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The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses
Cracked.com ^ | 11/28/2007 | David Wong

Posted on 11/28/2007 11:32:42 AM PST by SomeReasonableDude

"God listened carefully to their complaints, weighed their points, then made the earth eat them alive. The text does not make it clear whether or not the earth made that "OM NOM NOM" sound, so scholars are forced to speculate.

This really puts things in perspective for the anti-religion critics. They can complain all they want about religious "intolerance" and pushy evangelicals trying to censor TV and annoy people into conversion. But, that's a hell of an improvement over the situation during the Exodus, when God would feed nonbelievers to the mighty Sarlacc."

(Excerpt) Read more at cracked.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bible; christianity; hilarity
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To: dfwgator

I LOVE that scene. As theology goes, it’s almost as good as “Unforgiven.”


21 posted on 11/28/2007 5:03:36 PM PST by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: dfwgator

My favorite movie.


22 posted on 11/28/2007 7:50:04 PM PST by Hebrews 11:6 (Do you REALLY believe that (1) God is, and (2) God is good?)
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To: SomeReasonableDude
You're gonna have a lot of folks here who fail to see the humor in this.

Me? I've got tears of laughter running down my face! I'm reading this at work and everyone's asking me what's so funny?

23 posted on 11/28/2007 7:57:39 PM PST by Drew68
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To: Dr. Eckleburg

Curious “Unforgiven”?

And pulp fiction though not in Scripture, did seem to catch some of the ideas in Ezekiel, meaning the Lord was tired of it and meant to clean house and YOU WILL KNOW THAT MY NAME IS THE LORD....


24 posted on 11/29/2007 6:19:52 PM PST by padre35 (Conservative in Exile/ Isaiah 3.3)
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To: padre35
"Unforgiven" was a great movie about God's terrible swift sword.

"Deserves got nothing to do with it."

The epilogue which told us William Muny retired with his children and lived to a ripe old age after opening a dry cleaning business is poetry.

None of us knows another's heart, and "we all got it coming."

25 posted on 11/29/2007 6:57:18 PM PST by Dr. Eckleburg ("I don't think they want my respect; I think they want my submission." - Flemming Rose)
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To: Drew68

So you really want to know some baddass verses....

26 posted on 11/29/2007 7:27:37 PM PST by Cvengr (Every believer is a grenade. Arrogance is the grenade pin. Pull the pin and fragment your life.)
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To: Larry Lucido; Bender2
LOL. I was asking for that!

I should of specified that I was referring to Bender Rodriguez's cousin, Lawrence Bender. ;-)

27 posted on 11/29/2007 7:31:10 PM PST by Clemenza (Rudy Giuliani, like Pesto and Seattle, belongs in the scrap heap of '90s Culture)
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To: Cvengr

“Hey, Pat. This is God. I want you to run for president! Oh, and I want you to go out and check your tire pressure!”


28 posted on 11/29/2007 7:34:33 PM PST by Larry Lucido (Hunter 2008)
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To: Larry Lucido; Clemenza; Bender2

A clip of the Great One himself.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hwbt_mcs1j0


29 posted on 11/29/2007 7:39:40 PM PST by Larry Lucido (Hunter 2008)
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To: Larry Lucido

Thanks. I had the pleasure of seeing Sam live shortly before he left us. I was accompanied by my parents no less.


30 posted on 11/29/2007 7:42:30 PM PST by Clemenza (Rudy Giuliani, like Pesto and Seattle, belongs in the scrap heap of '90s Culture)
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To: SomeReasonableDude
From the same site, I found this interesting:

http://www.cracked.com/article_15663_god-fuse-10-things-christians-atheists-can-agree-on.html

31 posted on 11/29/2007 9:39:29 PM PST by Darkwolf377 (...sigh...)
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To: padre35; Dr. Eckleburg
"Ezekiel, meaning the Lord was tired of it and meant to clean house and YOU WILL KNOW THAT MY NAME IS THE LORD...."

Thos should give all of us pause:

Ezekiel 9:4-7, "And the LORD said unto him, Go through the midst of the city, through the midst of Jerusalem, and set a mark upon the foreheads of the men that sigh and that cry for all the abominations that be done in the midst thereof. with the destruction of the rest And to the others he said in mine hearing, Go ye after him through the city, and smite: let not your eye spare, neither have ye pity: Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and women: but come not near any man upon whom is the mark; and begin at my sanctuary. Then they began at the ancient men (the Elders) which were before the house. And he said unto them, Defile the house, and fill the courts with the slain: go ye forth. And they went forth, and slew in the city."

32 posted on 11/30/2007 7:25:25 AM PST by blue-duncan
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To: AnalogReigns

I find it hard to take your otherwise well written post seriously (given the content and message) when I consider you didn’t even give basic literature etiquet to the Bible and capitalize the first letter.

I think showing Moses killing a guard wasn’t something to mourn, b/c the story goes on to show that God can still work with a man *even a murderer* to accomplish His Will.


33 posted on 11/30/2007 4:53:31 PM PST by MacDorcha (We have been at war with this mindset since before the Socratic method was borne.)
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To: HarleyD

“Would anyone honestly take this article to their Bible school class?”

The short answer? “Yes”

But that’s because I like my Faith with a little scrutiny.

Keeps me honest.


34 posted on 11/30/2007 5:04:22 PM PST by MacDorcha (We have been at war with this mindset since before the Socratic method was borne.)
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To: dfwgator
I can't believe they didn't mention Ezekiel 25:17...

I'm a unassuming conservative white guy...
but I still don't understand a "Best Actor" Oscar nomination for
John Travolta...
and "Best Supporting Actor" Oscar nomination for Samuel L. Jackson.

Those two nominations should have been switched round the other way.

Something really went wrong over at the Academy!
35 posted on 11/30/2007 5:16:10 PM PST by VOA
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We like to think Elijah stood in front of the howling column of heavenly fire, straightened his robes, turned to the crowd and said, "Thus, my opponent's argument falls." Then, he finished the debate in the way that all debates should be finished: by having the losers slaughtered.

Ping!

36 posted on 12/16/2009 12:04:00 PM PST by Alex Murphy ("Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him" - Job 13:15)
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