Fleets of CC-Mobiles, new roving confession and Communion trucks, are plying neighborhoods in Mexico and the U.S.Posted on 08/01/2006 1:40:55 PM PDT by Alex Murphy
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MEXICO CITY -- Capitalizing on momentum from recent papal events, the Catholic church yesterday acknowledged its "insane jealousy and rabid envy of Pentecostals" in Latin America, and launched an ambitious plan to re-assert itself in countries where it has lost ground.
Fleets of CC-Mobiles, new roving confession and Communion trucks, are plying neighborhoods in Mexico and the U.S.
"When I heard the tinkling music, I thought it was the ice cream man, so I sent the kids out with money," says Maria Gonzalez. "Then I saw a priest at the wheel. He invited us into the truck to have brightly-colored Communion wafers and confess anything we needed to confess. I have to admit, it was convenient."
The Church hopes to appeal to youth with Radical Rosary conferences. The PromiseKeepers-style events will promote church rituals under new names like "Man Your Stations" stations of the Cross and "Kickin'-It Confessionals" which Church literature describes as "hang-out sessions with priests where you can talk about anything that's on your mind except subjects relating to child abuse."
Priests are also distributing bumper stickers that say, "Sì, Catolico!" and "Catholic...And Cool."
But long term success depends on the new pope, they say.
"We are excited about the potential of our 78-year-old German conservative pope to dazzle people with his proven 'rock star quality,'" says a priest from Oaxaca. "He will help us take back ground we conquered five hundred years ago."
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LOL
Well, that is kinda' cute...
Wait for my next series of threads titled "Baptists, Presbies, Methodists, Lutherans, associated fundies and other CULT members."
After all, it's satire, right?
No harm done, huh?
So long as you acknowledge your fellow FReepers' wishes by clearly (some would say blatantly) labeling the thread as SATIRE, I say go for it. But don't be humorless, or else you'll make the baby Jesus cry.
Thanks for a good laugh Alex. And I am Catholic.
Laughter is a gift from God. It quite frankly keeps pride in its place. We can not learn humility if we can not laugh at ourselves.
I doubt I'd find it funny no matter who posts it. I've visited the Betty Bowers website twice, and the Landover Baptist site four times. With very few exceptions, I wasn't amused by anything I found there. IIRC the biggest laugh I ever got was this line, from a Landover women's visit to a Mormon wedding - "It was at that point," Sister Taffy recalls, "I began to think we had stepped into a Presbyterian Church." .
Have you visited their on-line stores and seen the anti-Bush slogans on their merchandise? Both Landover's and Bowers' websites mirror a DNC list of talking points re the Religious Right, and IMO the "satire" is designed to support those points.
I love your disclaimers!
"If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane," as that great capitalist Jimmy Buffet said. (Aw, shoot, now I'm craving a Cheeseburger in Paradise ... I'd better go exercise!)
confession, never been to germany or confession in german.
Yeah.. I have visited it. Disgusting. The whole thing is deplorable. Evidentally, the Betty Bowers character is really a Democrat man and he made quite a haul on a book he published using this satire.
I can't believe the RCs would resort to such trickery.
Oh, it's a joke.
Ever heard this one?
The elder priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "I know you are reaching out to the young people when you had bucket seats put in to replace the first four pews. It worked. We got the front of the church filled first."
The young priest nodded and the old one continued, "And, you told me a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock 'n roll gospel choir that packed us to the balcony."
"So," asked the young priest, "what's the problem?"
"Well," said the elder priest, "I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional."
"But Father," protests the young priest. "My confessions have nearly doubled since I began that !"
"I know, my son, but the flashing "Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell" neon sign really has to go!
Father Hermann-Joseph Hubka of ACN will introduce the vehicle, which was made to fit the needs of vacationers seeking the sacrament of Penance. For three years the minibus has been in use under the patronage of Augsburg Bishop Walter Mix. In recent years ACN has built "chapel boats" to be used on rivers in Brazil and Russia, providing for the spiritual needs of people living along rivers, far away from a church. Plans to introduce the "confessional car" at a tourism exhibition were announced on the same day that the Pontifical Council for Migrants released a report encouraging new pastoral strategies to address the needs of travelers." Jan. 17, 2007 (CWNews.com) - The international Catholic charitable organization Aid to the Church in Need (ACN) will send a specially designed minibus known as the "confessional car" to a tourism fair in Essen, Germany, in February.
So is the Catholic World News service real or a parody or bogus or what?
I know one thing for sure, as a news service, their website is really underwhelming.
And, this (from the piece) is still funny:
"Capitalizing on momentum from recent papal events, the Catholic church yesterday acknowledged its "insane jealousy and rabid envy of Pentecostals" in Latin America, and launched an ambitious plan to re-assert itself in countries where it has lost ground."
Did you check out the link at post 7? It's good too.
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