Posted on 06/08/2003 8:35:52 AM PDT by tridentine
With the rise of Pope John Paul's personalism, one must look at the subject of torture from a different point of view. The old Thomistic Inquisitors of past centuries were too insistent on developing means and methods which they could judge as being objectively superior to other means and methods.
The difficulty with this is, that although there are certainly objective truths to be established, that does not tell us what effect the particular device and method have on a particular individual.
So, it's thumbscrews and the rack for everyone!
How much more effective, if, say, the subject were someone with similar proclivities of BlackElk, as a start, to force him to listen to three post-menopausal AmChurch nuns playing the guitar badly, and singing Kumbaya, for, say, forty hours straight. I promise you that at the end of my work, he would confess to you anything you desired. And there would be less clean-up, afterwards..
The personalist dimension is so overlooked by the more traditional elements. You need to integrate the Language of the Body into your approach. You need to understand what the subject's body is telling you, to help guide the process along.
As well, the insistence on an objective view of things really cripples the imagination when it comes to improvisation. I dare say that, for myself, my greatest device is not the implements to disembowel, nor sharp nails, nor bamboo shoots, but rather, my mind. I look around, and all the world is rich in devices which can service quite well.
But, should you choose not to avail yourself of my services, fear not, I lack not for work aplenty. Though with Saddam gone, I do have a significant chunk of free billable hours.
sitetest
"Don't bother with the philosophical underpinnings, as 'personalism' stuff will only get you in trouble with UltRat and his gang."
I thought that those folks might actually be some of the ones we need to..., how shall I say it?... gather and address. In which case, the personalist philosophy will serve well to help weave the threads of the appropriate treatment. Then there are the Marcel dolls...
After all, you know what they say, schism is proximate to heresy. A little pre-treatment could save these poor souls.
;-)
"BTW, why worry about 'cleanup' afterwards? I do not concern myself with EPA and OSHA regs in this operation..."
The heck with EPA, etc. Those folks are all involved in that goddess worship thingy. In fact, when we get to... addressing them, I have some old bottles of DDT, some old soda cans with throw-away poptops, some cans of hairspray using lots of CFCs, and a large quantity of un-recycled back issues of National Review. I've found a lovely room for these ones, with an old window air-conditioning unit still using freon. Just to add a little ambience to the proceedings.
But if you don't occasionally clear things out, it gets a little squishy underfoot. My methods reduce this problem by 80%.
"Finally, I hope you did not have a large A/R portfolio under Saddam's name,..."
A/R??? No, no, with that sort, payment was usually upfront. Ask Kim Il-Jong. He's always complaining about my payment terms. But have no fear, what little credit extended to that bunch will be re-paid in full. Some of it may be re-paid with actual money.
"Find a CPA who will spread it out over a few years."
I go to a good, mid-sized, local firm. Big enough to have several folks expert at dealing with the government, small enough to give me good, individualized service. Also, my attorney is a premier tax attorney.
I try to stay straight with the tax authorities. After all, even I can muster nothing as mind-numbingly horrific as an IRS audit.
sitetest
Wouldn't it be great though if the Fr. Shanley's of the world were called to the Vatican and burned at the stake in St. Peter's Square? Or better yet, taken out on the high seas and thrown overboard with a millstone around their neck?
Maybe Pope Piel I can figure out a way to do this.
Now where can I send my money order?
Also, I understand there is some inexpensive equipment available from certain sources in Baghdad that would be useful for this new religious center. We should look into arranging purchase and transportation now. If we're lucky, maybe we'll get some Babylonian antiquities thrown in for free on the deal to decorate the place.
I also think we will need a director for this center who is sensitive enough to the needs of the detainees to understand the special handling methods they require. I'm nominating NYPD Officer Justin Volpe, once he is released from the penitentiary.
Can you??
I've held back from suggesting it directly until now, but I can't anymore. The most perfect implement for this task is in an evidence room in Brooklyn. It is the Abner Louima Memorial Toilet Plunger. This item must be obtained and blessed for the Work.
The world is full of double beds/
And most delightful maidenheads./
That being said, there's no excuse,/
For sodomy or self-abuse.
-Hillaire Belloc
Roman Catholics around the world suffer the embarrassment of having bishops and cardinals who choose to mock 1,900 years of sacred tradition in favor of pagan rituals and contemporary immorality. That a reprobate [ bishop or cardinal ] is located in North America or Africa is not relevant.
What is relevant is the passive endorsement [ of heresy and immorality and protection ] the Vatican has provided [soiled] red robes in two many places.
But alas, comes Black Elk always willing to trade lances in a blink of a day. He strikes with a stunning rejoinder :
"What is even worse is those who see the speck in the eye of others but fail to see the mote in their own."
You got me there bud. Wow! I give.....NOT.
Well your fishy essence, Since you do need to set the tone of your Reign on the Chair of St. Peter, you need to make the Papacy unique to your particular tastes and inclinations.
While i'm partial to burning due to my background, i generally prefer chemical burns, less trauma that way, and much more amusement for a longer period of time, progress you see.
Still, in keeping with the tone of your Papacy...how about a large pool of holy water filled with hungry pirrana fish, and a block and tackle to lower the heretic into the pool slowly. Leave his feet free so as to add to his despair (good for extracting confessions). Of course, tourniquets and "cut downs" are required to keep the subject from bleeding out prematurly when the femoral arteries are consumed. Should he confess and recant, simply release the tension and allow him to be completely immersed. It would at least show the infidels that you are serious and innovative
It also has the added benefit of providing the climate for blessing and exorcism.
Might i suggest CC Woody for the position of exorcist, seeing as how i seem to have this department under control?
Your indulgence please your fish n chips, but i must add that anyone knows how to inflict great amounts of pain. The process is far more effective when one adds a certain amount of mental anguish to the process. My favorite techniques have always involved the giving and removing of hope (along with certain body parts) from the heretic. At the end he must beg for death, and be in despair that his or her worst horror would be the possibility that they might live through the interrogation, with what physical "assets" they have remaining.
I agree, excuse me while I dismiss the rest of your competition.
[turns to the others and says...]
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