I Hated the Idea of Becoming Catholic

Aleteia ^ | JUNE 20, 2014 | ANTHONY BARATTA

[NYer]

It was the day after Ash Wednesday in 2012 when I called my mom from my dorm room at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and told her I thought I was going to become Catholic.

“You’re not going to become Catholic, you just know you’re not Southern Baptist,” she said.

“No, I don’t think so.”

A pause. “Oh boy,” she sighed.

I started crying.

I cannot stress enough how much I hated the idea of becoming Catholic. I was bargaining to the last moment. I submitted a sermon for a competition days before withdrawing from school. I was memorizing Psalm 119 to convince myself of sola scriptura. I set up meetings with professors to hear the best arguments. I purposefully read Protestant books about Catholicism, rather than books by Catholic authors.

Further, I knew I would lose my housing money and have to pay a scholarship back if I withdrew from school, not to mention disappointing family, friends, and a dedicated church community.

But when I attempted to do my homework, I collapsed on my bed. All I wanted to do was scream at the textbook, “Who says?!”

I had experienced a huge paradigm shift in my thinking about the faith, and the question of apostolic authority loomed larger than ever.

But let’s rewind back a few years.

I grew up in an evangelical Protestant home. My father was a worship and preaching pastor from when I was in fourth grade onwards. Midway through college, I really fell in love with Jesus Christ and His precious Gospel and decided to become a pastor.

It was during that time that I was hardened in my assumption that the Roman Catholic Church didn’t adhere to the Bible. When I asked one pastor friend of mine during my junior year why Catholics thought Mary remained a virgin after Jesus’ birth when the Bible clearly said Jesus had “brothers,” he simply grimaced: “They don’t read the Bible.”

Though I had been in talks with Seattle’s Mars Hill Church about doing an internship with them, John Piper’s book Don’t Waste Your Life clarified my call to missionary work specifically, and I spent the next summer evangelizing Catholics in Poland.

So I was surprised when I visited my parents and found a silly looking book titled Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic on my father’s desk. What was my dad doing reading something like this? I was curious and hadn’t brought anything home to read, so I gave it a look.

David Currie’s memoir of leaving behind his evangelical education and ministries was bothersome. His unapologetic defense of controversial doctrines regarding Mary and the papacy were most shocking, as I had never seriously considered that Catholics would have sensible, scriptural defenses to these beliefs.

The book’s presence on my father’s desk was explained more fully a few months later when he called me and said he was returning to the Catholicism of his youth. My response? “But, can’t you just be Lutheran or something?” I felt angry, betrayed, and indignant. For the next four months I served as a youth pastor at my local church and, in my free time, read up on why Catholicism was wrong.

During that time, I stumbled across a Christianity Today article that depicted an “evangelical identity crisis.” The author painted a picture of young evangelicals, growing up in a post-modern world, yearning to be firmly rooted in history and encouraged that others had stood strong for Christ in changing and troubled times. Yet, in my experience, most evangelical churches did not observe the liturgical calendar, the Apostles’ Creed was never mentioned, many of the songs were written after 1997, and if any anecdotal story was told about a hero from church history, it was certainly from after the Reformation. Most of Christian history was nowhere to be found.

For the first time, I panicked. I found a copy of the Catechism and started leafing through it, finding the most controversial doctrines and laughing at the silliness of the Catholic Church. Indulgences? Papal infallibility? These things, so obviously wrong, reassured me in my Protestantism. The Mass sounded beautiful and the idea of a visible, unified Church was appealing - but at the expense of the Gospel? It seemed obvious that Satan would build a large organization that would lead so many just short of heaven.

I shook off most of the doubts and enjoyed the remainder of my time at college, having fun with the youth group and sharing my faith with the students. Any lingering doubts, I assumed, would be dealt with in seminary.

I started my classes in January with the excitement of a die-hard football fan going to the Super Bowl. The classes were fantastic and I thought I had finally rid myself of any Catholic problems.

But just a few weeks later, I ran into more doubts. We were learning about spiritual disciplines like prayer and fasting and I was struck by how often the professor would skip from St. Paul to Martin Luther or Jonathan Edwards when describing admirable lives of piety. Did nothing worthwhile happen in the first 1500 years? The skipping of history would continue in many other classes and assigned reading. The majority of pre-Reformation church history was ignored.

