When attending Mass becomes an occasion of sin

To Renew America ^ | August 20, 2011 | Matt C. Abbott

[markomalley]

From Jim Baltrinic (slightly edited):

'This post consists of excerpts from a letter I wrote to the pastor of a Catholic parish about a certain incident that occurred at his church. I have omitted all references as to the church's location. The church is semi-circular in design, and we were sitting in the last pew near the center isle, which afforded us a clear view of almost the entire congregation. I started my letter with a compliment as to how nice the newly-remodeled church looked. I then ask the pastor to please consider the following hypothetical situation.



'A priest enters the confessional for the usual Saturday morning or afternoon confession time. During this time a young man enters the confessional. 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.' From the sound of the voice on the other side of the screen, the priest surmises that the person is a teenager or young adult. The confession continues: 'It was a week since my last confession. I'm guilty of many lustful thoughts, and I looked at some very immodestly dressed women more times than I should have.'



'The priest asks, 'Were these impure thoughts related to these women you looked at'?



''Yes,' replies the young man.



'The priest: 'Why did you continue to look at them? Why didn't you go someplace else, away from them?'



''I couldn't,' said the young man. 'They were in front of me and I was kind of hemmed in by the crowd.'



'The priest: 'Why were you in such a place to begin with? Do you remember that we are to avoid places that may be an occasion of sin?'



'The young man answers, "Yes, Father, I know that, but I had to be there.'



'The priest, somewhat puzzled, then asks: 'Why did you have to be there, and where were you: at the beach; at a sporting event?'



''No, Father,' said the young man, 'I was at your noon Mass last Sunday, and two scantily-dressed girls were sitting in the pew right in front of me, along with their parents. I couldn't move because my parents were on either side of me.'



'While I said that the above story was hypothetical, in reality it is not. The Mass in question took place this past July at a prominent Catholic parish in a town my wife and I were visiting. It was the main Mass of the day and the church was quite full.



'The young man in the confessional could have been any one of the many young men in the church. The two 'scantily clad' girls were real and were sitting about six pews in front of us with their parents.



'From the area where we were sitting, we observed, in addition to the two girls mentioned above, approximately a dozen very immodestly dressed women, with the majority of these being young girls in their teens and early twenties. Bare backs and shoulders, low-cut tops, strapless sun suits, short shorts, mini-skirts and tight-fitting tops were plainly visible.



'Two years ago, at a parish in northern Virginia, we experienced an almost identical incident at Sunday Mass. We were sitting in our pew when a home-schooling family came in and took a place several pews ahead of us. They had two sons around age 10 and three younger daughters. A few minutes later, two young girls, of about the same age and manner of dress as the two described above, came in and sat in the pew directly in front of this family. However, in this case, the parents quickly recognized the spiritual danger these two improperly dressed girls posed for their children, and they immediately got up and moved to another part of the church.



'It is a sad state of affairs when going to Sunday Mass becomes an occasion of sin. I could go on with more such examples, but I think what I have said is sufficient. What we find more lamentable is the fact that, in many cases, such young girls are in the company of their parents. What does this tell us? Simply this: When it comes to modesty in dress, most parents don't have a clue as to what is right.



'Coincidentally, several days later, as I was about half-way through the composition of my letter to the pastor, my wife saw a notice in the bulletin about appropriate dress in church. The notice was good, especially the part about adults giving good example for young children. It did, however, have two shortcomings which are common to such notices. Many times a bulletin notice can be overlooked, and secondly, the notice called for wearing 'appropriate attire.'



'The problem, as I pointed out above, is that most Catholics have a very poor understanding of what 'appropriate attire' means. When it comes to knowing what is or isn't modest, they have no idea. This is because the Church has been silent on this subject for over 40 years.



'At the beginning of summer there should be a strong sermon on this issue with a clear explanation as to what constitutes 'appropriate attire.' This should be followed up with at least a verbal reminder given once a month from the pulpit. Putting an occasional notice in the bulletin just doesn't do it. It should also be emphasized that the standards for modesty apply to everyday dress, not just in church on Sunday. Mention should also be made about the way many parents dress their little girls in skimpy outfits, thus accustoming them to immodesty at a very early age.



'In regard to this particular topic, I feel I'd be remiss if I failed to mention the disgraceful display of immodesty exhibited by brides and their bridal parties at most Catholic weddings today. At a wedding we recently attended, the comment was made that the bride and bridal party looked more like the Playboy Review than an occasion of Holy Matrimony.



'Let me close with the following thought. Someone once asked the mother of St. Maria Goretti how she was able to raise such a [holy] child. She replied, 'By teaching her the virtue of modesty.' How many Maria Goretti's are parishes and Catholic schools producing today?'

[jennings2004]

These occasions are not limited to the Catholic Church, unfortunately.

[353FMG]

That’s the problem when you invite people into the church with the words: “Come as you are.”

So they’re coming in chewing gum, unshaven, wearing shorts and flip-flops, in T-shirts emblazoned with a “Heineken Beer” sign or worse, and the priest is quiet about this display.

