Posted on 07/21/2004 3:37:21 PM PDT by AAABEST
A little over a month ago my dad was diagnosed with inoperable cancer in his left lung. The plan was to go through chemo to try and bring it under control. He has since undergone one round of chemo.
The other day he took a turn for the worse and had to be rushed to the hospital, he was very pale and had to be rushed to the hospital because of shortness of breath.
He now is unconscious and on life support. In addition to having double pneumonia he has several blood clots, one of which is lodged in his lung. The cancer turned out to have spread to his liver and I believe his heart (according to my aunt). He can not breath on his own right now.
This all happened very suddenly, I just talked to him on a few days ago.
Anyway my aunt (his sister who is actually closer to him than I) called me last night to let me know what was going on and said that there was no hope she was opting for taking him off the respirator. I'm not aware of all of the legalities, medical intricacies etc. I told her that as long as things followed the teachings of the church, I would trust any decision she makes. IOW no removing of food and water, last rites etc.
Today I get out of a meeting and have a message from her and the doctor to call them. I call her she has him call me back. It turns out this is MY decision to make, even though I'm not there. I asked the doctor if there is any hope that he could regain consciousness, he tells me that he's not God and that the chances are slim but there is a remote possibility. One of the reasons for his lack of conciousness is all of the drugs they have to administer to manage pain and keep his heart going.
At that point I told him that this simply was not my decision to make. As long as there is a chance that my dad could become conscious and make these moral (and legal) decisions on his own with his own life, I couldn't possibly give this "OK" that they want.
It's not that I don't want to, it's that I simply can't.
In any case his cancer is inoperable and incurable and the doctor said that he's never seen anyone in this condition live more than a few months regardless.
Also, I'm all the way down here in Southwest Florida and he has 2 sisters visiting there from out of state and others that his condition would cause a hardship for. I'm leaving Fri night or Saturday and will only be able to stay in Atlanta until Mon or Tues.
I know I could never give permission to take him off life support if there is a chance he could come out of this, even if only for a short time.
If anyone has any advice or input I would appreciate it. If you want to post prayers that's fine, but I know that nearly all of the blessed people here will be praying for him without my asking whether they are post their prayers or not. It's just the way you are.
His name is Walter.
God decided it was time, and you rightly went along. He is with the Lord. Prayers for peace in your heart.
My prayer goes up for your father, the rest of your family, and especially for you. I was in a similar position in 1986, and I'd have rather been blindfolded in a minefield. The Lord is good -- listen hard for what He says, and follow Him.
May God bless his soul.
You did the right thing. God Bless.
Thanks for letting us know. My prayers for your Dad and fthe family continue.
Matt 18:20
Our sincerest condolences in your loss (((AAABest)))
Please know that you will remain in prayer as you heal from void created in your life. May God wrap His arms of comfort around you. May you find relief from your grief in the realization that your Dad is with our Lord and Savior, free from pain and waiting patiently to be reunited with his family once again for all of eternity.
dansangel and .45MAN
How wonderful that you could bring such comfort to your father in his suffering. He knows his son knows and loves His Father, and is will be with Him, always.
Prayers.
Sometimes life throws us the unexpected. YOur father was well loved and had his family near, what a gift.
You have mail
It's always difficult to let go of someone your love....Know we care....and take care.....If you need a place to get away stop by at Hoosiermama's
Oh, I am sorry to hear this, AAA. I'll be praying for you.
I wish I had something to offer you that would make a difference but it sounds to me like you have your head on straight as far as this issue goes. Be encouraged and go with God and we are praying for you and your father.
They're afraid of being sued by the John Edwardses of this world.
I had a DNR for my mother (who was simply very, very old - she was 99 when she died) and I was out of town when she was taken into the hospital from the medical facility where she lived because her heart was failing. Even with the DNR, they insisted on intubating and reviving her. Intubating is a painful process, she didn't know what was going on, and she was terrified and in pain. She had a massive heart attack, and then they called to ask me what they should do - seek to revive her, or just give her painkillers and let the inevitable happen. I told them the latter, having to repeat it numerous times for the hospital's legal staff to record it. And then 20 minutes later they called to tell me she was dead.
What was the point of the DNR if they were going to ignore it?
Prayers for you, AAABEST, and for your family and your dad.
If it means anything, I think you did the right thing.
It'll be great if we get to Heaven and see our loved ones again, won't it?
It was Gods time.
I will pray for your family as you go through the rituals of goodbyes
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