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RFP for New Liturgy [ECUSA]
Moving Mountains ^ | 11/23/2005 | Laurie Swain

Posted on 11/25/2005 9:39:03 AM PST by sionnsar

Send Alternative Liturgy Proposals To:

Anglo-Unitarian Liturgical Development Committee
Episcopal Church in the USA
815 2nd Avenue
New York, New York

Whereas the the prevailing attitudes and practices of the enlightened social elite are tending away from monagomy and towards committed, mutually consensual, polyamourous relationships as documented by and witnessed to by those important vanguards of postmodern civilization, the Guardian and New York Magazine, and

Whereas the Episcopal Church, USA is an open, welcoming, tolerant and loving church that wishes to exclude noone and promises that noone's beliefs, lifestyles or practices will be challenged as unacceptable to the Church or to God, and

Whereas the Episcopal Church, USA as part of its new and ongoing committment to Anglo-Unitarian theology and practice, wishes to assure all people, regardless of their sexual appetites and practices, that they are loved and sanctified by God as they are, without condition or expectation, whether they know it or not, and

Whereas the Episcopal Church, USA has a standing 20-year history of embracing all free love based religious and theological beliefs, whether rooted in scriptures and holy books from various ancient cultures (exept the Judeo-Christian tradition); nature diety traditions and practices; Marxist political policies; or the occasional whim and psycho-babble of university professors and Hollywood celebrities, and

Whereas, polyamourists, because of the Church's neglect and persecution are confused about whether or not God's love and salvation extends to them, and who, because of their natural orientation away from monagomy cannot help but exercise their carnal desires in a way that is contrary to the traditional interpretation of the Old and New Testament, and who, if they were allowed to freely express and celebrate their sexuality with the blessings of the Church could live out their lives with integrity, honesty and self-fulfillment, and

Whereas the Episcopal Church, USA's mission is to reconcile all people to God and that all any person need do to be reconciled to God is to learn to love and accept themselves as God already loves and accepts them; to be true to one's carnal desires; and to provide space for all other people to do likewise, tolerating everything and everyone except those people who profess an intolerance for what they refer to as "sin" (usually based on the Scriptures of the Judeo-Christian tradition, and

Whereas the Episcopal Church, while it deeply and sincerely wishes to bless polyamourous relationships, currently finds that its clergy, theologians and staff are already busy with similar important work to bring the whole Church into enlightenment (see list below for examples of current projects as they may inspire the writing of appropriate liturgies under this RFP);

The Episcopal Church, USA hereby issues this formal Request for Proposals of alternative liturgies for the celebration and blessing of polyamorous relationships. For more information and direction, the fastest way to get a direct response from ECUSA Headquarters is to simply offer prayers, incense and appropriate sacrifices to the Lord of Darkness. Inspiration for the developing of appropriate ECUSA worship will follow immediately.


Episcopal clergy, theologians and staff are currently overwhelmed with the following projects:

Re-writing the Bible:
We will be substituting offensive passages with more tolerant wisdom from such enlightened sources as the Holy Koran as interpreted by Sufi Rumi; the Bhagvat Gita; the Kama Sutra; the Communist Manifesto; and the writings of Shirley MacLaine. We are also collecting a large number of Buddhist Haiku Poetry to replace the Book of Psalms. Other philosophies and world religions are also being explored for a "Book Celebrating the Diversity of Wisdom."

Developing Alternative Liturgies:
In addition to the Blessing of Same-Sex Unions, we are trying to prepare for the anticipated actions of the next few General Conventions by preparing in advance additional new forms of worship for special occasions. These include the ordination and consecration of clergy and bishops from non-Christian religions; liturgies expressing repentance and making amends for the past white male heterosexual hegemony and violence of the Church; celebrations of divorce and freedom from various other covenant relationships; a liturgy of feminist empowerment centered on the worship of Sophia, the Goddess of Wisdom; and liturgies paying homage to various druid and pagan deities. In addition to this work, our various parish lay alter guilds are busy shopping for substitute eucharistic elements after gaining clergy recommendation based on what would be expressly forbidden by the outdated, intolerant and unenlightened Old and New Testament of the Christian Church.


