Posted on 01/19/2019 11:33:40 AM PST by Salvation
Second marriages The Church does not gauge the validity of a union by the happiness of the people who have entered it Msgr. Charles Pope 1/9/2019
Question: Jesus says if you divorce your wife and marry another, you commit adultery. But we see many seemingly happy people in their second marriage. What is your perspective on this?
— Paul VanHoudt, Erie, Colorado
Answer: The implied premise of your question is that happiness and joy are determining criteria for what is right and wrong. Such a premise is flawed. Doing what is right does not always bring immediate happiness. Sometimes what is right is challenging and irksome, and we must trust in the ultimate happiness of doing what is right, not simply the passing happiness that may come from doing what is wrong. Jesus summons us to take up our cross and follow him, not our pillow. He further warns, “Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep” (Lk 6:25).
A second problematic premise of your observation is a rather personalized understanding of happiness. People in second marriages may manifest happiness, but it is often not such a happy reality in the eyes of their children or other family members, who may have very mixed feelings, including sorrow. Many children of divorced families carry hurts and scars from the experience. They had to process the tragic reality that Mom and Dad don’t love each other anymore and, apparently, I am not a good enough reason for them to stay together. This may harm their trust in people and their own moral, spiritual and emotional formation. They may have to spend time at different homes and navigate confusing relationships if their parents go on to date and marry others. Even as they become adults, these complexities and ambiguities remain. When the parents put down the cross of working at their marriage, it is usually the children who must pick it up. Thus, when it comes to happiness, more must be considered than the couple.
All that said, noting that some people go on to great fulfillment in second marriages and even come into the Church or grow in holiness, cannot be wholly disregarded. There may be indications that God is offering blessings in what is objectively problematic. For this pastoral reason and others, the Church is willing to look into the questions of prior marriages and see if there are causes for the nullity of that first marriage. A declaration of nullity is a judgment of the Church that some essential aspect of marriage was lacking in the prior marriage and that it was not “what God has joined together.” There is not space here to fully explain nullity. However, it should be added that the mere happiness of spouses in a current marriage is not a consideration in granting annulments for a prior marriage. Only data regarding the prior marriage are considered.
Both these are true.
That is different that attributing causality and purpose, as you did in your posts.
You are taking true facts and spinning them into what is not there to support an idea you brought to the passage
I do wish you well at the spindle.
Y’all are disecting an insect when a roaring lion is at your door. Satan has divided you over something that the creator of heaven and earth and Jesus himself would tell you its how you treat each other and accepting the blood of Jesus as the only way to the father. Not by following marriage guidleines and not doing this or by doing that. Lets all lut these differences behind us and love one another, counsel people who are going to be married and leave those who have already divorced and possibly remarried alone. lead them to Christ, don’t make them run some obstacle course to get saved. Following Jesus is as simple as John 14:6. and romans 3:28
Take all the passages about divorce and remarriage and consolidate them. The Messiah is against divorce and remarriage and called it adultery.
Believe as you will. Be convinced in your own mind, “as to the Lord.”
Christ said there was only one legitimate reason for divorce - adultery.
And even then, it is not God’s highest desire, nor is it required. It is just allowed as an option.
I accept His Word in its simplest expression.
Jesus would not punish the one who was pure in heart.
Where does it say one pays for another’s sin?
I choose to follow the Word. Not some man’s who thinks he is God.
You are always right to follow His Word above what men say.
If you were wronged by adultery, God knows.
Exactly. There is no way God would punish the pure in heart.
My father was abusive. I don’t feel I have to pay for what he did.
That is what the CC is doing in this case. Blaming the victim.
God knows your pain and history and cares deeply for you.
Enough to die for us.
You chose to promote the calling out people for sins they didn't know they were committing.
If a person makes the mistake of getting divorced it does not separate him/her from God, and if that person remarries not knowing the word of God, it does not separate them from God.
Running around and causing discourse among your fellow brethren in Christ, that's a sin. You are using the Name of God to do evil. It's a Direct violation of the 3rd commandment. You shall not use the Lords name in vain. Proper translation is you shall not use the Lords name for evil purposes.
