Posted on 12/08/2004 8:50:15 AM PST by presidio9
EVER been driven up the chimney by a Christmas song that you really, really hate? New Jersey researchers have named the six worst Christmas songs of all time, as picked by holiday-music fans who were asked to rate more than 600 yule tunes.
The biggest lump of coal goes to "O Holy Night" as sung by the foul-mouthed Cartman from "South Park," according to Edison Media Research.
Close behind are Seymour Swine & the Squealers' butchered "Blue Christmas," "Jingle Bells" by The Singing Dogs and, separately, Barbra Streisand and "12 Days of Guido Christmas" by the Ha Ya Doin' Boys.
"We play very lightly the Barbra Streisand version of 'Jingle Bells' because she's got a following in New York," says Jim Ryan, programmer of top-rated Lite FM (WLTW/106.7).
"People tend not to like it because it's a really fast, up-tempo version of 'Jingle Bells' almost like she did it as a goof," Ryan told The Post.
WPLJ (95.5 FM) music director Tony Mascaro says his research turned up a sixth song that listeners can't stand: Elmo & Patsy's "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer."
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
I saw a clip from an old Mike Douglas show where John and Yoko appeared. John introduced a clip from Yoko's latest video. It was a closeup of a fly walking all over someone's body. I think it had Yoko making fly noises too. Really.
Amazingly, Mike did the polite nod thing and everyone in the audience applauded.
Where's your spirit of a FUN time at Rama-hanu-kwanz-mas? Those are classics! And it wouldn't be the "holiday season" without a rousing rendition of "Walking 'round in Women's Underwear"
Horse with no name
Me and you and a dog named Boo
Knock three times
Yummy yummy yummy, I got love in my tummy
It's a small world, after all
Sugar, Sugar
Mock-yeah-ing-yeah-bird-yeah-yeah-yeah, Mockingbird, tell me everybody have you heard...
And just in case you ever think of doing that again, I'll send you ALL the words to MacArthur Park.
It's not the SONGS that are the problem, it's the PERFORMERS' RENDITIONS of them that are awful!
Boy, I'm surprised the ACLU didn't try to get it banned from TV. It mentioned that "G" word, didn't it???
"He's Alive" is the only song Dolly has ever done worth listening to.
People like to rip on "Ob la Di Ob La Di," but listened to within the context of the album, coming off of Glass Onion, it kind of rocks.
"Bungalow Bill" - now THERE is some crap...
"You b*st*rd. It's stuck in my head now."
Honey
by Bobby Goldsboro
(Sorry, couldn't resist.)
Forgot one other favorite, Tom Lehrer's "Christmas Carol", wherein he fractures about half a dozen "standards" in one 5 minute barrage, as only he can do...
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door, that's the easy thing to do
I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too
Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian
There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage
I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes to see a hippo hero standing there
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuseses
And hippopotamuses like me too!
Disco Duck.
If you ever want to hear the funniest parody ever of those awful Red Sovine tearjerking narrative songs, hunt up a copy of the obscure "Y-Tel Presents" album by Shad O'Shea and listen to "Big Mac and Tiny Tim." I actually hurt myself laughing at the punch line of that one the first time I heard it.
And if you want to hear Streisand sing even FASTER, listen to her do The Minute Waltz! Following her breathing is worth at least one listen.
Lyrics found here
The Moody Blues released a Christmas album last year that is really nice. Tiny Tim released one several years ago that's "interesting".
The worst and I mean WORST is "Christmas Rapping" by The Waitresses. I can change the station fast enough
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