Hell Looks an Awful Lot Like the Republican Convention (From Canada, with love.)

The Globe and Mail ^ | September 2, 2004 | John Doyle

[quidnunc]

A man in Michigan wrote to me last week and said, "Please go to hell or stay in Canada, whichever you prefer."

His suggestion arose because of remarks made here about Democrat John Kerry, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and the general state of the American media.

Now I have news for the man in Michigan. Recently, I succeeded in staying in Canada and simultaneously visiting hell. I have been watching coverage of the Republican Convention.

There are many horrible ways of inflicting pain on oneself, but this has got to be one of the worst. You get agitated and then worried that you're getting all those side-effects that you're warned about on those American commercials for prescription drugs — headache, nausea and hypertension. Your stomach churns, you turn numb. You learn that Vice-President Dick Cheney is now America's granddad.

The tactical point of this Republican convention is to show the allegedly "compassionate" side of the Republicans. It's working. What makes a viewer particularly nauseous is watching the television media roll over to have its tummy rubbed by Republicans.

-snip-

[rock58seg]

You forgot : A bunch of notalent hockey teams.

LOL

BUSH/CHENEY IN 2004

[PokeyJoe]

The only difference between France and Canada is us and the proximity of Heinz Ketchup.

I think it rather ironic that the French hate Americans in Paris asking for a bottle of ketchup at dinner, and here we are.... SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED owns HEINZ KETCHUP.

Makes me laugh.

ha ha ha

[SkyPilot]

The only difference between France and Canada is us.

There is a line that is sure to be stolen.

[t_skoz]

Some of my family was from Quebec, in the days before the United States or Canada were even countries.

The best decision they ever made was to cross the NY border into the ADK mountains and become Americans.

But on the other hand, I go to Canada quite requently and I can attest that outside of the press, most Canadians are OK folks and do not have this irrational anti-Americanism.

Even the people from Montreal are nice folks!!!

[balk]

"Hope they choke to death during W's victory speech."

Nothing would make this Canadian happier.

[Robert357]

The only difference between France and Canada is us.

There are many good Canadians, only problem is that most of them are in the Western provinces and don't have much control over what happens in their federal government.

Canada has some real problems, but we should not compare them to the French or at least we should only compare Quebec to France.

[driftless]

I think Canadians should stop obsessing over us and start worrying about all the infringements on their right of free expression. Apparently in Canada you can get thrown in the hoosegow for certain politically incorrect remarks. If Canadians on this forum know more about this (as I'm sure most of them do), I would like to know exactly what you can get arrested for saying. Here in the States we haven't reached that stage yet though not for lack of effort on American libs part.

[GunRunner]

Are they married?

[Mr. K]

waitaminnit- Canada has some damn good beer...!

[tet68]

Austria is now a member country of the European Union, with better guarantees on health care and wages than any state in America. Nobody mentioned that


John, nobody mentioned TAXES but don't let that stop you from fantasizing about utopia too

[FierceDraka]

Canada has a TOTAL military strength of roughly 60,000 troops, and the citizenry has been pretty much disarmed.

If the US was truly the "evil empire" that these mad-dog socialists claim, our forces could overrun the entire country in a matter of weeks, while encountering virtually no meaningful resistance.

In fact, American civillians could probably conquer Canada, armed with nothing heavier than the firepower you can buy at WalMart or Galyan's, while driving up there in our own SUV's.

Payback for the War of 1812, anyone?

I'm not advocating a bunch of good ol' boys invading Canada - it would be a waste of time. I'm just making a point about the sorry state in which the Canadian military finds itself after living under the US defense umbrella for the last 50 years.

[DB]

Four more years of Hell coming your way. Enjoy!

I sure will.

[NorthOf45]

"There are many good Canadians"

Ah yes, a ray of light in a storm of hissy-fits.

[NorthOf45]

"Hell Looks an Awful Lot Like the Republican Convention (From Canada, with love.)"

I love your little add-ons quidnunc, even if they are inaccurate by design.

[thulldud]

I was just listening to a Parrish on Fox. Terry McCauliff.

Watch it! There are actually Parrishes who resent being compared to those elitist spitball-chuckers of the left.

Some of them right here on FR.

[hershey]

The author of this tripe has a serious problem with envy. He should seek professional help at once.

[Growler]

Crap! F**king Canadians!

OK, I won't paint them with too broad of a brush. First, my wife is a Naturalized Canadian (who served in the US military on active duty is is still in the reserves).

Second, I still remember on Don Cherry, on "Hockey Night in Canada," giving an impassioned speech about the US/Iraq situation and slamming the Canadian government (They didn't need our troops. All they ever wanted was for us to say "we're with you.")

Unfortunately, the CBC pulled the tape of his speech almost immediately (think NPR and you have an idea about the CBC). If anyone has a transcript of Don's "Coach's Corner" speech back in early 2003, I would love to see it. It shows what most of us know already - that a lot of Canadians are with us.