You have been officially snubbed by the swarm (regurgitatus calvinexit getus outahereamus)

Where does this stuff come from? | 11Dec03 | ZinsMeister

[xzins]

There are other clubs that would probably reject me, so I shouldn't feel hurt:

1. Hillary Clinton Fan Club
2. Bill Clinton Kneepad Society
3. All religions that start with the early letters in the alphabet.
4. I got kicked out of glee club in the 8th grade
5. My mom & dad didn't invite me to their wedding

Therefore, this rejection by calvinists is difficult, but my experience with past rejection has made for a "soft landing."

If you've been regurgitatus calvinexit, please take a post to tell your story. The regurgitatus sensitivity group will meet at FR's rostafarian smokers lounge.

Xzins

[Revelation 911]

Conversely, the arminians seem more concerned with "numbers" than with doctrinal definitions and issues

Alex - put the torch down and back away from the pyre d'heretic

We believe in the same Christ/Trinity as you and merely quibble over semantics

[xzins]

Alex is seeking a serious conversation among folks who are today in a light-hearted mood.

As are the other pingsters I sent this to.

It's Bud time guys. Loosen the tie, kick back, take a load off.

[P-Marlowe]

Have you submitted your application? First you must utter a Calvinistically defined heresy on the other thread and be excommunicated, then you may freely post your sob story here.

BTW the evangelical free "method" is to present the gospel to as many people as you can and then watch the Holy Spirit do His work. "And THE LORD added daily to the church..." If your Church isn't growing daily, then maybe its time to change your "method". :-)

Now if you will please utter your Calvinist heresy for consideration.

Thanks.

Marlowe

[Revelation 911]

This should suffice for inclusion into the regurgitatus

_____________

B.T. Roberts (founder of Free Methodism)

Holiness IV. -- HOW IT MAY BE ATTAINED

If it is by the power of God that we are sanctified, then why are not all, and especially all professing Christians, holy? Because they do not meet the conditions. These are:

1. Giving one's self fully to God. All of time, talent, property, reputation influence, yea life itself, must be handed over to God to be His for ever.

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service." -- Rom. 12:1.

The body includes all. A living sacrifice is a constant, perpetual one.

"For I am the Lord your God; ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy: for I am holy." -- Lev. 11:44.

That is, set yourselves apart for God's service, and he will make you holy.

"For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall save it." -- Matt. 16:25.

2. Confession of all sin actual or inbred.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." -- I John 1:9.

If we confess our actual sins he is faithful and just to forgive us. If we confess our inbred sins he is faithful and just to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

3. Faith in Christ as our sanctifier.

"God put no difference between us and them, purifying their hearts by faith." -- Acts 15:9. "That they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me." -- Acts 26:18.

But beware that your so-called faith is not presumption. Otherwise you may become a self-conceited Pharisee, instead of a humble, meek, holy follower of Jesus.

"How can ye believe which receive honor one of another, and seek not the honor that cometh from God only." -- John 5:44.

In both these passages faith is spoken of as the medium through which sanctification is received.

Reader, what do you think of these passages of Scripture that we have brought before you? Do they not show you the necessity and the attainability of holiness? Do you live in this state of grace? If so, thank God, and press forward. If not, make no delay to obtain it. You have too much at stake to live without it a single day. Resolve that you will be holy. Ask God to search you. If, in the light of the Spirit, you see, as is often the case, that you are not justified, have the courage and honesty to confess your condition. If in a backslidden state you seek for holiness, you will, in all probability, take up with something short of reality.

Be thorough! Confess as fully as the word and the Spirit of God direct. Give yourself up without the least reserve to obey the Lord in everything. Look to Jesus as your present Saviour from all sin. Plead His promises. Rely upon His grace to save you to the uttermost. Thus you shall soon feel the sanctifying power the Spirit of God all through soul and body. You will then, in your daily life, have your fruit unto holiness; and the witness of the Spirit will be given, to assure you of your present gracious state, and to give you a pledge of untold glories to be enjoyed in the world to come.

"Now we have received, not the Spirit of the world, but the Spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God." -- I Cor. 2:12

[Revelation 911]

It's Bud time guys. Loosen the tie, kick back, take a load off.