While the above is more than a bit of tongue-in-cheek, it is also sadly, an accurate reflection of the current direction of the Episcopal Church. Most of the alternative liturgies listed have already been publicized as under development or already observed in one diocese or another.

However, we cannot allow the humour to cloud the important message, that, since monagamy is not "natural" (at least its occurance in the animal world is about as rare as the occurance of homosexual behavior), then can't anyone claim to be naturally "oriented" toward polyamourousness? If so, then, in the name of tolerance and inclusivity, shouldn't ECUSA begin debating the validity of consensual, adult, committed polyamourous relationships? And, if not, what would be the basis for that decision? Surely, it can't be Scripture because ECUSA stopped using that as the foundation for moral teaching in August 2003 (if not long before then).

Most reasserters have made clear their position that abortion, divorce, homosexual intercourse and pre-marital fornication are not sinful. Surely, polyamorous sexual relationships amongst consenting adults would be at least as victimless and harmless as all of those on the standard post-modern "live and let live" theology, would it not?

After all, at least one of these relationships was recently legally licensed in the Netherlands -- where legalized same-sex marriage originated. (After promises that same-sex marriage wouldn't lead to officially sanctioned polygamy, BTW.)

How should the postmodern Christian theologian respond to the polyamourist? More importantly, what would be the basis for his/her position either way? Would love to hear how WV theologians would counsel and pastor people in such situations. Surely they are struggling with trying to figure out how to find God's love in the midst of their struggle to be individuals with sexual integrity despite the monogomist hegemony of church and society.

None of that really matters for those of us who are orthodox Anglicans. We know that we must respond to the polyamorist, the pre-marital fornicator, and the homosexual in the same way . . . With the love of God, and the power of the Spirit that can transform lives under obedience to the Scriptures in thankfullness and gratitude for the God's Grace in the redeeming and saving Blood of Christ. Praise God for His mercy and grace. God save us all and the Church.

TOPICS: Mainline Protestant
KEYWORDS: ecusa; unitarian
[Okay. How many spotted the satire and how soon? For me it was "Anglo-Unitarian Liturgical Development Committee." --sionnsar]
1 posted on 11/25/2005 9:39:05 AM PST by sionnsar
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To: ahadams2; Condor 63; Fractal Trader; Zero Sum; anselmcantuar; Agrarian; coffeecup; Paridel; ...
Traditional Anglican ping, continued in memory of its founder Arlin Adams.

FReepmail sionnsar if you want on or off this moderately high-volume ping list (typically 3-9 pings/day).
This list is pinged by sionnsar, Huber and newheart.

Resource for Traditional Anglicans:

Humor: The Anglican Blue (by Huber)

Speak the truth in love. Eph 4:15

2 posted on 11/25/2005 9:40:05 AM PST by sionnsar (†† || (To Libs:) You are failing to celebrate MY diversity! || Iran Azad)
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To: sionnsar; SmithL; Honorary Serb; TonyRo76

Satire yes,but what I post now is actual fact:

The North American Academy of Liturgy will soon hold its annual convention. Lutheran members of the academy, at the best of Rev. Gail Ramshaw (the ELCA's representative to the group that created the Revised Common Lectionary) will be considering liturgies for the blessing of same-sex unions "without passing judgment on the ethics or propriety of such ceremonies".

Turn the stove up a notch, froggies!

3 posted on 11/25/2005 11:01:40 AM PST by lightman (The Office of the Keys should be exercised as some ministry needs to be exorcised.)
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Comment #4 Removed by Moderator

Comment #5 Removed by Moderator

To: sionnsar; All
This ain't satire, exists already..Just click here and read the mission statement of something called the "Center for Progressive Christianity"
6 posted on 11/25/2005 1:20:08 PM PST by ken5050 (Ann Coulter needs to have children ASAP to pass on her gene pool....any volunteers?)
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