Posted on 04/05/2011 8:25:30 AM PDT by Mrs. Don-o
Candidates (preparing for Confirmation/First Communion), you need to go to confession sometime this Lent, that is, before the Easter Vigil.
The Elect (preparing for Baptism), you don’t have to go to Confession this Lent, because Baptism itself washes away all sins. But sometime after Baptism, you should think about going to Confession, since regular Confession is an excellent habit to get into. Baptism --- by God’s grace -- makes you clean. Confession--- by God’s grace--- helps you stay that way.
1. Absolutely commit to doing it. Set a date. Put it on your calendar (in ink!) And in your Daytimer and on your computer notepad. Make sure you’ve got the time right.
2. Here’s the absolute requirements:
3. Realize a First Adult Confession is going to take some work. Space your own preparatory examination of conscience over a series of days because more things will come back into your memory over a period of time. Say (for example) you’ll give it 20 minutes a night, three times this week. Cut something else out (e.g. surfing the internet??) to make time for this.
Still on the web? OK, here’s really pertinent website:
http://www.jimmyakin.org/2010/03/adults-preparing-for-first-confession.html
Even the com-box comments are helpful!
4.Prepare well beforehand, even write notes if you’re a note-writing kind of person. For instance, write a quick outline of “stages in my life” and then write the main things that spiritually bother you, sin-wise. It might look something like this:
5. WORST THINGS FIRST. You can’t possibly confess every little weakness, fault and failing. You really can’t. But if you say the worst things first, it’ll be a huge relief. And you won’t have to get all neurotic about the small stuff.
6. Frequently Asked Questions:
What if I get there and I’m at a loss about what to say?
How specific do I have to get about some sins (e.g. sexual ones)? It bothers me to talk about them.
What if after Confession I remember a Mortal sin I inadvertently forgot to mention?
What if there’s a sin I’m not really sure I regret or repent? (e.g., I only really feel sorry I was caught!)
I feel plenty of remorse! What if I’m a weepy type and I’m afraid I’ll start crying my eyes out?
7. Make a list of the Ten Commandments and see in what ways you have stretched, bent, or broken them. Each of the “Big Ten” is not just an “item”; each Commandment is more like a chapter heading. For instance “Thou shalt not steal” is not just “Did I rob a bank?” But also “Did I did I defraud an employer by ‘unauthorized borrowing’ or misusing company property? By goofing off and failing to work diligently and honestly to earn my salary? Did I exploit an employee or treat a subordinate harshly? Did I lie on written forms or documentation, or fraudulently access benefits or services to which I was not fully entitled?” etc.
Good websites that illustrate this approach:
http://www.scborromeo.org/confess.htmM/a>
http://www.ncregister.com/info/confession_guide_for_adults/
http://www.catholicparents.org/oxcart/Examination%20of%20Conscience.pdf
8. Make a list of the Seven Deadly Sins and see which shoe fits. (Memory trick: the words PALE GAS: Pride - Anger –– Lust – Envy – Gluttony – Avarice - Sloth)
Pride
Antidote: Pride is conquered by attitudes and acts of humility.
Do I have a “better-than-you” attitude in thinking, or speaking or acting?
Group arrogance can be a problem, too. Do you have an offensive “We’re marvelous, They’re morons” group attitude based on your school? Profession? Nationality? Political party or faction?
Am I offensive to others, OR too easily take offense, myself?
Do I demand recognition? Do I desire to be always first?
Do I scorn advice? Think very little of others’ point of view?
Am I in any sense a "bully"? Do I intimidate people verbally, or physically?
Am I prone to belittle --- or to be too critical of ---persons, or places, or things?
Do I seek to place the blame on others, excusing myself?
Do I ridicule others?
Is there anyone to whom I refuse to speak?
Am I prone to argue? Do I have a superior, "know-it-all" attitude in arguments?
Or a “holier-than-thou” attitude in religious observance?
