“Her Fall Semester begins tomorrow - We think it’s very important for her to get back in the saddle - she is a Dean’s List student getting ready to start her last semester.”
And that can wait. It can wait until she gets help and heals. It is common for family to say, “What’s wrong...get back out there...!” This is wrong. Something went haywire and she has a problem.
She tried to kill herself. She most likely (definitely) has an issue with brain chemistry. It can take a long time to diagnose what exactly is wrong and get her the right help and get her on the right medication.
Right now, the focus should not be on ... “you need to get back in school”! The focus should be on: “What’s the matter and how can we help you to heal without putting more pressure on you?”
I understand that we have a tendency to say, “Help yourself...don’t be weak.”
But mental illness is real and she has it. It’s not a question of pressuring her...especially IF the HOSPITAL says she is not ready.
You have to trust the medical professionals and WHEN she gets out, you wait with open arms and hearts ... not pressure and expectations.
Get over YOUR assumptions that she’s doing something wrong. She’s sick. Something REALLY happened. You almost lost her. It’s not YOUR fault...but it was probably out of her control, too.
Don’t make a mistake and present her with a wall of expectations. Present her with open arms and love and understanding.
I’m sorry, I’d love to be hard and say...”Yeah, she really needs to....”
But the truth is...she doesn’t need to do ANYTHING. She went so deep down into the depths of depression that you almost lost her.
Of course, you also have my prayers.
Your post is exactly right.
Well said, Julia.
That’s what I thought after reading the brief description.
If this young woman overdosed on purpose, and it seems she did, the last thing she needs is more pressure on her. Perhaps she doesn’t even want to be in college.
Very wise counsel.........she needs help before going back to school....
If she can take a class at a local college, that can transfer to her regular school, while remaining at home, in a safe and loving environment, she can keep up with some of the work.
Our daughter had a melt-down or two at college, before she, and we, realized that she was having some brain-chemistry issues. Since she's seen a physician and counselor, she's doing MUCH better; "Better living through Chemistry"! She's taking a semester off of her out of town college, but that was mainly her choice. Since one of the couple of classes she needs to graduate is ONLY offered in the Spring, she decided she didn't want to take on the cost of a Fall Semester that wouldn't gain her much for her Major. She's taking a Math class at a local college that she can transfer to her college (she already checked, and it's OK with them), that will complete her Math Minor, so it's not a wasted semester at all. She also got a job, which she's enjoying, and the schedule of which she can work around that one class.
I hope Mary gets the help, for which, by her actions, she's clearly asking.