I soon discovered I had less in common with the early Church fathers than I thought. Unlike most Christians in history, communion had always been for me an occasional eating of bread and grape juice, and baptism was only important after someone had gotten “saved.” Not only did these views contradict much of Church history but, increasingly, they did not match with uncomfortable Bible passages I had always shrugged off (John 6, Romans 6, etc).

Other questions that I had buried began to reappear, no longer docile but ferocious, demanding an answer. Where did the Bible come from? Why didn’t the Bible claim to be “sufficient”? The Protestant answers that had held me over in the last year were no longer satisfying.

Jefferson Bethke’s viral YouTube video, “Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus,” was released during this time. The young man meant well, but to me he only validated what the Wall Street Journal called “the dangerous theological anarchy of young evangelicals,” attempting to remove Jesus from the confines of religion but losing so much in the process.

Ash Wednesday was the tipping point. A hip Southern Baptist church in Louisville held a morning Ash Wednesday service and many students showed up to classes with ashes on their forehead. At chapel that afternoon, a professor renowned for his apologetic efforts against Catholicism expounded upon the beauty of this thousand year old tradition.

Afterwards, I asked a seminary friend why most evangelicals had rejected this beautiful thing. He responded with something about Pharisees and “man-made traditions.”

I shook my head. “I can’t do this anymore.”

My resistance to Catholicism started to fade. I was feeling drawn to the sacraments, sacramentals, physical manifestations of God’s grace, the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church. No more borrowing, no more denying.

It was the next day that I called my mom and told her I thought I was going to become Catholic.

I didn’t go to classes on Friday. I went to the seminary library and checked out books I had previously forbidden myself to look at too closely, like the Catechism and Pope Benedict’s latest. I felt like I was checking out porn. Later, I drove to a 5pm Saturday Mass. The gorgeous crucifix at the front of the church reminded me of when I had mused that crucifixes demonstrated that Catholics didn’t really understand the resurrection.

But I saw the crucifix differently this time and began crying. “Jesus, my suffering savior, you’re here.”

A peace came over me until Tuesday, when it yielded to face-to-windshield reality. Should I stay or leave? I had several panicked phone calls: “I literally have no idea what I am going to do tomorrow morning.”

On Wednesday morning I woke up, opened my laptop, and typed out “77 Reasons I Am Leaving Evangelicalism.” The list included things like sola scriptura, justification, authority, the Eucharist, history, beauty, and continuity between the Old and New Testament. The headlines and the ensuing paragraphs flowed from my fingers like water bursting from a centuries-old dam. 

A few hours later on February 29, 2012 I slipped out of Louisville, Kentucky, eager to not confuse anyone else and hoping I wasn’t making a mistake.  

The next few months were painful. More than anything else I felt ashamed and defensive, uncertain of how so much of my identity and career path could be upended so quickly. Nonetheless, I joined the Church on Pentecost with the support of my family and started looking for work.

So much has changed since then. I met Jackie on CatholicMatch.com that June, got married a year later, and celebrated the birth of our daughter, Evelyn, on March 3rd, 2014. We’re now in Indiana and I’m happy at my job.

I’m still very new on this Catholic journey. To all inquirers out there, I can tell you that my relationship with God has deepened and strengthened. As I get involved in our parish, I’m so thankful for the love of evangelism and the Bible that I learned in Protestantism.

I have not so much left my former faith as I have filled in the gaps. I thank God for the fullness of the Catholic faith.

[Springfield Reformer]

LOL! It’s my fault for how I wrote the post. The whole thing is an exercise in demonstrating exactly what you said. Read it again with that in mind and it should become clear I’m actually arguing against the genetic fallacy Catholics sometimes use to define and categorize non-Catholics. I could have been more clear. Sorry for any confusion.

[editor-surveyor]

Check your concordance.

Peter used a different word.

And your dismissal of Yeshua’s plain words is indicative of your intent on this.

Using Peter speaking of the Mikvah as an argument to refute Yeshua speaking of the incorruptible body is insane.

.

[Resettozero]

The "catholic" concept came much, much later and was never instituted by Jesus or His disciples that personally knew him as far as the Holy Scriptures are concerned.

Ya know, I've wondered about that word in the Creed. Would like one more confirmation of this but I'm ready to drop it now...the word "catholic".

Livin' and learnin'.

Thank you. Carry on.

[Mark17]

I was raised in Methodism, sired by the Anglican priest John Wesley, which has the distinct flavor of Romanism still clinging to it, and long ago left its influence. I'm clinging to the Christ of the Cross, and reject catholicism in any flavor.

