Morford: We Are All Dubya's Doormat

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, November 10, 2004 | Mark Morford, becoming increasinly more irrelevant by the minute

[presidio9]

This just in: Millions of moderate Republicans and gay-terrified evangelical Christians and intellectually numbed conservative parents who thought they were doing some sort of good by blindly voting for Dubya and hence protecting their wee ones from swarthy Islamic evildoers who want to steal their kids' Kraft Lunchables and nuke Disneyland, all should be emerging from a deep fog of savage denial any minute now. Wake, they will, to the increasingly obvious fact that their beloved smirkin' president, the one who seemed to care about them so deeply just a couple weeks ago and who reached out to them and promised them the gun-happy gay-unfriendly moon in exchange for full access to their civil rights and a blank check to do whatever the hell he likes, he apparently doesn't give a damn about them. Not anymore.

The truth will soon be hitting much of the conservative nation like a redneck smacks a dog: Now that the fear-saturated red states have handed this failed oilman four more unrestrained years to do his dirtiest deeds and a deeply contaminated, well-greased congress to do it with, he no longer needs their support and he couldn't care less about their "moral values" or their positions on Social Security reform or the war in Iraq or just what the hell he meant about spending the "political capital" he claims he's earned by winning the election by the slimmest margin of any incumbent president in history.

Oh, sure, Bush reached out, didn't he, Mrs. Moderate Republican? He made you a believer. He promised more intolerance for gays and more Bible classes in the White House and more laughably irresponsible tax breaks you don't really need and more dumbed-down, black-and-white, good-versus-evil perspectives that take all the pressure off of having to, you know, think.

And because

[Tijeras_Slim]

And you get to decide what I do and don't need?

Don't go there, Zack... :)

[Chad Fairbanks]

But I don't want to move to Oakland.

[najida]

What tolerance, what diversity, what an A$$**&^... Hey punk SF'er, bring your little fairy A$$ over here to Virginia so this "redneck" can wring it... My Lord, these are people who want to run our nation???

So now we're animal abusers too!?! The three worst cities for animal abuse are in BLUE states. Geez louise, this is getting downright psychotic.

[TheBigB]

We have now officially reached Schadenfreude level six...

[OpusatFR]

You think his hair caught on fire while typing?

[macbee]

Wake, they will, to the increasingly obvious fact...

Too much "Star Wars", someone watching has been.

[FastCoyote]

"Amyl nitrate, viagra and word processors don't mix."

I'm thinkin, git me one of them dart guns with the BIG tranquilizer needles, cause we's got a rabid circus elephant running through the town.

[sarasotarepublican]

When Fallujah is liberated, San Francisco should be next !

AMEN! It couldn't happen fast enough.

[Eric in the Ozarks]

If the writer is unhappy, that'd be my perscription.

[Prime Choice]

The truth will soon be hitting much of the conservative nation like a redneck smacks a dog:

Gay angst. It'd be funny if it wasn't so lame.

[Chad Fairbanks]

Ahhh... Ok. ;0)

[auboy]

Just wondering. Do straitjackets come in pink?

[N. Theknow]

Obviously, Ms. Morford struck out at the bath house last night and is suffering withdrawal.

Cheer up, Morfie, maybe Arafat will be buried with his butt sticking out of the ground so you can drop by for a cold one.

[badgerlandjim]

Hey Morford, you're gonna have to talk nicer than that to be successful in your effort to be accepted as some rich Republican's slap-around bitch.

[zoso82t]

How does this guy keep a job? He's a terrible writer, not to mention his demented line of thinking.

[Mr. Jeeves]

I really hope Morford's career takes off. I'd love to see his work on the front page of the New York Times.

The Democrats would never win another national election in our lifetimes. ;)

[RockinRight]

More crap from San Fransisco...

Morfordite alert!

[drc43]

From a person that worships having Judges order legislatures to make laws walking all over us, and a law breaking mayor giving gays what ever they want?

[TC Rider]

On the Missy Mordred particulate/vagina rating system, today's screed is rated as a #3 coarse.

[Alex Murphy]

Morford need to learn the meaning of this phrase = REPRESENTATIVE GOVERNMENT.