Posted on 11/05/2004 11:52:42 AM PST by iheartusa
There is an unspoken taboo in our society where if you admit that having kids wasn't quite what you thought it would be and that if you could do it all over again that you would have chosen NOT to have kids, that you are a monster, an evil, despicable monster. The truth is a large percentage of parents HATE being parents. They will never say it out loud and they can't even admit that to themselves because "only an evil demon" would come to that conclusion, they think. However, underneath it all, underneath all the B.S. is the truth that we all know: Children are overrated. For every precious moment where the little brat does something special, there are 1,000 moments where they drive you crazy. They literally tear your life upside down. Marriage, sex life, your wives appearance, your social life, the list goes on and on and on. Oh yeah, the worst part is yet to come - the teenage years. I could write volumes on this subject. The reason people have children is because of this unwritten societal norm where the standard is to get married and immediately begin to produce offspring because "that's the thing to do". Here's another fact for you if you're interested in the subject: the highest points of martial satisfaction are: 1) after the kids leave and 2) before the kids were born. Look it up, it's true.
I decided not to have kids or a wife... And haven't regretted it one bit!!! I look at all my sorry faced friends straining to make ends meet, having the endless honey do lists, soccer games, Dr bills, bitching, whinny little brats, debt up their asses!!.....and me....well I focused on work and saving money and have no debt, date all different kinds of women, no strings attached, buying a brand new custom house that my friends and family can only dream about, and will be able to retire at 45..... Yea, I may grow up old and have no one but look....most of you will be divorced and so broke after raising kids, alimony, child support, kids college...that you will have nothing to show for it when you are 65 and still have to work till your are dead......sorry thats reality. My relatives have given up asking. They know better. Then someone always pulls me aside and says, "I would love to have your life".
I think most people end up having kids because 1) They're too stupid to know how to use birth control properly and/or 2) They have an idealistic, completely unrealistic vision of what parenthood entails. People imagine dressing their daughter in pretty clothes, or playing catch with their son. They don't think about being awoken at 2 a.m. by a sick, screaming kid who just threw up all over the bed, and who doesn't give a shit that you have to get up for work in four hours. They don't think about the mortgage company threatening to foreclose, or the electricity being shut off, because the husband can't pay all the bills on one income. More people should think about these things, and fewer people should be having children. Parenthood should be left to those few couples who are willing to take the good with the bad.
NoMarriage.com manual will help you determine if you are ready and want to have children in the near future.
Way back when I was making such decisions . . .
1) I though the Chinese had enough children and that I didn't need to help them.
2) I preferred and prefer to help those already here have a better life.
3) I wasn't about to have my family craziness visited upon happless children. I didn't know what was genetic and what wasn't but I wasn't about to contribute to the excruciating frustration and mind numbing exasperations of yet another very tortured family.
itslex, me too.
I rather enjoy giving babies back to mom and dad after playing peek a boo for a couple of hours.
But I was raised by older parents and was never really around children very much (my cousins were all adults, etc.)
I'm not trying to change your mind here. I just wanted to say that I hated babysitting when I was a teenager. And frankly I don't really like to watch other people's kids to this day. It is different when they are your own. That's all I wanted to say.
Too many. They are selfish egotists and thank God no child is subjected to growing up in the kind of household this one would have. As a widow, I have been shocked at the number of younger men who want to date me - men who do not want wives or children and see me as safe. What they don't understand is that I see the "flaw" in them and am not interested in spending time with the people who live their lives in the "first person, singular". Sad. Very sad.
The point is that it is all part of the whole deal.
You can't separate out SSI that "your children" will be paying for for child free people without opening up arguments the other way.
I am not arguing against stuff that children need. I am asking to be fair and understand that child free people pay way more than "their fair share."
I have always loved kids....especially the ornery ones, but I've got this little kid down the street that I THANK THE LORD ISN'T MINE!!!! She's only five and if I see her outside I run in the house and lock the doors.
Wonder how her parents feel about having kids? lol
Disagree. You are looking at the front end. When childless get older the social programs take up the slack on the back end. It all evens out.
Yup. This guy has NO idea how to love, or why love matters in this world. He has nothing to give.
and leave him a bitter broken man.
ROFL! There is one little boy who is my son's friend. I can't stand him! I like his mom but I can't stand him. Thankfully they are going to different schools this year so me and mom can go out for lunch without the kids.
I had another friend expressing guilt for not liking a neighbor's child. I asked her if she liked every adult? Would she marry just any man? Gee, it's really okay not to like a kid as long as you act nice.
For some reason the name 'SCROOGE' come to mind!
It's hard to calculate -- think of 20 years of retirement vs 40 years of paying taxes (and of course only some % is "due" to children). But even if it is even, that still supports my original issue when it was suggested that the original poster should not be supported in his dotage by "my kids."
Certainly a valid point. However, I think he raises some valuable issues, despite the fact that he seems to go out of his way to insult people.
I know I'm not altogether comfortable with the idea of kids. They seem to entail a massive loss of freedom.
It's lousy when you like the parent and not the kid. It's happened to me a few times. It's soooo much easier when that parent doesn't like thier kid either!!! :)
My parents were older, too. Over 40 when I was born. I prefer the company of adults and always have. We have 2 dogs and they are a big enough responsibility. At least we can leave them alone all day when we are at work. I wouldn't want the kid-I'm-never-going-to-have to go daycare, I'd probably want to home school, and I can't imagine doing that on one income. I also would never want to give birth. Adoption would be the only way. But even then it doesn't sound appealing to me in the slightest. I'll pass, thanks.
I don't want the parental lifestyle.
I've never felt better: No one to demean me, insult me, wreck my car, wreck my credit, hurt my feelings or neglect me....
Now I just laugh at all my other friends and co-workers get shat on and henpecked by some wretched harpy.
Ahhhhhhhh......
< know a lot of liberals who have this attitude -- they don't particularly care if they have a family or not and would rather just go on with their "sex in the city" promiscuous lives without a care or responsibility.>
But these are precisely the types of people you don't want having children.
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