How a Megachurch Worked Through the Situation When a Church Leader Came Out as Gay

Christian Post ^ | March 9, 2014 | Morgan Lee

[Gamecock]

In the past decade, many Evangelical churches across the country have increasingly had to wrestle with how to engage members of their congregation who identify as LGBT. But this dilemma has not remained only at the lay level.

In 2012, the leadership staff at the southern California megachurch, Calvary Community Church (CCC), had to grapple with their church's convictions on homosexuality, when Kevin McCloskey, one of the members of the executive team revealed that he was gay and that he would be also be divorcing his wife of 17 years.

Executive Pastor Curtis Johnson declined to speak specifically with The Christian Post about the McCloskey case but agreed to share a more general perspective about how church leadership approached the situation, which resulted in McCloskey's termination. Referring to his former colleague multiple times during the interview as a "friend" and "good guy," Johnson said that CCC leadership sought to make its decision through the lens of its mission.

"[Our church] is striving to live and love like Jesus, the Jesus of the Scriptures, the Son of God, who embodies both truth and grace in fullness. [This] is what we try to emulate when we live and love like Jesus," said Johnson.

Johnson and senior pastor Shawn Thornton engaged McCloskey after he confronted them about his homosexuality. In an essay for the Advocate, the former church leader wrote that he and his bosses "had very good conversations. They were shocked to learn about my sexual orientation and were genuinely concerned for my family and me and all we were going through."

The church stopped short affirming McCloskey's desire to be in a relationship with another man and did not stray from its convictions that that the "lifestyle of homosexuality" was a "sin," though Johnson said that he did not see it as more egregious than pride or acting on heterosexual feelings of lust.

Indeed, Doug Lemen, CCC's Director of Welcome and Connections, said that one message that the church wanted to send to McCloskey was that he as a "person still has tremendous value."

Speaking more generally, he added, "[They have] tremendous value to Christ and to us and that can't be discounted in whatever happens because…they are who they are and they are to us someone whom we have grown to cherish, care for, admire, etc. So I would say [making that point] really becomes the struggle."

"It's not a discount," Lemen added. "It's still someone who is part of your family and whatever happens in a situation like this or others that could be of another nature, it is still a part of your family that you are dealing in a level of separation."

Johnson used the example of CCC's homeless ministry to illustrate one of the lessons that experience had taught him in the process.

"One thing we've grown in is not to make our determinations on a category or a label of what would be people. Take the label 'homeless'…not all homeless people are the same. Not by a long shot. Some are temporary, some are long term, there are various reasons why people are homeless, and yet, at that point in time they all be homeless but they are very, very different."

"We at CCC open doors to category but we minister to them individually. Some are so warm and the story is heartbreaking, and some might be gaming the system and have being doing so for years, but our doors are open to both of them," said Johnson.

Johnson warned against "labels [which] turn into politics. That is not something that we want to be engaged with. We want to be engaged with theology of the heart of what God wants."

While CCC leadership stands by its decision to terminate McCloskey, it has not been an easy one for the former church leader to swallow.

One of the things that perplexed him most was that throughout the time that he was struggling silently with his sexual orientation, McCloskey was simultaneously moving up in his position at the church, and when he confronted Thornton and Johnson, the church was on the verge of creating its own team for him to manage.

"It can't be true that someone who is gay is turning their back on God and at the same time being blessed in ministry and being heaped upon with promotions and responsibilities," McCloskey said.

"None of it was fake. I was being my true self. I believed in the calling of the work I was doing there, and I think all the people that I worked with, and all the pastoral staff felt the same way," he added.

For the former church leader, the core of his frustrations came from the failure of the church leaders to "find ways to love the gay community, to embrace them, and maybe even find ways to disagree with them." Instead, McCloskey said during his tenure at CCC, he had watched it keep individuals who had had previous gay experiences from serving in church leadership, volunteering or becoming members.

McCloskey questioned why the church could not treat the LGBT population in the same way it treated those who had been divorced.

"The church doesn't want anyone to get a divorce. There is much more teaching in the Bible about divorce and the dangers of getting a divorce and the few exceptions when divorce is allowed but almost everyone in the church has experienced divorce at some level. There were a number of people on our staff who had gone through a divorce and were still on our staff team," said McCloskey.

"But the church has not said, 'You're not welcome here.' 'You can't become a member here,'" he said. "In fact, they have created ministries to walk along side of people who have gotten a divorce and to care for them and to love them and to help them feel not alone."

McCloskey believes there is a way for the church to "continue to have its stance, which is 'We don't believe that God has ordained gay relationships'," but welcome in the LGBT population.

"[The church could say,] 'If you as a thinking, Bible-believing person have come do a different conclusions, we can respect you, we can welcome, we can walk along side you, we can support you. We may draw a line at marriage, but why we can't disagree on that topic when there's lots of others that we disagree on and still allow each other to serve side by side?'" asked McCloskey.

"These are loving people at Calvary. I know them well. Many of them are my friends. But I think when it comes to this issue it stems from a lot of fear and fear of the unknown," he added.

[Gamecock]

YBPDLN* Ping List Ping!

The YBPDLN Ping List is generally published infrequently but based on the exploits of the megachurch pastors posts can spike for a season. If you would like on or off of this list please FReepmail me.

Because 18,000 People Can’t Be Wrong!