You cats can be some evil people., need we discuss the Inquisition? what the Spaniards did to the new world? what Pedro Menéndez de Avilés did to the french in st. Augustine? Love your brother. and keep your Spanish inquisition into marriage and divorce to yourselves.
By reading this thread the only way for a remarried person to go to your church is for them to commit another grievous sin by getting divorced AGAIN to live your catholic "free from sin go to heaven life". sheese you all have a silly god.
I was lost, but now I'm found, baptized in 1991. Once saved always saved.
Nobody ever told you "works without faith is dead? " or "faith without love is dead?"
“The fact is the word for “adultery” was not used in the passages as an exception for, but only as the result of, divorce and remarriage in Matthew’s Gospel (it is porneia).”
“Matthew 19:9 (TCENB): porneia is a broad term that covers many different sexual sins that lie outside God’s will. This conclusion rests on the meaning of the word. These sexual sins, fornication, would include homosexuality, bestiality, premarital sex, incest, adultery, and perhaps others.”
-TCC
Best
That stance is not very popular in the Christian community, to say the least, but it is correct, and should be fully endorsed by a person claiming spiritual maturity. I know the cost of proper behavior personally, because I have experienced it for 46 years now, and I am very glad I have taken the path that is just in God's eyes.
Remarriage adultery is a deep sin, as is the acceptance, permission, and promotion of it by Christian leaders or counselors.
From my study of scripture, I disagree with you...Perhaps you can shed some light on where I maybe be wrong...
While it's good to know what Jesus taught to those who were under the law those teachings have nothing to do with the church...While people use those scriptures to condemn those who have remarried may forget that just lusting after another woman/man is equally as sinful as doing the act itself...Thank God, we as Christians are not under the law, but Grace...
Rom 4:8 Blessed is the man to whom the Lord will not impute sin.
One might wonder why people should bother with those scriptures about marriage that have been referenced in Matt., Mark and Luke then...
Unknown to Catholics and many others, after the church is gone, Jesus will be living over there in Jerusalem reigning over the Earth for a thousand years...There will be millions of people thruout the world that those marriage rules will apply to...Much in the Old Testament was written about that future period of time...
The guidelines for marriage in the church were given to Paul (who informed Peter and the other apostles)... This is how I read what Paul says:
1Co 7:6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
So Paul says he got permission to say this but at the same time this is not a commandment...
1Co 7:7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
1Co 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
1Co 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
If we're going to lust after women, we need to find someone to marry...
1Co 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
1Co 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
Clear instructions for the Christian couple...If you have a spat with the spouse, don't get divorced over it...If you're lousy at handling money, don't get divorced over it...
1Co 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
If you spouse is a non believer and you can still function well as husband and wife, continue on continuing on...
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
1Co 7:25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.
1Co 7:26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
Paul again gave his opinion and he continues:
1Co 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
Paul says if we are married, don't seek a divorce...However, if your Christian husband beats you and your kids on a daily basis before you have reached the age of 21, let's say, are you to stay with him regardless, or leave him but never get divorced...And never have a relationship for the rest of your life...Are you condemned to raise your children on your own and live a life of poverty from a failed marriage that 'God put together, let nothing divide it asunder??? Not according to Paul...This is a continuation of the last verse:
1Co 7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
This is 'if thou marry, a second time'...Paul is already speaking to a married couple...AND, if a virgin marries one who has previously been married, he/she has not sinned either...
What say you to that???
Unless you convert to Catholicism.. then you are going to hell because ..like, God hates divorce and you are an adulterer if you remarry.
once again I bring up the point, counsel those about to be married about the seriousness of marriage .
Iscool,
I appreciate your good post.
What came before the church can benefit the church, but it isn’t about the church, unless a specific prophecy.
“Art thou loosed from a wife?”
If divorce didn’t end a marriage, you would not be “loosed.”
Nor would the Apostle say you could be remarried.
Well the one who didn’t commit adultery doesn’t need to repent.
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