WORST HOLIDAY SONGS (Streisand at #4, just behind the "Jingle Bells" dogs)

NY Post ^ | December 7, 2004 | JOHN MAINELLI

[presidio9]

EVER been driven up the chimney by a Christmas song that you really, really hate? New Jersey researchers have named the six worst Christmas songs of all time, as picked by holiday-music fans who were asked to rate more than 600 yule tunes.

The biggest lump of coal goes to "O Holy Night" as sung by the foul-mouthed Cartman from "South Park," according to Edison Media Research.

Close behind are Seymour Swine & the Squealers' butchered "Blue Christmas," "Jingle Bells" by The Singing Dogs and, separately, Barbra Streisand — and "12 Days of Guido Christmas" by the Ha Ya Doin' Boys.

"We play — very lightly — the Barbra Streisand version of 'Jingle Bells' because she's got a following in New York," says Jim Ryan, programmer of top-rated Lite FM (WLTW/106.7).

"People tend not to like it because it's a really fast, up-tempo version of 'Jingle Bells' — almost like she did it as a goof," Ryan told The Post.

WPLJ (95.5 FM) music director Tony Mascaro says his research turned up a sixth song that listeners can't stand: Elmo & Patsy's "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer."

[Aquinasfan]

Also, she was part of that international, left-wing, avant-garde artsy crowd that Lennon always wanted to be part of.

I saw a clip from an old Mike Douglas show where John and Yoko appeared. John introduced a clip from Yoko's latest video. It was a closeup of a fly walking all over someone's body. I think it had Yoko making fly noises too. Really.

Amazingly, Mike did the polite nod thing and everyone in the audience applauded.

[ssaftler]

"Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" and "Nuttin for Christmas" top my list of nauseating Christmas songs.

Where's your spirit of a FUN time at Rama-hanu-kwanz-mas? Those are classics! And it wouldn't be the "holiday season" without a rousing rendition of "Walking 'round in Women's Underwear"

[Richard Kimball]

You b*st*rd. It's stuck in my head now. All right. You asked for it:

Horse with no name
Me and you and a dog named Boo
Knock three times
Yummy yummy yummy, I got love in my tummy
It's a small world, after all
Sugar, Sugar
Mock-yeah-ing-yeah-bird-yeah-yeah-yeah, Mockingbird, tell me everybody have you heard...

And just in case you ever think of doing that again, I'll send you ALL the words to MacArthur Park.

[NotJustAnotherPrettyFace]

It's not the SONGS that are the problem, it's the PERFORMERS' RENDITIONS of them that are awful!

[ssaftler]

I agree about Linus' speech. It blows me away every time.

Boy, I'm surprised the ACLU didn't try to get it banned from TV. It mentioned that "G" word, didn't it???

[PleaseNoMore]

"He's Alive" is the only song Dolly has ever done worth listening to.

[MitchellC]

People like to rip on "Ob la Di Ob La Di," but listened to within the context of the album, coming off of Glass Onion, it kind of rocks.

"Bungalow Bill" - now THERE is some crap...

[macamadamia]

"You b*st*rd. It's stuck in my head now."


Honey
by Bobby Goldsboro

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

[ssaftler]

Forgot one other favorite, Tom Lehrer's "Christmas Carol", wherein he fractures about half a dozen "standards" in one 5 minute barrage, as only he can do...

[NotJustAnotherPrettyFace]

A very short clip of your least favorite song just to yank your chain ;-)

[Richard Kimball]

I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door, that's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too

Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian

There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage
I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes to see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuseses
And hippopotamuses like me too!

[Steve_Seattle]

Afternoon Delight
Baby I'm A Want You
Alone Again, Naturally


Three all-time barf alerts.

[Richard Kimball]

Wow. I'd forgotten them. Thanks so much for reminding me about them.

Disco Duck.

[Steve_Seattle]

"I saw a clip from an old Mike Douglas show where John and Yoko appeared."

A few years ago, I saw her on a talk show, I forget which one, and she was actually rather charming and pleasant. I don't know how she is in real life, but she acquitted herself pretty well on TV.

[HHFi]

190+ posts and nobody has yet mentioned Red Sobine (sp?) He reads to music the worlds most depressing Christmas story. Synopsis: A very poor child from a broken home, who has been constanly told how worthless he is, tells Santa his story, asks Santa to ask Jesus if the boy can look in to heaven. And then the boy dies in Santa's lap...

If you ever want to hear the funniest parody ever of those awful Red Sovine tearjerking narrative songs, hunt up a copy of the obscure "Y-Tel Presents" album by Shad O'Shea and listen to "Big Mac and Tiny Tim." I actually hurt myself laughing at the punch line of that one the first time I heard it.

[NotJustAnotherPrettyFace]

Actually I really like that version of Jingle Bells. It's an AWESOME arrangement by Marty Paich.

And if you want to hear Streisand sing even FASTER, listen to her do The Minute Waltz! Following her breathing is worth at least one listen.

Lyrics found here

[Steve_Seattle]

"OTOH, I love Chuck Berry's "Run, Run, Rudolph."

Berry had a great sense of humor; one of my favorites is a song about his extravagent new auromobile, but I'll be damned if I can remember the title right now. I haven't heard it in several years.

[MrLee]

The Moody Blues released a Christmas album last year that is really nice. Tiny Tim released one several years ago that's "interesting".

[StoneColdTaxHater]

The worst and I mean WORST is "Christmas Rapping" by The Waitresses. I can change the station fast enough

[Dont Mention the War]

The biggest lump of coal goes to "O Holy Night" as sung by the foul-mouthed Cartman from "South Park," according to Edison Media Research.

This is a MUCH BETTER South Park Christmas song..