Nope, no worship here...
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Locked on 07/28/2010 9:41:07 PM PDT by Religion Moderator, reason:
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Posted on 07/28/2010 8:09:50 AM PDT by Salvation
Sorry, everyone, I could not get this posted any other way.
Please notify me via FReepmail if you would like to be added to or taken off the Catholic Discussion Ping List.
Guess I might have been more accurate had I said:
I could not get this aligned any other way.
Nope. My people were never in bondage in Egypt.
Therefore, you're not my God, you're just the Hebrew Tribal God and nothing to do with me.
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/97/97lmoses.phtml
Moses: And the Lord has sent before you, this Fifth Commandment - “Honor Thy Father
and Thy Mother”!
[ the prophets agree ]
And the Sixth Commandment: “Though Shalt not Kill”!
[ the prophets agree ]
And the Seventh: “Though Shalt not Commit Adultery”!
[ silence ]
What? What did I say?
Voice Among the Prophets: It’s a little unclear!
Moses: What?! Someone dares question the Word of God!
Clinton: [ steps out ] Not question, really. I mean.. you know, it’s just a little unclear. I mean, adultery
, what exactly does that mean? [ laughs, holds smug thumbs-up ]
Moses: Well, I think it’s pretty self-explanatory - Though shalt not know any Woman other than Thy Wife.
Clinton: Yeah, right.. look, Moses.. hear me out on this one, okay? Is it technically adultery, let’s say, if you just let a woman know you? No! Because you’re not really knowing her back!
Moses: I don’t follow.
Clinton: Aw, c’mon, Moses! You know what I mean - maybe she.. knows you.. some.. other way! Like, not with her loins, you knowww..? She could even be fully dressed..
Moses: [ appalled ] Oh, come on. You’re not asking what I think you’re asking, are you?
Clinton: What?! You gotta admit, it’s not really that clear, right people? [ the people agree ]
Moses: Oh, yes, it is clear! What you’re talking about is definitely adultery!
Clinton: [ sighing ] So, God told you to do that exactly?
Moses: Well, no, we didn’t talk about that..
Clinton: Yeah? Well, then how do you know? This is pretty damn important, maybe you should go ask Him.
Moses: I’m not going to ask God that.
Clinton: Fine. I’ll ask Him. [ Moses tries to stop him, but he walks behind the mountain. He returns almost as soon as he left. ] I asked Him, He said it was okay.
Moses: No, you didn’t! You did not just talk to God!
Clinton: I did, too! You know, I asked Him about doing the thing, you know, down there, and He said, “Hey, go to town!” He said just don’t let anyone else know about it. You can put that one right there. [ he points at the tablet ]
Moses: Okay, you talked to God? Then what does God look like?
Clinton: Well.. I mean, He’s big.. uh, He is shiny, and He wears a hat.
Moses: No! God does not wear a hat. Look, the commandment is simple - Though shalt not lie down with any other woman!
Clinton: See? That’s my point! What if you’re not lying down? What if you’re sitting at the edge of your desk?
Moses: Come on, that’s just semantics. Who brought this guy? [ no one claims Clinton ] Look, look.. any kind of knowing is adultery, and that’s that! Now, I’m moving on! [ he presents the tablets again ] Now, then. Though shalt not covet Thy neighbor’s house, nor his goods, nor Thy neighbor’s ass..
Clinton: Wait a minute, Thy neighbor’s ass. What if..
Moses: No! No, no, no.. I know what you’re going to ask, and yes, that is defintely adultery.
Clinton: Okay, but what if she knew you with her hand?
Moses: That’s it. You are not worthy to receive these commandments! [ he throws the tablets to the ground, destroying them. Thunder strikes ] You perverts! [ he exits behind mountain ]
[ Prophet picks up the broken pieces. Clinton examines them. ]
Clinton Wait, whoa whoa! Did he break the one that had adultery on it?
Prophet: Yeah, I think he did.
Clinton: Okay, good! [ examining the pieces more closely ] Okay, see, look? This is great, we have five commandments. That’s all we need! You understand, we got all the good ones. Am I right? [ he turns to address the crowd ] Now, I want to talk about building a bridge to the 12th Century..
SNL Transcripts
What a thoughtful post. You must be very proud of yourself.
Thanks, Salvation. It’s always nice to see items from fisheaters here, and it’s a great article.
I file those under “who touched my robes?”
images remind up of what they represent.
I'm finished debating about making this an Ecumenical thread -- I think your post can stay, but I will ask that the title now include [Ecumenical]
Please follow the Religion Moderator's Guidelines for Ecumenical Threads
Every time I read Exodus, it seems clear to me that Yahwah is simply the God of the Hebrews. I am not Hebrew, therefore Yahwah is not my God. It's an easy enough concept.
LOL!
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Christian Morality
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, The Ten Commandments
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, First Commandment
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Second Commandment
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Third Commandment
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Fourth Commandment
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Fifth Commandment
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Sixth and Ninth Commandments
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith, Part Three: The Will of God, Seventh and Tenth Commandments
The Essentials of the Catholic Faith; Part Three: The Will of God, Eighth Commandment
Catechism of Aquinas |SUMMARY OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS| THE OUR FATHER & FIVE QUALITIES OF PRAYER
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 34: The First Commandment
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 35: The Second Commandment
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 36: The Third Commandment
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 37: The Fourth Commandment
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 38: The Fifth Commandment (w / special prayer request)
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 39: The Sixth and Ninth Commandments
A Brief Catechism for Adults - Lesson 40: The Seventh and Tenth Commandments
A Brief Catechism for Adulst - Lesson 41: The Eighth Commandment
You read Exodus without reading Genesis?
Forgive me for not taking you all that seriously.
I don’t understand how this thread could be changed to an Ecumenical thread. The Title of the Thread suggests the Ten Commandments could have been changed, from one thing to another thing. Which should qualify it for an open thread. Those who think it has been changed, and those who do not think it has been changed. And support for both reasons.
When did YHvH or Yah'shua changeshalom b'SHEM Yah'shua HaMashiach
the Sabbath from Shabbat to Sunday ?Or was it changed in the fourth century
as part of the anti-semitism of Nicea ?
Agreed, rules for thee but not for me.
I’m of the opinion that all religion threads should be tagged (OPEN, ECUMENICAL, X CAUCUS, ETC).
Interesting indeed. This position seems to have completely gone bass-ackwards in the USA, where it seems that most "Catholics" take the completely opposing view.
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