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A Look Back To 2003 - I Was In Hell - by a Gay Episcoplian Turned Orthodox
Drell's Descants ^ | 10/27/2005

Posted on 10/27/2005 6:18:58 PM PDT by sionnsar

Read it all if you haven’t seen this before. A snippit:

Later we learn,

It was Rose’s gay partner in San Francisco who introduced him to the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia. But while Rose was immersing himself in the mystique of ancient Orthodoxy, his partner, who had written a book about the Church, was losing interest in it. Soon the Church took Rose wholly, and he and his partner split up.
A social doctrine adopted by the Council of Bishops of the Moscow Patriarchate last year describes homosexuality as “a sinful injury to human nature” to be “treated by sacraments, prayer, fasting, repentance and the reading of the Holy Scriptures.”
Referring to his young adult years before he became fully involved in the Orthodox Church, Rose once said: “I was in hell. I know what hell is.”


I was in hell. I know what hell is.

I stand by those words of Fr Seraphim. This Hell is being driven by one’s hormones and knowing that to deny them is unhealthy. Hell is being driven by one’s desires and fantasies and knowing that to deny them is to deny the only joy there is, the joy that defines your whole being. Hell is a fine San Francisco morning standing in one’s bedroom while an orgy takes place in the hallway outside. Hell is a foggy San Francisco afternoon standing in a room full of men involved in various actions with each other - and somewhere a voice tells you it’s all wrong, but you don’t know what to do. Hell is a balmy SF evening on a back porch listening to ten gay men in the middle of the most liberal Episcopal Diocese in the country insist that all churches are homophobic and evil. Hell is being told in a Sunday sermon that Jesus died in 1st century Judea, that Jesus isn’t alive, that Jesus isn’t coming back, and that he would want that you should “follow your bliss” to find the will of God in your life - all of this when you know now that your “bliss” makes you more depressed every time you indulge in it.

Hell is a “Pride Parade” where no one looks at you, where know one returns your compliments where no one bothers to notice you - on a day when egos are supposed to be full and fluffy, hell is having one’s ego bashed. Hell is knowing that at this point someone reading this essay will say “Oh, he’s ugly and bitter, that’s all.” Hell is watching your friends die for the sake of their own freedom to damn themselves - and hearing them cry “I didn’t do anything to deserve this… God is hateful.”

Hell is knowing that there is the slightest possibility that these “Jesus Seminar” folks and these other “new theologians” are wrong. That 2000+ years of orthodox Christians are right: what if gay sex is evil? Equally hell is standing next to those who end that conversation by saying “Oh, shut up.” Hell is being told that all the Gospel is wrong - millennia of your brothers and sisters in the faith were wrong - that Jesus loves you just as you are and no change is required, we’ll just throw out everything that disagrees with that. Hell is being told that this nihilism and denial of any and all truth is exactly what church is supposed to be - liberating us from the dark past of sin and law.

Hell is finding out that no one really wants “a relationship” no matter how much they want it blessed or accepted; rather just the ease of sex, the right to demand acceptance of their neighbors and the ability to collect insurance. They’d also like it to be open, please, not monogamous, with a don’t ask don’t tell policy and weekends free to “play around.” And don’t judge us, please.

Hell is standing in the middle of the most gay-friendly city in the country - perhaps the world - and knowing that, please God, there must be something more than this.

Or maybe Hell is belonging to a church that just pats you on the head and says, “That’s ok, dear.”

Hell welcomes you in from the cold by leaving all the windows and doors wide open and turning off the heat (too great a change can be a shock, you know). No change is required. No shift in vision. “We value every person and support a widely diverse community” means we have no standards, there is no difference between church and Denny’s.

There is a way out.

TOPICS: Mainline Protestant; Orthodox Christian
KEYWORDS: ecusa; exgays; hell; homosexualagenda; redemption; russianorthodox; sin

1 posted on 10/27/2005 6:18:59 PM PDT by sionnsar
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To: ahadams2; Fractal Trader; Zero Sum; anselmcantuar; Agrarian; coffeecup; Paridel; keilimon; ...
Traditional Anglican ping, continued in memory of its founder Arlin Adams.

FReepmail sionnsar if you want on or off this moderately high-volume ping list (typically 3-9 pings/day).
This list is pinged by sionnsar, Huber and newheart.

Resource for Traditional Anglicans:

Humor: The Anglican Blue (by Huber)

Speak the truth in love. Eph 4:15

2 posted on 10/27/2005 6:19:53 PM PDT by sionnsar (†† || (To Libs:) You are failing to celebrate MY diversity! || Iran Azadi)
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To: FormerLib; MarMema; Agrarian; Kolokotronis


3 posted on 10/27/2005 6:20:57 PM PDT by sionnsar (†† || (To Libs:) You are failing to celebrate MY diversity! || Iran Azadi)
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To: sionnsar

I am probably being unfair here, but this guys always gave me the creeps.

4 posted on 10/27/2005 6:54:13 PM PDT by Kolokotronis (Christ is Risen, and you, o death, are annihilated!)
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To: sionnsar

We likely disagree on points of theology, but it's kind of cool to see that other groups of Christians have traditional movements as well. Speaking as a conservative, traditional, Latin-Mass loving Catholic...well, I'm glad to see you're doing this work in your own faith community.

5 posted on 10/27/2005 7:06:39 PM PDT by AlaninSA (It's ONE NATION UNDER GOD...brought to you by the Knights of Columbus)
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To: sionnsar

I've read this before. It is truly a classic, and I'm glad you posted it to refresh my memory.

Too many have substituted a "gospel" of affirmation for the Gospel of transformation.

That might be my next tagline.

6 posted on 10/27/2005 8:06:38 PM PDT by lightman (The Office of the Keys should be exercised as some ministry needs to be exorcised.)
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To: AlaninSA

Thanks! I've just picked up the banner from the late Arlin Adams (ahadams2) to carry it forward.

7 posted on 10/28/2005 10:18:12 AM PDT by sionnsar (†† || (To Libs:) You are failing to celebrate MY diversity! || Iran Azadi)
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To: sionnsar

Prayers for strength and steadfastness for this man, in living a life of holiness. 2003 is not so long ago.

8 posted on 10/28/2005 10:42:03 AM PDT by heartwood
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To: heartwood

As a "gay" man, I agree with his observations about hell.

9 posted on 10/28/2005 6:39:06 PM PDT by The Cuban
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To: little jeremiah

ping -- good one.

10 posted on 11/09/2005 4:13:26 PM PST by Albion Wilde (America will not run, and we will not forget our responsibilities. – George W. Bush)
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To: Albion Wilde

Will be a-pinging later, thanks!

11 posted on 11/09/2005 5:33:54 PM PST by little jeremiah
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