linus saying that the true meaning of Christmas is to support the good folks at Wal-Mart.
I've been known to leap over couches ala Superman just to turn off the radio "Blue Christmas" by Elvis comes on. I'll listen to just about ANYTHING other than that...
Oh, and Bruce Springsteen's groan-and-moan version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."
There's not enough eggnog on the planet to make me suffer with those two.
Personally I thought that the "Lennon/McCartney" works were all overrated, because while there were good things there, they needed to be brought out by a master producer, and that's where George Martin came in (althought I also think that George Harrison was vastly underrated). I believe that all the best work by the Beatles was a 3 way collaboration. Where the sum of the two was improved a hundred fold by George Martin.
Mark
My favorite SP Christmas song:
It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas.
My friends wont let me join in any games.
And I cant sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree
Or leave water out for Rudolph
`Cause there's something wrong with me.
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity.
I'm a Jew,
A lonely Jew
On Christmas.
Hanukkah is nice but why is it
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating ham I have to eat kosher latkes
Instead of Silent Night I'm singing
Hoo Hact Toh Gaveesh
And what the @#$# is up with lighting all these
#$#@ing candles please?
I'm a Jew,
A lonely Jew
I can't be merry
`Cause I'm Hebrew
On Christmas.
I think a lot of the later Beatle stuff was pretentious, but a lot of the earlier stuff is still fun even if the lyrics are somewhat dated. The chord progression on "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" is fun to play, especially the change between two minor chords on the word "hand." And the "yeah/yeah" call-and-response on "It Won't Be Long" is a kick. And "Ticket To Ride" has that lovely off-beat drumming in it. Lots of fun stuff in those early Beatle tunes . . .
One of Martin's innovations was to start off songs with the chorus, as in "She Loves You," "Can't Buy me Love," and "Tell Me Why." That technique grabbed you right from the start.
OK..I'll do it myself:
http://www.doghause.com/sounds/dogjingl.wav
Brutal. I'd say "unbelievable" but the liberal mindset causes the most unbelievable outrages to be fully believable.
Don't know if you like screaming guitars, but Gary Hoey's Christmas albums rock. He does an awesome version of the Linus and Lucy song from "A Charlie Brown Christmas."
I'm not familiar with those last three, but I'll keep an ear out for them=)
Another song I crank up anytime it comes on is Elvis doing 'Blue Christmas'.
Mega gags also have to include Bruce Springsteen's Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town... just nasty. Also, add in any version of 12 Days of Christmas, Santa Baby, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, and the Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting). And the grand honor to the Carpenters Merry Christmas Darling... so overplayed I need a barf bag.
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