Sex and True Love

The beacon ^ | 12.16.04 | Most Reverend Arthur J. Serratelli, S.T.D., S.S.L., D.D

[Coleus]

Sex and True Love

 

The news has recently reported that a leading media company, with preeminent positions in broadcast and cable television, radio, and advertising, has agreed to pay the Federal Communications Commission $3.5 million, one of the largest fines ever given by this agency, to end allegations of indecency.  Yet even as the debate about public decency goes on, TV continues to challenge its viewers with ever new boundaries about public decency.  Not to be outdone by an alleged wardrobe malfunction that bared a performer's breast during halftime at last January's Super Bowl, a Cleveland news anchor, a few weeks ago, bared more than her viewers are accustomed to see of her in a report about photographing public nudity.

TV sitcoms serve up a daily diet of stars half clad and gladly engaging in pre-martial and extra-martial sex.   So often with such humor that the real tragedy beneath the steamy scenes is lost.  One can only wonder how a very popular comedy that aired on Thanksgiving night could have two of its adult women cavorting with a young man only 16 years old.  Bad taste at a time when we are so very concerned about the sexual abuse of minors (i.e. those under 18 years old).  But while the adults in the entertainment and news industries are giving into a culture of liberated sexual activity, teenagers themselves are no longer buying their example with the same rapaciousness as in the past.

Teen pregnancy is down.  The Centers for Disease Control reports that the percentage of teenagers who engage in sexual activity has been decreasing in the last decade.  All without much notice.  More and more high school boys are virgins.   Some strongly zealous libertarians insist on making condoms and abortions ever more readily available to our teenagers.  But instead of helping them to value the precious gift of human sexuality and wait responsibly for marriage, they are only helping them prepare their lives for heartache and disaster.

Society cannot ignore the sexual values it passes on to its children and teenagers.  A sound society is built on stability in the family.  A strong family is formed where love is found.  And love between a man and a woman is a gift and a challenge.    Genesis teaches, Male and female, he created them (Gen 1:27).  It is part of God's original design that man and woman find fulfillment in each other.  In fact, He blessed them and said, Increase and multiply&. God created man and woman together and willed each for the other (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 371).

Human sexuality is a gift from God.  It is also a challenge.  It demands denying oneself for the good of the other.  Where there are no boundaries to sexuality, there is no love.  Where the individual puts himself or herself first, there is no love. Where the satisfaction of personal desire controls a relationship, love dies.  To form a true communion of persons between a man and a woman requires discipline in controlling one s selfishness.  Casual sex before marriage injures the capacity to love.  But chastity and purity increase the capacity for intimacy and love enjoyed in lasting fidelity.

The most amazing proof of this is found in Matthew s gospel. He [Joseph] did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home. (Mt. 1:24).  Mary is a teenager.  When the angel Gabriel announces to her that she is to be the mother of the Messiah, she responds, How can this be?  I do not know man (Lk 1:34).  To know is a Semitic way of expressing sexual relations.  There is no doubt that she is pure.  Matthew himself indicates this in his story of the annunciation of Jesus birth to Joseph.  He records the Incarnation of God's only-begotten Son in the womb of Mary as a fulfillment of Isaiah 7:14, Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son and they shall name him Emmanuel (Mt 1:23). When Isaiah made this famous Messianic prophecy, he spoke of a young maiden (in Hebrew, alma).  When scholars in Alexandria, sometime before the middle of the third century B.C., translated the Hebrew Scriptures into Greek, they used the word parthenos (virgin).  Matthew sees the Greek text as literally fulfilled in Mary. He clearly affirms her virginity at the annunciation. 

Both Matthew and Luke wrote their gospels between 80-100 A.D. Independent of each other, they pass on the tradition of the virginity of Mary.  This is one of the few places their infancy narratives agree.  Obviously, they are dependent on an earlier tradition widely circulated in the Church.  In liturgy and prayer, the Church celebrates Mary Ever-Virgin.  Mary remained a virgin.  The birth of Jesus did not diminish his mother s virginal integrity but sanctified it (Lumen Gentium, 57).  In fact, the angel s words to Joseph may even be hinting at this.  He does not use a word that speaks of marital relations between the two.  The angel simply tells Joseph to take (paralambanein) Mary into his home (Mt 1: 20). 