*YBPDLN=Your Best Purpose Driven Life Now

[Steely Tom]

“We do have some challenges, but we’re working through them.”

[AppyPappy]

Bottom Line: He is abandoning his wife for another lover. That should disqualify him.
And I am not buying the gay stuff. He married a woman for Pete’s sake. There had to be some attraction.
However, he will still be the husband of one wife in accordance with 1 Tim 3.

[aMorePerfectUnion]

I don’t see how you could possibly “welcome in the LGWhatever community” if they are proclaiming they are living in sin and proud of it. They certainly could attend, but couldn’t meet requirements for membership.

[missnry]

McCloskey questioned why the church could not treat the LGBT population in the same way it treated those who had been divorced.

The Bible does not label divorce as "sin." The Bible clearly and emphatically states sodomy is sin.

[Pollster1]

In the past decade, many Evangelical churches across the country have increasingly had to wrestle with how to engage members of their congregation who identify as LGBT. But this dilemma has not remained only at the lay level.

I don't see a question here. How do Evangelical churches engage Christians who are tempted by greed? By adultery? By pride? By other sins? The Bible is perfectly clear and unambiguous on sin and especially on the question of sexual immorality.

Jesus said "let he who is without sin throw the first stone" but he also said "go and sin no more". It is not okay for me to condemn those who are tempted by different sins than I am, but it is also not okay to give in to those urges or to pretend that violating God's Word is okay, let alone something to celebrate.

[ModelBreaker]

“It can’t be true that someone who is gay is turning their back on God and at the same time being blessed in ministry and being heaped upon with promotions and responsibilities,” McCloskey said.

Really?

[vpintheak]

It’s a mental disaorder. I would not trust advice from any homosexual person, period. Especially one who isn’t repentant. It’s a sin and unrepentant sinners are to be cast out of the congregation.

[AppyPappy]

I think you better read what Jesus said about divorce. If you remarry, it is adultery.

[GeronL]

Have they repented? Are they sorry about what they did?

Why did I not see the word “repent” in this article

[redleghunter]

The YBPDLN Ping List is generally published infrequently

LOL you are going to have to fix that. I have seen the ping twice in the last 12 hours:)

[boatbums]

"[The church could say,] 'If you as a thinking, Bible-believing person have come do a different conclusions, we can respect you, we can welcome, we can walk along side you, we can support you. We may draw a line at marriage, but why we can't disagree on that topic when there's lots of others that we disagree on and still allow each other to serve side by side?'" asked McCloskey. "These are loving people at Calvary. I know them well. Many of them are my friends. But I think when it comes to this issue it stems from a lot of fear and fear of the unknown," he added.

Sorry, McCloskey, homosexual acts are called an ABOMINATION by our Creator God and it simply is not a different "interpretation" that everyone should just tolerate and try to get along with your unnatural, depraved and shameful impurity (see Romans 1). If you were carrying on an extramarital sexual affair with a woman, you would be - and should be - ostracized and your place of leadership in the church taken away. This action - put into place BY God - is designed to bring you to repentance, abandoning your sinful life, and to restore you to fellowship. It is a disciplinary DUTY of church leaders designed to help ALL its members lead holy and God-honoring lives. You can't wink at sin.

Maybe one day this former leader will come to his senses and be grateful for the love and caring of his fellow church members who would not let his sinful life choices slip by as if they didn't matter for all eternity.

[Salvation]

If you are divorced and marry someone else, either you cause your former spouse to commit adultery, or you are committing adultery.

It’s in the Bible!

[Rides_A_Red_Horse]

Nothing that happens involving a “Mega-Church” surprises me.

Homosexual Acts are sinful. “Being Homeless” is not sinful.

Jeez!

[Coldwater Creek]

The Bible says that God hates divorce.

[AppyPappy]

Exactly. And he hates adultery just as much.
But some of the most religious people I know are divorced and remarried.
My brother is gay and he’s never even dated a woman. I’m not buying the “Gay but married” thing.

[yldstrk]

I just despise the idea of people destroying their families for sex

[missnry]

I have read the Bible... so many divorcees are treated as though they committed an abominable sin when they divorce.

The act of divorcing someone is not a sin:

Jeremiah 3:8 "And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel, I had sent her away and given her a writ of divorce, yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear; but she went and was a harlot also. It is impossible for God to sin yet He gave Israel a writ of divorce.

When a person is in an abusive relationship God does not expect that person to remain in that relationship. The covenant was broken by the abuser. It is true that God hates divorce because it destroys the family. We should abhor divorce. We should also make the decision through the eyes of God. There is a time where divorce is necessary.

[Salvation]

If you have read the Bible then you have read this passage, which says that remarrying and adultery are connected.

Gospel Mk 10:1-12

Jesus came into the district of Judea and across the Jordan.
Again crowds gathered around him and, as was his custom,
he again taught them.
The Pharisees approached him and asked,
“Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?”
They were testing him.
He said to them in reply, “What did Moses command you?”
They replied,
“Moses permitted a husband to write a bill of divorce
and dismiss her.”
But Jesus told them,
“Because of the hardness of your hearts
he wrote you this commandment.
But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.
So they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together,
no human being must separate.”
In the house the disciples again questioned Jesus about this.
He said to them,
“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another
commits adultery against her;
and if she divorces her husband and marries another,
she commits adultery.”