FReeper Canteen ~ Election Break! If I Were President, I Would....? ~ 02 NOV 2004

FRiends Of The Canteen

[MoJo2001]

 

 

 

 

 

Today's Topic: If I Were President, I Would.....?

With the election going on today, we decided to make each of you "President" for a day. Now that you are ruling the country--what would you do? Would you give everyone Friday's off? Would you get rid of the income tax? What would you do?

 

~ President (Insert Your Name) ~


Scenario

Before you sit down and do this, please GO VOTE!

America needs you. You have been made President for a day because the current one is going fishing on the new Mars settlement.

If I Were President, I Would......

Ban Taxes?
Remove The Speed Limit?
Repeal the Beer Tax? (Have to get a plug in for Burkaman 4 President!)

What would you do?

We want to know!!

 

Now it's your turn to share. What would you do as President?

 

 

 

[Soaring Feather]

Hi Ma!! Just got back home from voting!! WOO HOO!

[Soaring Feather]

Okay Diva see you in a bit. :-)

[Fawnn]

An election day break suggestion from my mom:

http://kerrywaffles.net/kerrygan.html

[Diver Dave]

Hey Uncle Tonk.

I'm out campaigning for Bush today.

---Logan

[tomkow6]

 

 

TomKow6 for Prez!

WORKING FOR HIGHWAY IMPROVEMENTS!

 

 

 

I will make America's Highway System Safer & More USER FRIENDLY!!

 

A vote for TomKow is a vote for.....

I'm TomKow6, and I approve this ad!

 

[Kathy in Alaska]

Angel Boy.....the hat trick plus 1; #200, #250, #300, #350!!

[HiJinx]

(I'm semi-past the panic and pity-party stage now.) ;)

I'd say you're well past that stage. I mean, you made at leat two separate attempts to find a comfortable seat...somebody who is feeling sorry for themselves isn't going to go that far!!

Hang in there...whoa, maybe there's an idea...sling a swing from the ceiling? Hmmmm....gotta think on that one awhile...

[Kathy in Alaska]

[Kathy in Alaska]

Thanks, donnab, to your sons and your husband for their service to America.

[tomkow6]

For those with NO children-this is totally hysterical!

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

 

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas who must be raising boys.

Things I've learned from my Children (honest; no kidding):

 

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.  When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball that was hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words uh oh, it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject Peanut Butter &Jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what the odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on .. plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.

25. 60% of the men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid

[HiJinx]

Yay Ma!!

What's with this 12 degrees F? Where do you think you are, Alaska or something?

My family is griping because the temps dropped into the upper 30s this morning..and look where it is now!! Good grief!

[Kathy in Alaska]

Welcome to the Canteen, neutrino....interesting idea.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Welcome to the Canteen, eagle11....lots of good ideas for your day as President.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Good ideas, Seven, lots of good ideas.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Welcome to the Canteen, Wampus SC....a good laundry list of suggestions for your day.

[Kathy in Alaska]

U.S. Army Sgt. Ron Villareal, Company B, 2nd Battalion, 5th Infantry Regiment, gathers his purchases as he leaves the Tarin Kowt PX on Forward Operating Base Ripley. The facility is run by soldiers in conjuntion with the Army and Air Force Exchange Service. U.S. Army photo by Spc. Dijon Rolle

[Kathy in Alaska]

Fantastic eagle, Linda. Thanks.

[Kathy in Alaska]

JOINT PATROL — U.S. soldiers, along with troops from the Afghan National Army, begin a patrol to search a village for illegal weapons in the Daychopan District of Zabol Province, Afghanistan, Oct. 23, 2004. The U.S. troops are assigned to Company A, 2nd Battalion, 35th Infantry Regiment, 25th Infantry Division. U.S. Army photo by Staff Sgt. Joseph P. Collins, Jr

[Kathy in Alaska]

Some interesting ideas, WestVirginiaRebel. Thanks for sharing.

[HiJinx]

Whew!! Check out the big jars of protein powder in the back corner!

Anyway, just received a thought-provoking e-mail and thought I'd share it...

I think this even beats the Old Soldiers Home!

---

When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.