The neighbors probably didnât know what to think as they looked out their windows at me one wintry day. I was standing in the driveway with a garden shovel clutched in my hands, whacking wildly and angrily at a clump of ice that had formed beneath a corner gutter. With each smack, I was uttering prayers that were variations on one theme: âI canât do this.â âYou canât expect me to do this.â âI donât have the strength to do this.â As a caregiver, with a long list of responsibilities to handle, I now had this ice to deal with, and I had had enough!
My anger was wrapped around a bundle of lies: âI deserve better than this.â âGod isnât enough after all.â âNobody cares anyway.â But when we choose to cling to our anger, we become mired in the trap of bitterness, never moving forward. And the only cure for anger is truth.
The truth is that God does not give us what we deserve; He gives us mercy instead. âYou, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to youâ (Ps. 86:5). The truth is that God is more than enough, despite what we see. The truth is that His strength is sufficient (2 Cor. 12:9). Yet before we can find such reassurance, we may need to step back, lay down the shovel of our own efforts, and take Jesusâ hand thatâs extended to us in mercy and grace.
God is big enough to listen to our anger and loving enough to show us, in His time, the path forward.
Shelly Beach is the author of several books, including Precious Lord, Take My Hand: Meditations for Caregivers.
Mercy: Not getting what we do deserve.
The psalms are often read as windows to the soulâsongs that reflect the reality of our emotions and struggles. They encourage us to understand that God can handle our honesty as we express ourselves to Him. Yes, God is big enough to absorb our anger and listen to our complaints, but we must not overlook the context in which the writers of the psalms expressed their feelings. In todayâs passage, over and over David recognizes his place in relationship to God. He acknowledges that he is âpoor and needyâ (v. 1), he is faithful to God and trusts in Him (v. 2), and he is Godâs âservantâ (v. 4). It is important that we understand who we are in relationship to God when we bring our hurts and struggles to Him. J.R. Hudberg