God chose Mary as a teenager.  Young people can respond to God's will. Mary was a virgin before, during and after the birth of Jesus.  As St. Ambrose said in one of his Christmas homilies, "Behold the miracle of Our Lord's Mother.  She conceived, a Virgin; she brought forth, a Virgin.  A Virgin was she when she conceived, a Virgin when pregnant, a Virgin after childbirth& Virginity enriches life.  Causal sex cheapens it.  Mary stands before us as a revelation of the deepest meaning of love.  Love must come before commitment; and the covenant of marriage before intimacy.  The fact that Mary and Joseph lived a true married life without the normal exchange of marital intimacy only highlights the deepest meaning of chastity.  For chastity leads to mature, personal integration.  It enables the individual to order body and soul, mind and heart to the greater gift of self to the other. And it was with the gift of self to one another in fidelity to God's plan that Mary and Joseph experienced the gift of true love.

Causal sex leads to single parents, abortions, sexually transmitted disease, not even to mention emotional pain and heartbreak.  Many are afraid to say sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong.  Yet more and more of our young people are courageously taking a stand against our permissive society.  Can we afford not to help our young appreciate the gift of sexuality by example and word?  Do we want to deny our young the gift of real love?

Through the intercession of Mary, ever-Virgin, may we be given the grace to live chastely and purely.

December 13, 2004

[nickcarraway]

BUMP

[WFTR]

The fact that Mary and Joseph lived a true married life without the normal exchange of marital intimacy only highlights the deepest meaning of chastity.

Of course, not everyone agrees on this "fact." Outside the Roman Catholic church, people tend to take the straightforward interpretation of Bible verses speaking of Jesus's brothers and sisters as biological brothers and sisters (technically, half-brothers and half-sisters). Because this thread isn't in the religion section and doesn't come with a "for Catholics only" warning, I see no reason not to mention this point openly.

I'm happy for priests and others who enjoy remaining virgins for their entire lives. If that's what makes you happy, that's great. I certainly agree that it's generally better for people to remain celibate until marriage, to remain sexually faithful in marriage, and to remain married to the same partner until death. High rates of deviation from any of these practices is a bad sign for a society.

However, people lose their credibility with me when they try to promote celibacy and virginity as things to be celebrated. I've had more of each than most people will ever know, and I've grown thoroughly tired of them. I can't argue against choosing them as the least of evils, but I can't honestly promote them as positive goods. Human beings are made to be sexual beings. Going without sex is unhealthy for us. The church needs to teach this truth and help move people into healthy marriages where they can enjoy sex.

Bill

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Human beings are made to be sexual beings. Going without sex is unhealthy for us. The church needs to teach this truth and help move people into healthy marriages where they can enjoy sex.

Biblical figures disagree with your interpretation, namely St. Paul.

Sorry to disappoint you but Mary had no other children. She was a consecrated virgin before her arranged custodial type marriage to Joseph. The brothers and sisters you read about are named in other places as children of other mothers and fathers, so they are likely extended family of Jesus. If he had actual siblings he would have entrusted Mary's care to them at the foot of His cross (per Jewish custom) instead of to the apostle John.

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Television has become unwatchable.

[Tax-chick]

Good article. (I can't restrain a giggle, though, when reading articles about chastity by writers with S.T.D. after their names :-). Yes, I know what it means, but still ...)

[dsc]

" I've had more of each than most people will ever know"

There's a world of difference between unwanted and involuntary celibacy on the one hand, and celibacy willingly offered to God on the other.

I agree with you that the Church should move people toward marriage, except where they have voluntarily accepted celibacy as a religious vow. Celibacy is for the few, not the many, and if you're not called to it, then marriage is the alternative of choice.

[Calpernia]

ping

[ArrogantBustard]

Some of us remember when that was called "VD".

In the 1980s, in Virginia, the car license tags issues to dealerships had license numbers of the form "0000 VD".

I thought it was funny.

[Tax-chick]

It is funny :-).

[little jeremiah]

Moral Absolutes Ping.

