Posted on 12/11/2003 7:55:35 AM PST by Mr. Silverback
A pair of magazine articles recently revealed some intriguing facts about marriage and singleness in America. U.S. NEWS AND WORLD REPORT notes that Americans are getting married later in life. And, according to reporter Michelle Conlin in BUSINESS WEEK, "The U.S. Census Bureau's newest numbers show that married-couple households . . . have slipped from nearly 80 percent in the 1950s to just 50.7 percent [of the population] today. That means that the U.S.'s 86 million single adults could soon define the new majority . . . What many once thought of as the fringe is becoming the new normal."
As a result, the way we view many things -- singleness, marriage, friendships, and institutions -- is changing dramatically. For instance, U.S. NEWS AND WORLD REPORT's article focused on the so-called "Tribal Culture," in which single friends form highly organized groups that serve as a kind of substitute family. One such group, in Denver, has 110 members. But that number pales in comparison to some of the groups that are forming online at websites like Friendster.com where literally thousands of people meet to form social networks.
The existence of these "tribes" and these statistics tell us something about ourselves, the way we're wired. We are social beings: We need family and community -- even in a culture that prizes autonomy above all things. But BUSINESS WEEK's reporter sees a quite different meaning in the trend she calls "the new normal." Conlin argues that benefits like insurance and Social Security, which have always gone to married couples, should also be extended to singles, cohabiting couples, and homosexuals living together. She writes, "Just because matrimony is good for society doesn't mean that outmoded social benefits are."
Now, first let me say that it's important for Christians, when examining this trend, to avoid pointing fingers or acting as if singles are somehow inferior to married people. Surrounded by a culture fearful of commitment and more interested in "hooking up" than dating, even those who are interested in getting married often have a hard time finding anyone who shares their interest. Also, as Paul teaches in the New Testament, not everyone is called to be married.
However, there's a genuine cause for concern when people cite widespread singleness as an excuse to promote policies that denigrate traditional families. The benefits we give to two-parent families should have nothing to do with how many families there are. It's a recognition of the great importance of a stable family structure to our society, in all kinds of areas -- the strength of the workforce, the emotional health of kids, and even the physical health of adults. These benefits are one way that we encourage standards that reflect the way we were designed to live -- standards like lifelong faithfulness to one person and a committed mother and father for every child. The more we insist on ignoring these standards, the weaker our culture becomes.
Marriage already has enough strikes against it in a culture that largely considers it just one more "lifestyle choice." We don't need to discourage it even more. "The new normal" so-called may change a lot of things, but it shouldn't change the way we look at a God-ordained, time-tested institution. Tribes may have their place in the chaos of postmodern culture, but they are no substitute for marriage and the family.
I must say, although I have never "completed a project", I think it's a fairly true statement. I have 2 olders sister, both married around 30 years, and they always say that it took them that long to whip their husbands into shape. They did have to put up with alot of $hit getting there though!
Ick - if I want to tame or train something, I'll get another puppy - or a wolf.
Southfield girl's mom seeks nearly $300,000
Former Detroit Lion Bennie Blades turned himself in to authorities Monday to face charges of being a deadbeat dad.
Blades, who played defensive back for nine seasons with the Lions, was charged with failing to pay nearly $300,000 in child support to the mother of a 12-year-old Southfield girl -- one of six children he fathered with six women. He also was charged with child abandonment.
Blades, 37, of Plantation, Fla., turned himself in to the Wayne County Sheriff's Department, said Matt Davis, a spokesman with the Attorney General's Office. He was arraigned in 36th District Court in Detroit.
The Attorney General's Office asked that Blades' bond be set at 10 percent of $2 million or $200,000 in cash, but it was set at $100,000 or 10 percent, meaning that Blades had to come up with $10,000 to be released from jail.
As of Monday evening, he had not posted bond.
In an interview with the Free Press last week, Blades said he wanted to work out a settlement with the girl's mother, but her lawyer refused to talk to him.
In 1999, a judge ordered Blades to pay $860 a week in child support for the girl, but Blades said he thought that order had been modified to reflect his current salary as a substitute teacher with the Broward County school district in Florida.
Blades retired from football in 1998 after suffering a herniated disc. He said he brings home about $180 every two weeks and that the rest of his salary goes to child support and taxes.
"Our bottom line is that we want to get compliance with the child-support order," Davis said. "The best situation is something that will be workable for all parties."
I know, I said that. So that makes me have a bad attitude? I'll pray for your husband.
Been there, done that. Is there any doubt in your mind why I went to Mindanao for a new wife? I am planning on moving there, and one reason is, to avoid the horrible divorce laws here.
And I'll pray for your wife.
Look, maybe I'm wrong, but the way I see it is that your first post claimed you had NEVER seen any woman on any these threads say these laws were unfair - which showed me you hadn't read much on this particular thread, because I wasn't the only one saying so. I also know that many of the women on this thread have said many similar things, along with me on other threads of this nature.
Sorry you don't like my attitude, but when someone claims they have NEVER seen something, that is much more than just the use of a generality and it can come across in two ways - someone who is so wrapped up in his/her own little cocoon he/she can't undeerstand members of the target group can actually agree to a certain extent or someone with a bad attitude......I chose to opt for what I consider to be the lesser of 2 evils.
lol I'm not married ! And darn proud of it.
I read every post. I can't recall you or any other female saying something to the effect of "you know, these guys have a point. The divorce laws are unfair."
Have a nice day.
You sure pegged that right. If a person lives in rural Nebraska like I do, the only women left are teenagers, teenagers with children, widows, or one's that might as well have stamped on their foreheads, "Stay clear". Add to the mixture a ratio of 10 men to women and somebody's going to spend Saturday night alone.
It isn't like the men out here are scum of the earth, they are just victims of geography. Many men go to college and return to run the family business. Most females leave the rural areas to go to college... and never come back.
You lucky dog, at least you have single women within that radius.
Deal.
You lucky dog, at least you have single women within that radius.
I used to live in Henderson, NE. It was an interesting little town. I understand where you are coming from regarding finding any singles in rural Nebraska.
OK, I'm moving to Nebraska!......:)
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