Am I always serving myself? Advertising myself? Promoting myself?
Do I crave the attention of rich, popular, or successful people?
Do I avoid contact with poorer, less-attractive, less-popular people?
Do I think myself “too good” to participate in a Church with sinful human members?
Am I super-sensitive? Am I easily wounded?
Anger
Antidote: Anger is conquered by the cultivation of a habit of loving patience.
“Anger is an emotion of the soul, which leads us violently to repel whatever hurts or displeases us…This emotion, my children, comes from the Devil: it shows that we are in his hands: that he is the master of our heart: that he holds all the strings of it, and makes us dance as he pleases.”, Saint John Vianney
Does practically any little thing arouse my temper?
Am I "a sore-head"? Do I have “a short fuse”?
Do I have a long memory of insult or injury, refusing to let it go?
Do I strive to get along well with difficult people?
Do I fume over slights/ insult and even presume them when possibly none was intended?
Do I rejoice at the misfortunes of others?
Do I think of "getting even"?
Am I of an argumentative disposition?
Am I given to ridicule of persons, places, or things?
Am I hard to get along with? Do I get sarcastic when I’m annoyed?
Do I blow up at my spouse? Parents? Children? Subordinates?
Does my language or behavior tend to get way out of line when I’m mad?
Do I carry grudges, remain "on the outs" with anyone?
Do I talk about the faults or defects of others?
Have I failed to help my spouse or children curb their anger?
Do I associate with people, movements (including political), or media which arouse or magnify anger or resentment of others?
Lust
Antidote: Lust is conquered by pure love, pure friendship, and a desire always to honor God with our bodies.
“Lust is the love of the pleasures that are contrary to purity.” Saint John Vianney.
Have I engaged in any act --- outside of marriage --- intended to cause sexual arousal or sexual gratification? By myself, or with somebody else?
Have I deliberately--- outside of marriage --- entertained thoughts and fantasies, intended to excite my sexual appetite?
Have I used any form of pornography?
Have I engaged in any act (including within marriage) which was deliberately degrading, un-loving, perverted, or intentionally closed-off to the transmission of life?
Have I failed to teach my children the importance of chastity?
Have I neglected to seek out, learn more about, and value, the Catholic Church’s teachings on the Sacramentality and Sanctity of marital sexual union?
Envy
Antidote: Envy is conquered by thoughts, words, and acts of brotherly love, and a deliberate cultivation of contentment with one’s life, however modest.
“Envy is a sadness which we feel, on account of the good that happens to our neighbor.” Saint John Vianney.
Do I feel sad at the prosperity of others? Irritated at their success? In games? In athletics? In income? In popularity? In reputation?
Do I rejoice at their failures?
Do I envy the riches of others? Their home or property? Their vacations? Their ease?
Am I jealous of other people’s relationships: their popularity with the opposite sex? Their marital success? Their family and friends? Their professional advancement?
Am I secretly --- or openly --- pleased when somebody else “gets taken down a peg”?
Am I a good example to others (especially my children, students, subordinates, co-workers) in showing pleasure at others’ success and advancement?
Do I express resentment for whole classes of people? Women? Men? “The shiftless poor” or “the rotten rich”?
Gluttony
Antidote: Gluttony is conquered by pursuit of a healthy relationship with food and drink; by moderation, and, in some cases, by abstinence.
“Gluttony is a disordered love of eating and drinking.”, Saint John Vianney.
“By excess many have perished: but he that is temperate shall prolong life.” Ecclesiasticus 37:34:
. Do I eat to live or live to eat? Do I eat unhealthy things, or to an unhealthy extent?
Am I overly demanding and “particular” about food, accepting only the finest, or most exacting ingredients or preparation?
Am I ill-tempered if I miss a meal, or rude if the food I am given does not please me?
Do I drink to excess? Do I get drunk? Do I commit other sins while drunk?
Do I drink and drive?