(Note: I lost most of the names on this pinglist; anyone wanting on/off/or back on this list, ping me!)

A Catholic and catholic viewpoint about human sexuality, marriage, and love. If someone doesn't agree with the eternal virginity of Mother Mary, don't fret about it. Read the significance of everything else he says.

It is very telling that people are downright afraid to say that sex outside of marriage is just wrong. Wrong before, wrong to a person other than one's spouse. Just plain, old wrong. In fact, according to the "standards" of moral relativists, the real "wrong" is to say that anything is wrong.
?

IOW, moral relativity is just as absolutist. Each mind is its own absolute standard. As long as the standard is no standards... there is no philosophy as inconsistent, illogical and hypocritical as moral relativism.

The mind is a baaaad master. Even if someone serves the desires of the mind faithfully, they are only more miserable than before.

[little jeremiah]

Celibacy as a sacrifice offered to God is a tradition which is very ancient. A person can be happily celibate by developing a strong relationship with God, which satisfies the deepest longings of the soul. When that happens, the needs and desires of the body become insignificant. This is a rare thing, but it is actually a natural state.

The more a person's heart is gnawed up by cravings for the things of the world, the unhappier he is. It is possible to take care of the physical needs simply and be dedicated to God, and that is the goal of all religion, from what I've seen.

[Tax-chick]

It is very telling that people are downright afraid to say that sex outside of marriage is just wrong. Wrong before, wrong to a person other than one's spouse. Just plain, old wrong. In fact, according to the "standards" of moral relativists, the real "wrong" is to say that anything is wrong.

Worth repeating.

[Campion]

Going without sex is unhealthy for us. The church needs to teach this truth and help move people into healthy marriages where they can enjoy sex.

I don't have a problem with healthy marriages where the spouses enjoy their physical intimacy, but I have no idea what you mean when you say "going without sex is unhealthy for us". What, exactly, are the grave health risks associated with abstinence? How many people do you know who have died from not "getting any"? Any serious chastity-related illnesses?

I thought not. The worst problem (other than temptation) I've noticed associated with abstinence is occasional insomnia, but I have a tape of some of John Kerry's campaign speeches to help with that problem.

[Tax-chick]

I have a tape of some of John Kerry's campaign speeches to help ...

Now THAT'S mortification!

But you make an excellent point. There is a strand of thinking that says any abstinence from the goods of the world is dangerous, and even morally wrong. "Sex is good - the Bible says so - therefore it's wrong to not do it!" Funny though, that although I hear this reasoning from some fundamentalist Protestants, they never say, "Wine is good - the Bible says so - therefore it's wrong to not drink it!"

[Coleus]

Good article. (I can't restrain a giggle, though, when reading articles about chastity by writers with S.T.D. after their names :-). Yes, I know what it means, but still ...) >>>

Yea, I had the same idea, I once told a priest that those initials mean something else when one is in a health education class or health clinic.

STD
http://www.ewtn.com/library/PROLENC/APPENDD.HTM

[Coleus]

Because this thread isn't in the religion section and doesn't come with a "for Catholics only" warning, I see no reason not to mention this point openly. >>>

This thread is in the Free Republic Religion Section and is not on news/activism. Just take a look at the thread in your browser and you will see the word "religion" in the column.

If you look in the "Topic" section you will see the first word listed is "Catholic"

I am not aware of any area where one puts "for Catholics only" in a thread. Where would one put it?

We are all aware of the scripture passage where it mentions brothers and sisters.

The Catholic Church is very pro marriage, pro life & procreation and pro sex with your spouse.

[conservonator]

Of course, not everyone agrees on this "fact." Outside the Roman Catholic church, people tend to take the straightforward interpretation of Bible verses speaking of Jesus's brothers and sisters as biological brothers and sisters (technically, half-brothers and half-sisters). Because this thread isn't in the religion section and doesn't come with a "for Catholics only" warning, I see no reason not to mention this point openly.

Have the Orthodox been informed that they now believe in the modern Protestant notion of Mary's "other children"?

[WFTR]

You've stated the Roman Catholic position, and even some Protestants probably believe it. It's your right to believe it and to state it. I disagree completely with that statement.