As a youth, I wanted to go to Him often but I was easily distracted. After parochial grade school, I attended public high school and soon became lukewarm in my faith.
Once I became a wife and mother, I grew more passionate about God. It was at that time that I was seriously challenged in the Catholic faith. My husband was very good friends with a very unconventional Catholic priest from a nearby diocese. Very often, this priest would set out on a tirade about either Our Lady or the Church. I did not realize until later that his strange remarks were typical anti-Catholic rhetoric. One evening, his comments on the Holy Eucharist and the Church suddenly broke the proverbial camel’s back. He told us that the Catholic Church had apostatized around AD 300, the Eucharist was just a symbol, and the Church has been lying all these years.
I was shocked. I knew of lay Catholics who believed the Eucharist was a symbol but never a priest! Since my faith had been ambiguous all those years, I was plagued with doubt. After all, a priest would know. How could a priest lose his faith in the Real Presence? The Church was lying? If so then my whole life, my childhood and the Sacraments were all a lie. Confused and heartbroken, I felt my foundation crumble beneath my feet. I had so closely associated Jesus with the Church that I could not imagine the two separated. It seemed as if a braided ficus tree that had been grafted and grown together into one trunk had been ripped apart.
After much prayerful discernment, discussions with other priests, and study of the Scriptures, especially the Gospel of John, chapter 6, I decided to disprove this priest’s error. Searching for a motive for his dissent, I started watching EWTN, which led to studying the Catechism of the Catholic Church. I discovered that this heresy was not new to the Catholic Church. Soon what I learned about the Faith developed into living the Faith more deeply. I began praying the Rosary, the Divine Mercy Chaplet and attending daily Mass as often as I could.
Among Jesus’s pledges of graces for those who venerate His Sacred Heart is the promise that tepid souls would become fervent. This promise soon came true in my life. Ultimately, my dedication to the Sacred Heart matured into love for the Holy Eucharist, and with good reason. In The Book of Infinite Love, Mother Louise Margaret Claret writes that devotion to the Blessed Eucharist and the Sacred Heart are truly one and the same devotion. Zeal for the Sacred Heart essentially leads believers to Adoration of the Eucharist. I only found out later that this holy Visitation nun received a revelation from God telling her that the heart of priests should be a burning flame. The Lord told her that if only priests would turn to His Heart, then His love for them would overflow from their hearts to the whole world.
Another of the promises Jesus revealed to St. Margaret Mary for priests dedicated to His Divine Heart is the power to touch the most hardened heart. At a Fatima Conference recently, I learned of one such priest from Maryland. This priest, who was very devoted to the Sacred Heart and First Friday Devotions, had an altar boy who had left the Faith after hanging out with the wrong crowd. The priest soon lost track of him. Eventually one First Friday, he found out from the boy’s mother that he was dying from AIDS and was in a hospital. The priest immediately went to visit him. When he arrived, the boy, filled with hatred, did not want to see the priest and turned his back on him from the bed. The priest prayed silently to Jesus gently reminding Him of His promises of His Sacred Heart. As he sat, holding a Crucifix in his hands, he whispered the Holy Name of Jesus. After the third “Jesus” the boy with tears in his eyes turned and kissed the cross in his hand. Just before he died, he made his confession and was reconciled to God.
Sadly, the priest “friend” whose words so shook my faith eventually left the Church. However, I have not ceased to pray for him, and all of those who are led astray by the world’s doubt. In the same homily on the Sacred Heart, Pope John Paul II said, “meditation on God’s love, revealed in the Heart of His Son, requires a consistent response on our part.” Now, through this devotion, I make acts of reparation for priests who have rejected Jesus in the Eucharist and pray that others will not be led astray.
Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us all. Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us all.
