Posted on 01/19/2019 11:33:40 AM PST by Salvation
Second marriages The Church does not gauge the validity of a union by the happiness of the people who have entered it Msgr. Charles Pope 1/9/2019
Question: Jesus says if you divorce your wife and marry another, you commit adultery. But we see many seemingly happy people in their second marriage. What is your perspective on this?
Paul VanHoudt, Erie, Colorado
Answer: The implied premise of your question is that happiness and joy are determining criteria for what is right and wrong. Such a premise is flawed. Doing what is right does not always bring immediate happiness. Sometimes what is right is challenging and irksome, and we must trust in the ultimate happiness of doing what is right, not simply the passing happiness that may come from doing what is wrong. Jesus summons us to take up our cross and follow him, not our pillow. He further warns, Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep (Lk 6:25).
A second problematic premise of your observation is a rather personalized understanding of happiness. People in second marriages may manifest happiness, but it is often not such a happy reality in the eyes of their children or other family members, who may have very mixed feelings, including sorrow. Many children of divorced families carry hurts and scars from the experience. They had to process the tragic reality that Mom and Dad dont love each other anymore and, apparently, I am not a good enough reason for them to stay together. This may harm their trust in people and their own moral, spiritual and emotional formation. They may have to spend time at different homes and navigate confusing relationships if their parents go on to date and marry others. Even as they become adults, these complexities and ambiguities remain. When the parents put down the cross of working at their marriage, it is usually the children who must pick it up. Thus, when it comes to happiness, more must be considered than the couple.
All that said, noting that some people go on to great fulfillment in second marriages and even come into the Church or grow in holiness, cannot be wholly disregarded. There may be indications that God is offering blessings in what is objectively problematic. For this pastoral reason and others, the Church is willing to look into the questions of prior marriages and see if there are causes for the nullity of that first marriage. A declaration of nullity is a judgment of the Church that some essential aspect of marriage was lacking in the prior marriage and that it was not what God has joined together. There is not space here to fully explain nullity. However, it should be added that the mere happiness of spouses in a current marriage is not a consideration in granting annulments for a prior marriage. Only data regarding the prior marriage are considered.
yep, what about the children, often the victims of divorce..how about their happiness?
I know someone who is on his 4th marriage and still serves as a lector and receives Holy Communion every week..
But you did the right thing.
Fourth marriage-wow! Is his last name Kennedy? Biden?
From my 18 years in a Baptist parsonage, and four years in Seminary ... I do recall:
Luke 16:18 - Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
Romans 7:2-3 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
Like I said why would the CC feel they have to intervene and annul a marriage?
Matt 5:31-32 clearly says adultery is legitimate reason for divorce.
But yet you waited three years for the CC to dither around?
Why did you feel you needed their approval and permission to do something that is clearly Biblical?
See the link at Post #54.
FWIW, few people you will ever meet have a truly Biblical viewpoint or understanding of how God regards marriage and what one’s options are to get any support from Him in a sexual union.
Most marital counselors will give you bad, unscriptural advice. This thread is full of it.
Your link doesn’t work
I try to avoid vulgarities, too. However the use of vulgarities has no bearing on the validity of one’s proposition. To say you lose an argument because you went there, is silly, if not to say BS. LOL
circa 1955...
As Elizabeth Taylor said as she got out
of the shower, “I feel like a new man.”
Matthew 5:31-32 (NIV)
Divorce
31 It has been said, Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.
32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Did you notice the Greek word was for adultery is in the passage, and not for the exception ? Adultery is specified as the result of divorce and remarriage, not as a valid excuse to do it. Adultery is not fornication (porneia).
Finally a word from someone who understands how things work, not how they think it works.
It isn’t unforgivable. It’s the second marriage, resulting in constant adultery that isn’t repented from that causes the problem.
I didn’t say he lost the argument, all I said was he couldn’t have the argument with me :-)
You got what your assinine and arrogant tactic got on its knees and begged for. Here you are, after twice failing to argue the point, ginning up a technicality to wave around. For all of my life the Left have been using precisely your tactic to tear down what they hate. You ought to be more thoughtful about whose crap you pickup and throw around.
Adultery/fornication (chronic) by my first husband was the reason my annulment was granted in 2004 by the Archdiocese of New Mexico and the diocese of Phoenix.
Youre wrong in this case. I have the paperwork to prove it.
Except it be for adultery. How can you read it any other way?
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