Do I misuse prescription drugs? Do I use illegal drugs?
Have I become addicted to or dependent on any mood-altering substance?
Have I endangered my health, my job, my marriage or my family with bad eating or drinking habits?
Do I neglect religious fasts because of my lack of control over my appetite?
Avarice
Antidote: Avarice is conquered by generous, cheerful giving.
“Covetousness is an disordered love of the goods of this world.”, Saint John Vianney.
“Remove far from me vanity, and lying words. Give me neither beggary nor riches: give me only the necessaries of life: Lest perhaps being filled, I should be tempted to deny, and say: Who is the Lord? Or lest being compelled by poverty, I should steal, and foreswear the name of my God.” Proverbs 30:8-9:
Do I regard money and the things of this world as resources which I use to the glory of God? Or do I think exclusively of my own advantage?
Do I acquire money and property reasonably or inordinately?
Do I do questionable things (things I wouldn’t want people to know about) for money?
Do I pursue luxuries while others (especially those for whom I am responsible) lack necessities?
Do I discharge my duties in justice to my fellow man?
Am I charitable toward the less fortunate? Especially those struggling with calamities, disasters, disabilities and hardships?
Do I discharge my duties in justice to the Church? Do I give to my parish and my diocese, and to concerns recommended by my Faith?
Sloth
Antidote: Sloth is conquered by diligence and fervor in the ordinary duties of our state in life, and in the challenges to which God calls us.
Have I an inordinate love of rest or entertainment, neglecting my duties?
Do I act lazily? Am I too fond of laying about? Do I waste a lot of time on TV or the Internet?
Do I feel the ordinary duties of life are not worth my best time and effort?
Do I delay chores repeatedly, or do them in a sloppy, slack, or minimal way?
Do I gripe about my work, complain about things that cost me real effort and exertion?
Do I make poor use of the time God has given me? Wasting hours, weeks, years?
Do I slack off in idle conversation? Worthless reading material? Stupid amusements?
Do I neglect tasks I should do for my husband, wife, or children?
Do I fail to direct, correct, or discipline people under my authority (children, students, subordinates) because it’s too much of a hassle?
Do I let things deteriorate around me, because reversing the trend would be difficult?
Do I neglect the needs of my aged, sick or disabled parents?
Do I tend to avoid needy friends?
Do I fail to carry out tasks I have promised to do for my parish or for charitable groups?
Am I fervent in the service of God?
My friends, God is delighted by your intention to confess your sins! He is so eager to get you back!
My final piece of advice, from Philippians 4:4:
The guide you've written is quite relevant to where folks are nowadays, and I know I can see myself in some of those statements. I'll print it out and study it before MY next confession!
Yeah, I find it quite an indictment against my own moral uglies :o/ ... I never run out of "what to say" ... :o?
I’m so happy I found this. As I write this I am preparing for my first confession tonight. God bless, and I hope to find more of your content around!
Thank you! Cool video! I’m going to put that on our parish RCIA Facebook page.
When our sons were little boys, after they took a bath we'd say "How'd it go?" and the stock answer was, "I'm all shiny and sparkly!"
So how'd your First Confession go?
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And just think, next time you can probably get in the Express Lane: 8 sins and under....! :o)
Tonight? I will pray for you.
God bless you!
Thank You, I’m very nervous...
Nervous? Good. That means you’re taking it as seriously as it needs to be taken.
Right now you’re probably halfway between Kyrie Eleison and Alleluia.
Almost time for this again — so here’s a BTTT!
Thanks!
I know this is rather late but I just learned of this forum.
I am 65 and my first Confession will be this saturday...How did your first confession go? Were you nervous?
Magdamary
Thank you for posting this, I found it very helpful! God bless you!
I am 60 years old and making my first confession and feel a bit overwhelmed. Your post helped me get my mind in order.
Glad I was of some help! Welcom,e o Confession -— as I said as a kid, “You end up so shiny and sparkly!”
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