You'll understand if I enjoy a lemonade -

........it's a legalism thingie

[P-Marlowe]

Ask me about the 12-Step Program for Recovering Calvinists

It's actually a 5 step program. You take 5 steps backwards and one giant leap forward.

[xzins]

*****First you must utter a Calvinistically defined heresy on the other thread and be excommunicated, then you may freely post your sob story here. *******

This is neat....we've got a Thread Cop!

To the list - I nominate PM as Thread Cop.

[xzins]

It's not a sob story, but it is definitely going to be rejected over on the other side.

I think it will suffice.

Did they abuse you over there when you posted this for their perusal? And if you didn't yet, then you should.

[xzins]

Legalisms regarding the imbibing of imbibables is permitted on the regurgitatus thread.

So are non-legalisms.

[Gamecock]

***Calvinist denominations are losing ground. :-)***

As thread pope you should be more careful with you assertations. Once again you are as wrong as two left shoes:


But then on second thought, maybe that's why Calvinists consider members of this thread heretics....



In rebuttal I submit The PCA
Members:
1998: 289,906
2002: 311,817

Churches:
1998: 1184
2002: 1248


And guess where we are getting members from? New believers and those Christians who are tired of "Blonde Theology."

One should be careful making blanket claims..

(BTW, pretenders such as the PCUSA are not Calvinist)

[connectthedots]

Nice to be made a charter member without having to make an application. I can only assume my inclusion is based on a life-time achievement award.

Not a Hybels fan myself, but your suggestion presents quite a quandry for the swarm.

Nice to see our club is a bit more exclusive than those Servetus murdering apologists.

[xzins]

We would appreciate a "sob story" of how you were rejected by the calvinistas.

This is designed to be less than a weighty, reflective thread. Silliness is permitted...(even desired.)

[connectthedots]

I think the straw that broke the camel's back was when I asked the swarm, if they really believed in predestination as to all events, why they refused to accept that God chose me before the beginning of time in His sovereignty, to be his witness to the heretic that would pervert the fre offer of salvation to all men by those evildoers who would call themselves Calvinists.

How dare they reject the messenger predestined before the beginning of time to call Calvinists to repentance of their of a mere man, John Calvin; a man who certainly never did fully comprehend the full love of God and God's desire that his chosen people enjoy an abundant, joyful, and fun life. It was not me that they rejected; it was God himself whom they spurned because their hearts were hardened. They have eyes, yet refuse to see; and they have ears, yet refuse to listen.

Can I be named the "Living Prophet" of the true believers of Christ, or do we have to name a Council of 12 first?

[connectthedots]

Insert 'idolotry' after 'their' in the first sentence of the second paragraph.

[A.J.Armitage]

3. All religions that start with the early letters in the alphabet.

Isn't C an early letter in the alphabet?

[Revelation 911]

BTW, pretenders such as the PCUSA are not Calvinist)

sorry - they grow from the same tree

If we get grant swank - you get them LOL

[Revelation 911]

You take 5 steps backwards and one giant leap forward.

bwahahahaha

.....whahahaha

[xzins]

Should have said "denominations" shouldn't I?

:>)

[P-Marlowe]

As official Thread Cop, I feel that you are definitely eligible for membership in the reguritatus, however, in the spirit in which the regurgitatus has been formed, I believe that your attuitude of contention may be misplaced here on this lighthearted thread.

However, since you have made application for election to the Knights of the Regurgiti, and that election here is not based upon any pre-condition under the control of the Council of the Regurgiti, but soley upon the unconditional rejection of those on the Exurge, Calvinisti, et judica causam tuam excommunication council, you are welcome into the Kingdom of Reguritatus and hereby Dubbed Sir CTD with all rights, priviledges and honors pertaining thereto.

With that you may take your sword to another thread and slash away. We shall have no bloodshed before the Council or the Knights of the Time Table.

If you would like, you may apply for the position of Lord High Executioner. Should you accept the position you will be given a token flame thrower and a genuine pair of Hugo Grotius® Asbestos Underwear.

[P-Marlowe]

Isn't C an early letter in the alphabet?

In Greek the word you are obviously thinking of starts with an "X".