Attended a Confirmation ceremony. Many of the female teenagers were dressed as if they just bought their clothing from a ‘Victoria’s Secret’ store. I was embarrassed for the bishop. He said nothing and neither did the parish priest.

How I long for the days of pre-Vatican II.

[stuartcr]

Looking at girls and having lustful thoughts, is really a sin?

[catbertz]

I have experienced this situation at my church. I find my eyes wandering as the sermon drags on. God certainly created beautiful women creatures. Just a peek?

[Morgana]

"''No, Father,' said the young man, 'I was at your noon Mass last Sunday, and two scantily-dressed girls were sitting in the pew right in front of me, along with their parents. I couldn't move because my parents were on either side of me.'

[JeffChrz]

Two stories:

At my former parish (NJ), I was seated in the second row. A young mother sat in the front row with her infant. Her clothes were such that any time she bent over (kneeling, sitting, etc.), her “tramp stamp” was visible.

At my former parish (rural AZ), the bulletin always had a message about modest dress, including a message about no shorts or sandals. I frequently wore shorts and sandals because the temps outside were frequently in the 100s and while the church was air conditioned, we still had to get back in our cars for the 20 mile drive home.

[ArrogantBustard]

Matt 5:
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[e] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Something to think about ...

[Leo Carpathian]

The priest should remind his congregation the proper dress code to respect the place and God.

Ukrainian Catholics (at our church) observe the proper dress code, tie and jacket, no bare shoulders. When people drift away from it, there is always gentle reminder where they are and proper respect.

It is sad to see some people coming for the mass in torn shorts, “NJ Devils” Tee shirts, or like they just got out of the bed.

While they would dress up for restaurant, they don't have time to dress for an hour of worship of our Lord in thanks for all we receive!

[Morgana]

"Looking at girls and having lustful thoughts, is really a sin?"

[Clintons Are White Trash]

Brides find out very quickly that if they wish to be married at the Cathedral Basilica St. Louis they are not allowed to have bare shoulders. I don’t know that all parishes follow that lead but I’m glad that this one does.

[IronJack]

Would Christ have denied His message to anyone based on the way they were dressed? Would you? Isn’t it better these girls be in church dressed inappropriately than not in church at all? Sounds to me like the complainers need to spend more time asking for help with their lustful thoughts and less time judging the admittedly iffy fashion choices of others.

[jboot]

A few years back, a family in our church was invited to light the advent candles. It was the Sunday before Christmas, and each child was given the opportunity to light a candle. The oldest, a very tall and curvy 16 year old girl wearing sprayed-on skinny jeans and a too-short top had to bend down to light the candle on its low stand. When she did so the back of her skintight jeans rode down and revealed a bright green thong and most of her rump. Basically she mooned the congregation.

On another occasion, a different young woman gave a solo while wearing a pencil skirt that was so brief that everyone in the front rows could see her panties. The same girl often attended services while wearing a see-through top over a barely-there minibra.

In both cases the pastor spoke to the parents and was sternly rebuffed. The father of the see-through blouse girl admitted that he had no control over what the girl wore to church and that his wife would take her side if he forced the issue.

I suppose I should just be happy that these girls wore underwear.

[Craftmore]

Doesnt Christ Himself encourage us to come as we are?In fact I believe there are at least 2 instances of people coming to Christ totally naked.Why,,there is even an early prophet described as preaching naked.Is the sin,in our dress?Or is the sin in how we view the person through our sinful eyes?Sounds like someone needs to remove the log from thier own eyes first.

[Carpe Cerevisi]

If you were going to meet an earthly King, you would most likely dress in an appropriate manner. When people go to meet the King of Kings at Mass they dress like they’re going to meet the Kings of Leon.

[airborne]

TTIUWP

[MomwithHope]

At the Carmelite monastery we frequent, the sisters have no qualms about giving a shawl to someone like this and they asked me years ago to make a wrap around brown skirt in case someone comes in with shorts or a short skirt. They present these items with love, explaining with a smile that Jesus is present and the virtues of modesty.If they want to come in the shapel they must cover up.

[jboot]

When I was a little boy, my church (Southern Baptist) used to have a rack of jackets and ties and full-length skirts near the main entrance. If a man came in without a jacket or tie, or a woman came in wearing pants or a miniskirt, an usher would discreetly direct them to the rack.

Obviously, times have changed.

[MomwithHope]

At the Carmelite monastery we frequent, the sisters have no qualms about giving a shawl to someone like this and they asked me years ago to make a wrap around brown skirt in case someone comes in with shorts or a short skirt. They present these items with love, explaining with a smile that Jesus is present and the virtues of modesty.If they want to come in the chapel they must cover up.

[Ax]

While stationed in Havana, we attended St. Rita's, a short walk from our house. The girls more often than not wore tube-tops and very short shorts. The men normally wore guayabera shirts. And instead of shaking hands at the offering of a sign of peace, most men gave the revolutionary sign: an extended fist.

At the main cathedral in the Plaza de la Catedral, there are signs in English and Spanish advising that men must wear long trousers, and womens' blouses should have sleeves. Since I never wore long trou while off duty, I never got inside the Catedral.