Posted on 09/22/2004 4:59:54 PM PDT by BigDaddy63
Dan Rather, after learning the memos were frauds.
Bush won. I think I'm gonna be sick.
"Pretty soon-sniff, sniff-you won't have Dan Rather to kick around anymore!"
Hang on... I think I just swallowed my career!
Now help me out. How can I blame all of this on Bush??
Now help me out. How can I blame all of this on Bush??
Oh pleeeeze don't tell me the "Pajama Squad" is here!
Oh pleeeeze don't tell me the "Pajama Squad" is here!
Why don't they like me???
Why don't they like Kerry???
(sob, heave, sob)
Dan reacts to the news he's won the "Mr. Liberal Dupe" competition.
There he is, Mr. Liberal Dupe!
There he is, your ideal.
With so many nitwits,
He took the air by storm
With his truly Liberal face and form!And there he is!
Walking on air, he is!
Dumbest of the Dumb, he is!
Mr. Liberal Dupe!
Buckhead WHO??????
Free Republic WHAT??????
Forged WHEN??????
Bloggers WHERE??????
And then I said to Monica, "you grab Willie's wee willie winkie like this and blow."
Here Dan, blow your nose on these documents.
"Now, now, Dan, it's all right, you don't have to ever go out in public again."
(There's a comforting hand on him, isn't there?)
Blather: Well, ahh, Dave, they, well there all, ahh, aw AW Bulshhisss. Excuse me I had to sneeze. what was the question again?
When told his National Guard hit piece would be a deciding factor in re-electing the hated George W Bush this November, Mr. Rather suddenly gurgled and turned bright pink as giant chucks of rancid beef steak and his favorite Zinfandel raced up his throat, blew over his tongue and shot through his pale, dry lips like a rocket-powered freight train on acid, immediately showering everyone in the studio with vile chunder and earning him more than a few choice swearwords and angry hand gestures.
Breaking news: It has been reported that CBS anchorman Dan Rather died today. He is reported to have choked to death. The local coroner had this to say after performing the autopsy: "I've never seen anything quite like it. When we opened him up, we found the entire Bush family stuck firmly in his craw. They'd obviously been there for years, but it finally killed him. And when we examined his colon, imagine how surprised we were to find a 'Buckhead' brand boot buried there. It has some strange inscription. 'FR' or something. We're still struggling to figure out what that means."
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