Thanks for the insight bro. Now you know what I felt like, with my experience, before I got "rdmd" I was one of those who who was ever learning, but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Thank God for the Navigators and their witness. I finally was able to come to the knowledge of the truth. I was finally able to get rid of "religion" and establish a relationship. One thing that I thought, and maybe you can identify with this too, that even before I got saved, He was never very far from me. I think you understand my rejection of religions, such as those started by the likes of Joe Smith, Charles T Russell, Mary Baker Eddy, Felix Y Manalo or Apollo C Quiboloy. I used to go round and round with the church of Manalo people. They epitomize the concept of "ever learning but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." I have yet to go toe to toe with Quiboloy's people, but I flatly reject their theology too. I had never even heard of that chump until a few months ago, but their doctrine is demonic. Later

[editor-surveyor]

Thank you for your participation, Mr. Green Jeans.

Your allergies are duly noted.

I’ll pray for your healing.
.

[CynicalBear]

They are both talking about being “born again”. The Spiritual birth. Jesus was not talking about he “incorruptible body”. He was talking about the same Spiritual rebirth as we find in 1 Peter and other places.

[Elsie]

( This is the Torah that Moses placed before the Israelites—the mouth of the LORD at the hand of Moses.)

THIS is the letter that the CHURCH delivered to the Gentiles:

Acts 15:22-31

The Council’s Letter to Gentile Believers

 ²² Then the apostles and elders, with the whole church, decided to choose some of their own men and send them to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas. They chose Judas (called Barsabbas) and Silas, men who were leaders among the believers. ²³ With them they sent the following letter:

   The apostles and elders, your brothers,

   To the Gentile believers in Antioch, Syria and Cilicia:

   Greetings.

 ²⁴ We have heard that some went out from us without our authorization and disturbed you, troubling your minds by what they said. ²⁵ So we all agreed to choose some men and send them to you with our dear friends Barnabas and Paul— ²⁶ men who have risked their lives for the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. ²⁷ Therefore we are sending Judas and Silas to confirm by word of mouth what we are writing. ²⁸ It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything beyond the following requirements: ²⁹ You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things.

   Farewell.

 ³⁰ So the men were sent off and went down to Antioch, where they gathered the church together and delivered the letter. ³¹ The people read it and were glad for its encouraging message.

 

[Elsie]

You’ve noticed that too; eh?

[Elsie]

Plus indeed!

[Elsie]

How DARE you simplify the Message!!!

[Elsie]

... I was just too polite to say; “Shut up.”

Every journey beings with the first step.

[Elsie]

(to which the Methodists also subscribe),

some of...

[Elsie]

Here he was feigning ignorance to hide his surprise to think that he, a devout Jew, was lacking in anything God required.

Well; I'll not try to discern N's motives at this late date; but there are a LOT of FReepers in this thread that think only THEY have what GOD requires.

[Resettozero]

Thank you for your participation, Mr. Green Jeans. Your allergies are duly noted. I’ll pray for your healing.

Honest, I have no idea what you've been trying to get through to me. We just are speaking different languages today and I do not have an interpreter handy.

Not trying to be dense; I just am naturally...frequently.

[Elsie]

But His Kingdom will come. We pray for it all the time.. it may be a rather rude awakening when it does come for most.

will...

[Elsie]

For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel...

WHAT???

You NEED to be baptized to be SAVED!!!!!!

[delchiante]

I am not sure what ‘we’ you are referring to Resetto..

I try to use ‘we’ as a body of believers.

I suspect.none of this talk is important to those who don’t see Genesis to Revelation as Truth.

Sorry about that.

[Popman]

The thief on the cross might disagree....

Unless you think Jesus lied to him....

[editor-surveyor]

Its unfortunate that you don't have better understanding of God's word.

Yeshua definitely was directly explaning the new, incorruptible body that one must have to enter the kingdom.

The same body that Paul spoke of

1Corinthians 15:

[52] In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.
[53] For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality.
[54] So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory.

Peter was definitely not speaking of this, he was speaking of the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

At the time that Yeshua spoke to Nicodemus, Judah had no knowledge of the coming gift of the spirit, so Yeshua would have had zero reason to ridicule Nicodemus for not knowing of it.

.

[BipolarBob]

Well; I'll not try to discern N's motives at this late date

Ol' St. Nic was a spiritual leader of Israel for crying out loud. He would be familiar with the concept of a spiritual re-birthing event. Their nation had plenty of them in the their history. As a member of the Sanhedrin it was his job to know these things. Give the guy some credit.