The French even hate themselves!

AP

[gunnygail]

Thursday, Oct. 2, 2003 AP

Now Even the French Hate the French

The frogs are in a stew over their "growing sense of France's decline," the International Herald Tribune reported today. Yes, "for the first time in a half century ... the notion of a rapid descent in France's influence is receiving wide acknowledgment within the French establishment." So-called intellectuals - we realize this term is a stretch in the land of the National Socialists' accomplices - are admitting "that French leadership, as it is constituted now, is not something Europe wants - or France merits," the newspaper revealed. Best-selling books, with such juicy and appropriate titles as "French Arrogance" and "France in Free Fall," have "focused discussion on the country's incapacities, rigidities and its role, they say, in the context of the Iraq war, in dividing the Western community and fracturing notions of Europe's potential unity." The books "are merciless in their accusations of the fantasy-driven ineffectualness of French foreign policy and the extent of the country's economic breakdown," said the Herald Tribune. "Together, they project the image of a decadent France, adrift from its brilliant past, incapable of inspiring allegiance or emulation and without a constructive, humanist plan for the future." Even the anti-American author Nicolas Baverez admitted, "Overtaken by the democratic vitality and technological advance of the United States, downgraded industrially and challenged commercially by China and Asia, the decline of France is accelerating at the same rhythm as the vast changes in the world." He said Paris must dump its "social statist model."

[Temple Owl]

An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are all in Saudi Arabia, ?sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after each receiving just 20 lashes of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Englishman was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done he had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Frenchman was next up. After watching the Engishman in horror he said smugly: "Please fix deux pillows to my back."

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Frenchman was soon led away whimpering loudly (as they do).

The American was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your people are the kindest and most generous in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", The American replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave". The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheik asked.

"Tie the Frenchman to my back."

[bray]

France is the turd floating in the World Punchbowl!

Pray for W and Saint Nancy

[ICX]

At least the English are staying the course with the U.K. Independence Party...I'd love to see England pull out of the E.U. and the ensuing scramble to hold it together.

[dufekin]

I say we should "reform" the Security Council by reducing the number of permanent seats with veto power on it to three.

AMERICA remains a world superpower, as it was in 1945. We rank third in population among the world's countries. We have by far the largest economy in the world. We keep our veto.

FRANCE never was the world's leading superpower. Their language is somewhat less popular than Tagalog or Bengali among the people of the world, and they have very little influence. They lose their seat.

RUSSIA, even more than France, has a rapidly declining population. Although their economy continues to recover from Communism, their global influence never will recover. Russia is but a vestige of the Soviet Union. They lose their seat.

CHINA is a major global power, and Chinese is the most popular first language of the world's people. Their economy is booming, having been freed from the bonds of Communism. The Chinese are ruled by a relatively cruel dictator, albeit a less powerful one than a decade ago. Because they are not a free country, the Chinese lose their seat.

INDIA was but a small part of the British Empire in 1945, but it now ranks first in population among the countries of the world. Most Indians remain rather poor, but they are recovering from decades of socialism. India now is a free country. They will be granted veto-power status.

The BRITISH empire is a vestige of its former self, but more people can speak English than can speak any other language. Their empire, now held together through the British Commonwealth of Nations, is the most successful, on balance, of the collective descendant countries of any major European colonial power. As a free country, they continue to maintain their status as a major naval power. Britain is the mother country of America and India, the other two veto-power members. They keep their veto seat.

So, AMERICA, BRITAIN, and INDIA are the veto-weilding members of the Security Council. The other 12 seats would be filled by regional groups, from among the major free countries in their respective regions, as follows:

1. AMERICA
2. INDIA
3. BRITAIN
4. South America (Brazil, Argentina, Peru, or Chile)
5. Caribbean/Mesoamerica (Mexico or Canada)
6. Northern Europe (Germany, Sweden, Austria, Switzerland, Denmark, Norway, or Ireland)
7. Western Europe (France, Italy, Spain, Netherlands, Belgium, or Portugal)
8. Eastern Europe (Poland, Romania, Greece, Czech Republic, Hungary, Finland, or Slovakia)
9. MONGOLIA (Central Asia)
10. ISRAEL (Middle East)
11. GHANA (Equatorial Africa)
12. SOUTH AFRICA (Southern Africa)
13. Oceania (Australia or New Zealand)
14. THAILAND (Southeast Asia)
15. Japan, Korea, Philippines, or Taiwan

[chasman89031]

Boys, boys, boys! Isn't it possible we're expressing more animus than France deserves........................NAH! French terrorism alert conditions:
1st - Very Bright Yellow = Surrender
2nd - Bright Yellow = Collaborate
3rd - Yellow = Run
4th - Pale Yellow = Hide

[SF Republican]

Their security council seat is their last vestige of power. and with Britain also at the table it is time they combine that seat for the EU and give the other seat to India (the largest democracy in the world) Sorry for all of you that have to read this again, it is one of my major gripes with the UN - although my request is rearranging the chairs on the titanic type of thing

[reagan_fanatic]

Lousy frogs.

France should be removed from NATO post-haste. They have ZERO value to the alliance and contribute nothing.

[zeugma]

No. It's "cheese eating surrender monkeys".

One of the funniest things to come out of this whole war in Iraq.

[Lukasz]

Well, Napoleon also lost! Second case is that he had international army, not only French.

[Phantom Lord]

No. It's "cheese eating surrender monkeys".

One of the funniest things to come out of this whole war in Iraq.

Actually it is years old and from The Simpson's. Groundskeeper Willie said it.

[Protagoras]

It's "cheese eating surrender monkeys".

You mean like this? I'm still trying to find a picture of a frog surrendering.

[Protagoras]

[537cant be wrong]

aye g*d bless the scotts.
aye flaiy awaey yea feiary.
ya cheese eatin sssurrender monkays

grounds keeper willy rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[vanmorrison]

"Growing sense? lol.....yeah, since Napoleon."

And we must never allow the French to forget that Napoleon was Italian!

[Jimmy Valentine]

Vote Jean Marie LePen in 2004!

La France pour les Francais, pas des pieds noires!!

Salut!

[ARCADIA]

If not for France's permanent seat on the Security Council, it would be a country with ZERO influence, ZERO power, and ZERO reason to be given consideration on any matter. Their security council seat is their last vestige of power.

I couldn't agree with you more. They should give France's seat to India or Japan. The only European country deserving a seat on the Security Council is Britain.

[steveyp]

F.
The.
French.

[fish hawk]

They cook some pretty good food, if you have California wine with it. Love the food but hate the Chef!

[muleskinner]

Now that's funny.

[RJL]

Even the anti-American author Nicolas Baverez admitted, "Overtaken by the democratic vitality and technological advance of the United States, downgraded industrially and challenged commercially by China and Asia, the decline of France is accelerating at the same rhythm as the vast changes in the world." He said Paris must dump its "social statist model."

No, no, no, France must raise taxes and benefits, shorten working days and earlier retirements, mandate upper middle class money for everyone!

And of course stick your thumb in America's eye every chance you get.