Posted on 07/13/2013 11:03:47 AM PDT by ReformationFan
Episcopal Church gays and lesbians are weighing a resolution to be put forward at the next General Convention making it illegal for straight white males to be admitted to the priesthood.
LA Bishop Mary Glasspool, an avowed lesbian and one of many lesbians and gays supporting the "no white males resolution", crafted her resolution after hearing a straight white male preaching a sermon condemning homosexual behavior last month.
"I was shocked, stunned, blown away and mortified. I have never heard such homophobia coming from a pulpit. That was my moment to say enough is enough.
"This comes down to a choice between misogynistic white males versus gays and lesbians in an ever shrinking church and LGBTQI folk who insist they should be able to get laid by whomever, whenever because G-d loves them just the way they are, and we choose justice, inclusion and integrity."
Bishop Glasspool said she has the support of bishops like Gene Robinson, Otis Charles, Frank Griswold, clergy like Susan Russell and pedophiles and sexual abusers like Bede Parry and many more gays who have yet to come out of the closet. She said the resolution would keep out men who only had a penile interest in women, hate-mongers, homophobes, and other gay hating types. She said she was deeply moved by the late Ronald Haines Bishop of Washington who unofficially adopted that policy when he was bishop there. It worked so well the diocese is now being largely sustained financially by the Soper Fund.
"Straight white males are only good for breeding future gays if we can screw up the family relationships early enough in their lives, but we do not want them preaching, running churches, and definitely not bishop material, it's an insult to our dignity and integrity," opined Glasspool.
But a straight white bishop, the Rt. Rev. Gregory Brewer (CF), believes that the total ban on straight white males goes "too far". He is proposing a less draconian resolution that would allow some white men who love women to remain in the Episcopal Church as associate rectors and vicars.
Glasspool concurred. "The Episcopal Church needs white males to clean up the refreshments in the kitchen on Sunday morning after the service is over. Men can clean the pews and the elements and lick plates in case the water is turned off because of an unpaid water bill," said Glasspool, noting that a large number of churches bordered on extinction owing to the collapse of heterosexual marriages.
"If they show that they can do those things and stay out of church politics, there might just be a pathway to ordination if they behave themselves and subject themselves to women priests some of whom have strong sado-masochistic tendencies."
2 questions: what the heck is QI? and what the h*ll is wrong with these people?
This is of course satire. However what would you expect from a cult that was founded by the decadent Henry VIII ?
Its tagged as humor, but not too far from reality .
There is a very good reason why we walked away from this, and why my husband is an Anglican priest in the Anglican Church in North America.
The goal of this crew is drive away as many believers as possible while keeping the resources.
Imagine having a congregation of 50 aging liberals. You conduct one service per week - one hour's work.
In return, you are paid over $100,000 per year, you live rent-free in a lavish home, you drive a parish car, you have unlimited free time and a gold-plated retirement and health package.
All you need is a majority of the parish trustees and a cooperative bishop and you are on the gravy train for life.
Dear Queer Giraffes,
Due to the discriminatory nature of sexual organs, congress has determined in fairness that all fetuses are to be genetically altered as gender neutral. Opposition parties have supported the measure in that it provides if you like your gender, you can keep it.
Thank you for your continued support in upcoming elections,
The Ruling Class
It's a ploy. To force mainstream Christian churches to allow LGBT's as pastors.
Whatever ammunition is used against them in this case will be returned when churches refuse to recognize minority males turned females as candidates for the priesthood.
The frightening thing is that so many don’t assume this IS satire because it rings so true of many mainstream denominations now.
I think they don’t need a resolution, it’s pretty much the case already.
are you commenting from the cult of catholicism?
always thought it was Satans church anyway..
“Q” is for Questioning
“I” is for Intersex - someone who has both male and female sex organs.
When ECUSA rejected the Bible and allowed homosexuals to be Bishops, everyone I knew bailed. Now ECUSA lies about membership, is selling off assets, and is still exploring the boundaries of sexual perversion. Look for bestiality and child sex to follow.
That’s precisely the case.
Churches have always attracted rent-seekers of a certain type. In this case excess money and no outside feedback seems to have corrupted it completely. They can in fact run their scam for as long as they like, even if their congregations decline into triviality.
In the old days the Anglicans came close to this, being not answerable to their congregations or communities, but arguably were kept out of trouble as the local landowners had the authority to appoint local clergymen. Often abused for political reasons or to give ne’er do well younger sons something to do, but most often exercised responsibly. Kept the institution tied closely both to the people and the aristocracy.
This system broke down there, with the decline of the aristocracy, and the infection spread.
When other churches or religions suffer from corrupt episodes though, the “media” notices. A mafia living off the Episcopal corpse doesn’t seem to have attracted much notice.
I guess you didn’t notice the words “humor” and “satire”.
"If they show that they can do those things and stay out of church politics, there might just be a pathway to ordination if they behave themselves and subject themselves to women priests some of whom have strong sado-masochistic tendencies."
Glasspool added, they will also be required to:
1. Memorize, and be able to recite fully, the Vagina Monologues, one of the additional books to our bible.
2. Begin their conversion to the female gender within months, and carry around a Church ID card with a picture clearly depicting what their new Vagina will look like.
Strict guidelines will be applied, i.e., no bikini waxes/trims, etc. A full and natural Vagina hair patch will be required to be maintained at all times, along with equivalent armpit hair -- and inspections will be performed, to compare their Vagina ID to their newly acquired Vagina, on a schedule defined by their female bishop.
However, to show that we are more merciful than God, we will allow the men to comb their Vagina patch, parted down the middle -- but NO combovers, hair tinting, or spiked hair styles will be allowed!
3. All additional rules to be identified in the upcoming "Lesbian Women Aren't Going To Take Any More Guff From God!" conference next month in San Francisco, USA. It is a George Soros/Barak Obama sponsored event.
The gentleman wasn't simply volunteering his opinion about same-sex sexual relationships ma'am. The Holy Bible clearly condemns such relationships. In fact, Romans 1:22-27 indicates that such relationships are a consequence of idolatry, disobedience of the 1st Commandment.
Yeah, I’m sorry but they are really a mess. Thanks for explaining those QI things to me.
What the Episcopal Church has allowed itself to become, I sense will not go down well on the other side.
King Henry VIII: the original host of “Queen For A Day”!
The best satire is that which skates closest to the unbelievable truth.
If the Episcofaggies aren’t saying it, they’re d@mn well thinking it.
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