Skip to comments.
Taking Toddlers to Church: Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
Catholic Exchange ^
| 06-16-03
| Mary Ann Kuharski
Posted on 06/16/2003 8:50:22 AM PDT by el_chupacabra
Other Articles by Mary Ann Kuharski
Taking Toddlers to Church: Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
|
|
|
6/16/03
|
|
|
TOPICS: Catholic; General Discusssion; Religion & Culture; Worship
KEYWORDS: children; church; mass; toddlers
Okay. Next week we will move our kids to the front of the church. Wish us luck.
P.S. Sorry about the goofy HTML. Bear with me, I'm a true novice.
To: el_chupacabra
Dear el,
"Okay. Next week we will move our kids to the front of the church. Wish us luck."
When our guys were very small, they weren't terribly interested in what was going on at the altar. We sat in the very back pew every week. This accomplished two things:
1. There was no one behind them to look at and be distracted by. Often, well-meaning folks will engage a small child silently, winking, smiling, etc. This is really nice, and always made me feel welcome with my children, but regrettably, it sometimes caused the guys to get into a "play mode". Sitting in the last pew eliminates this problem.
2. If, by chance, one of the guys isn't on his best behavior that Sunday, in the back pew, he will cause less distraction to others.
Once my littler guy got to be about four or so, he started getting a little more antsy. When asked, he said he would very much like to see what was going on. At that point, we moved up toward the front. But, he was told that we would promptly move to the back pew if he didn't hold up his end of the deal, which was to behave well at Mass.
We haven't been to the back pew since.
sitetest
2
posted on
06/16/2003 9:02:09 AM PDT
by
sitetest
To: sitetest
Thanks sitetest,
My family seems to be in familiar territory for you. We have been lingering in the back for a few years. My son just turned four and I believe he would be able to sit still through the entire mass if he could see what was happening.
Our 19 month-old, however, will be a real experiment . . .
To: el_chupacabra
Sit up front. Most children behave better when they are seated near the front and can see the altar and priest. If you go to a Novus Ordo Mass, you probably don't want to sit up front and have your children witness the scandal unfolding in front of their very eyes.
4
posted on
06/16/2003 9:31:16 AM PDT
by
Aloysius
To: el_chupacabra
**"Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven" (Mt. 19:14)?**
From the times our children were in babes in arms (one week old) until they moved out of the house, they attended church with us.
We did find a part of the church to sit in that didn't distract too many people. Pews were in the shape of a T with walls along the main part and the space open to the T parts at the very front. We always sat in the right hand section of the T -- close to the cry room when our children were younger and still squirmy. If they got vocal then we quickly moved into the cry room. I do think parents need to be sensitive here.
But when they entered kindergarten they were required to sit still, kneel, stand, sing, etc. as well as they were able. They were also given instructions on the holiness of the Mass and that the hosts and wine actually changed into the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ. They were always ver respectful toward the Mass regime, even though their little sibling routines would kick in once in a while.
FYI, our children were
3 girls born a year apart
1 boy born two years after the last girl
and 1 boy born five years later.
Yes, we were busy in church, but they were always there with us.
5
posted on
06/16/2003 9:35:06 AM PDT
by
Salvation
(†With God all things are possible.†)
To: el_chupacabra
I think you should sit in the front pew with your kids... maybe at the end - near the side door. That way, if the 19 month old gets really antsy or the 4 year old has to go to the bathroom, you have a quick non distracting escape route. I also make it a practice to do something memorable after Mass if their behaviour is acceptable. Nothing big, just stopping for coffee and a donut at the local Dunkin' Donuts. Not a big deal now (but a nice Sunday tradition) as my kids are older and are fine during Mass because they understand why we are there in the first place (starting at about 5 years old).
I've always gravitated to the front with my kids as I find they are more engaged (and inclined to say the aloud prayers aloud) if they can see what the priest is doing on the altar. I just cast my mind back to being a kid and remembering what it is like to stare at the backs of all the huge adults.
The only times I get annoyed at parents over the kids behavior is when a parent doesn't take a crying baby out of Mass - and the kid keeps crying and crying. One family has twin boys about 4 or 5 who run out of the pew and sometimes on the altar... and the priest encourages the parents to let it go as it is "their Father's house." I've seen these kids in the local supermarket and they run around wild there as well.
I'm sure your kids are fine! I'm just happy to see families at Mass, to tell you the truth.
To: Aloysius
If you go to a Novus Ordo Mass, you probably don't want to sit up front and have your children witness the scandal unfolding in front of their very eyes. Sounds like you've seen the mass at the extrodinarily popular parish we just left. The pastor has a degree in "liturgy." That should have been a big red flag.
By the way, we love the quiet and prayerful Novus Ordo mass at our new parish.
To: Aloysius
If you go to a Novus Ordo Mass, you probably don't want to sit up front and have your children witness the scandal unfolding in front of their very eyes. Uncalled for, not charitable and imo, venomous.
To: american colleen
Uncalled for, not charitable and imo, venomous. Venomous? Like you declaring the SSPX in schism?
9
posted on
06/16/2003 9:44:35 AM PDT
by
Aloysius
To: Aloysius
hey, hey, hey! No threadjacking! Keep this one on topic, please.
To: el_chupacabra
In our church one Sunday, a woman's newborn was crying during the service. As a choirister, I was at the back of the church at the end of the service (an Episcopalian service, we march to the rear of the church during the recessional). She looked up and apologized to everyone. I told her, "A church doesn't have a problem when a child cries during the service. It's when there are no children crying at a service that a church has a real problem."
11
posted on
06/16/2003 9:48:08 AM PDT
by
RonF
To: el_chupacabra
12
posted on
06/16/2003 9:49:07 AM PDT
by
Salvation
(†With God all things are possible.†)
To: american colleen
Good call there AC.
13
posted on
06/16/2003 9:51:24 AM PDT
by
Salvation
(†With God all things are possible.†)
To: RonF
Excellent observation to the parents!
14
posted on
06/16/2003 9:52:34 AM PDT
by
Salvation
(†With God all things are possible.†)
To: el_chupacabra
Just for a different perspective, there are five of us and for years my parents never went to Mass together - and neither did we until we learned to behave. It had to be a special occasion for us to go to Mass when we were little. By kindergarden, though, we had all been often enough that we knew what we were doing.
To: el_chupacabra
Sitting in front really, really helps. Our pastor actually reserved the front pews for families with children for a few weeks in order to encourage this practice. We also found that our daughter (just turned 5) was much, much more cooperative when she had a little more room in the pews than she could get at the crowded 10:30 service. Saturday evenings, in fact, worked much better for a while--and have led to better behavior and more participation on Sunday mornings now.
To: el_chupacabra
My husband and I and our four children always try and sit near the front. Our kids behave better if we sit near the front probably out of fear of what Dad will do if they do not behave! But as someone said, they do like to be able to see what is going on. The problem age was always "3" - seems none of them would ever keep quiet or sit still. Books definitely do help. I found a coloring book once with bible stories which really helped (limiting the crayons though to only 3 or 4).
I love to see families in Church together. Wish more would come!
17
posted on
06/16/2003 7:48:38 PM PDT
by
Gerish
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson