"It's a way of getting people's attention," says pastor Mark Eckers, who preaches often about the end times. "We are concerned about people's Rapture preparedness."Posted on 07/07/2006 4:16:26 PM PDT by Alex Murphy
PINE BLUFF, Ark. — Last Days Bible Church has taken a novel step to prepare people for the Rapture: under each seat in the sanctuary is an airline-style safety card giving instructions for what to do when the Rapture takes place.
"It's a way of getting people's attention," says pastor Mark Eckers, who preaches often about the end times. "We are concerned about people's Rapture preparedness."
Ushers hold up the Rapture Safety cards and give a complete safety demonstration before each service, even pointing out exit routes for people who are not taken by the Rapture.
For believers, the cards depict various Rapture poses they may strike when the trumpet sounds: the flange pose, with both arms pointed down like a badminton birdie. Or the more popular Superman pose: one knee up, both arms held skyward.
"When the Rapture happens we want saved and unsaved people alike to get through the experience safely," says Eckers. "We're especially concerned that no one get trampled, because, of course, the ushers will be gone."
I always thought a "rapture helmet" would be a good idea, you know, in case you're in the basement or something when it happens.
Beware--some terrorists look like Michael Jackson and have an arsenal of clean white shirts.
If you spot an act of terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, just yell really loudly.
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with scary eyes, run away now.
That closet door in your bedroom leads to the gates of Hell. Don't go there.
Trinity is my name.
Have you read " Right Behind"? It is a satire on that horrid work of theology and literature " Left Behind".
It is published by a Reformed book group. Verry, verrry funny. Especially the part where people get stuck in their ceilings when they are raptured.
LOL! Too funny!
Don't go there...heh...
ROTFLMAO
Raptors.
In the Vulgate New Testament, it appears in at least four places: 2 Cor 12:2, 2 Cor 12:4, 1 Thes 4:17, and Rev 12:5.
They are as follows, with the Douay-Rheims translation:
2 Cor 12:2Scio hominem in Christo ante annos quattuordecim, sive in corpore nescio sive extra corpus nescio, Deus scit raptum ejusmodi usque ad tertium cælum.
I know a man in Christ above fourteen years ago (whether in the body, I know not, or out of the body, I know not; God knoweth), such a one caught up to the third heaven.
2 Cor 12:4
Quoniam raptus est in paradisum, et audivit arcana verba quæ non licet homini loqui.
That he was caught up into paradise, and heard secret words, which it is not granted to man to utter.
1 Thes 4:17
Deinde nos qui vivimus, qui relinquimur, simul rapiemur cum illis in nubibus obviam Domino in æra, et sic semper cum Domino erimus.
Then we who are alive, who are left, shall be taken up together with them in the clouds to meet Christ, into the air, and so shall we be always with the Lord.
Rev 12:5
Et peperit filium masculum, qui recturus erit omnes gentes in virga ferrea, et raptus est filius ejus ad Deum et ad thronum ejus.
And she brought forth a man child, who was to rule all nations with an iron rod: and her son was taken up to God, and to his throne.
1 Thes 4:17 is the passage usually cited for evidence of the "rapture" by the Darbyists who produce this sort of silliness.
I assume that's the "left" hind pocket?
LOL!!!! I was just thinking, "What happens if I'm sitting on the toilet?" Do they have an illustration for that??? :O)
Yup. As opposed to right behind.
It is appropriate, though, to be "left" behind.
The "left," as Ann Coulter says, is "Godless."
***Trinity is my name.***
I thought tht was Terence Hill with Bud Spencer as his sidekick.
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