Posted on 09/23/2003 6:48:59 PM PDT by carlo3b
~Saying good bye~
Dealing with loss, and surviving...
Learning to live with death, divorce, absence, separation, and change. Escaping uncertainty, fear, loneliness, bitterness, emptiness, anger or hate.
Grief, and how to cope, is far too difficult a topic to stumble upon with simple words. No one, least of all me, could possibly understand the full range of pain, or the depth of emotion each of us feel at that dreadful moment when we experience a real loss. Dealing with the loss after all, is a vital first step on the long journey to healing. Each of us must confront this necessary and painful process to discover our own way to continue.
Accepting the loss of someone or something is the first step to healing, hope, and future happiness.
With any loss or life altering change, we must accept our emotions. We have to allow ourselves to face the inevitable truth, a sorrowful fact that something dear to us has ended, or someone we love has departed, and nothing will ever be the exactly the same again. That is the hardest part, taking the first difficult step, is facing the facts.
We must develop an understanding with the new reality. We have to accept the truth, and with the truth we can prepare to begin again.. We must start over. There has to be a time to grieve, and a time to mourn. Fear of change is the hardest part, but it is a beginning, and we must begin again."Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed."Grieving, is our tribute to true love.
-Michael PritchardFinding a way to say good bye doesn't mean that we have to learn to forget. Our loved one will never be forgotten, nor must we rush to resolve what the loss has meant. Love lasts forever. Falling in love takes time, and it grows. Slowly, and carefully we allow ourselves to fall deeply in love and finally, with passions and emotions aside, we discover the warmth and gentleness of enduring and everlasting love.
True love will be in your heart forever, but pain of loss doesn't have to. What we must learn is to survive the emptiness, the absence, the silence... We need to to learn to live on with the memories of better times, and find our peace in our everlasting love..
Our loved one may have departed this life. They have not abandoned us, they remain in our pleasant memories. But, they have advanced us into a better place.. in eternity there is no pain, there is a place were they are at peace. We will meet again.. in that peaceful place."We cannot change anything until we accept it."Mourning is forever, there is no real ending point, no time limit. It requires work, and time. It does get better. It does become livable. But the experience of a profound loss, changes us in profound ways. Love held you together in life, and it will hold you together after things change. Little things remembered will trigger moments of sadness, but it will also bring back a warm memory of a happier times. We have to give balance to those strong but competing forces. Strolling down memory lane can bring a tear, but it will remind us of that deep and abiding love that only a very few ever experience. How fortunate you really are, to have lived in the rarefied air of true love...
-C. G. Jung, Psychological Reflections"If you have loved once, you can and will again.. Only a true lover can find love in all it's hiding places"Mourning, and missing are a natural and personal process that only you can set in motion. It cannot be rushed and it cannot happen without your participation. But eventually, and strangely, everything begins to come together, pieces fit and are found that seemed to be forever missing. One day, without notice a soft light begins to emerge and a whisper of life sprouts.. life will return, and you will find peace..
-C J Morelli"People only see what they are prepared to see."Regret, is the longest and loneliness road to heartbreak, bitterness and defeat.
-Ralph Waldo EmersonOne of the most difficult experiences one can confront, is that of a sudden loss. The one that didn't have to be. Someone taken, at once.. and forever. No one is prepared for that. All we can to do to protect ourselves against those unavoidable but tragic happenings, prayers help, but actions are better.
Everyone has to protect themselves against the potential, maybe even the probable, or is it, the eventual... LOVE my FReeper FRiends, love is what is important, showing and accepting love today, NOW, will save the agony of regret tomorrow... and forever..
However, the loss that arrives unnoticed, and sleeps in your bed, and eats at your table, the one that avoids confrontation, and says nothing much at all. I speak of the cruel loss of omission.. Allowing a love to die slowly, malnourished.. loss that comes from the pain of neglect.... Love today as if there will be no tomorrow...
Living with loss is difficult enough without having regret. Most of us take life and living for granted, and why not, what could change.....I love you...
By Chef Carlo J. Morelli, Falling Leaves from the Diary of a Single dad
Oh no my dear friend, love is always worth it's pain. I believe to the bottom of my soul, that there is a scale that we live by, easily tilting either way. I never complain about the sunshine brought by love, so if it rains, I try to remember better times, and wait for the clouds to pass.
Artichoke and Bacon Frittata
Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
1) In a skillet, sauté onion in butter until transparent; add artichokes and liquid from one jar. Heat for 2 minutes.
2) In a bowl, lightly beat eggs; add cheese, bread crumbs, artichoke mixture, and bacon.
3) Mix together and place in a greased 9-inch quiche pan. Back for 25 minutes, until set.
4) Sprinkle frittata with jack cheese, if desired, and bake for 5 more minutes.
Note: All can be done the night before; keep the egg and artichoke mixture separate. Add together in morning and bake.
Serves: 8
:<)
In memory of all those who perished this morning; the passengers and the pilots on the United Air and AA flights, the workers in the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and all the innocent bystanders.. Our prayers go out to the friends and families of the deceased.
IF I KNEW
If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never! comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER (By ERMA BOMBECK) |
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded. I would have eaten the popcorn in the "GOOD" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up! on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life. I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I wasn't there for the day. I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment realizing that the wonderment growing inside me was! The only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's" and more "I'm sorry's" but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute.....look at it and really see it ... live it. And never give it back. |
WHEN I AM AN OLD WOMAN
I WILL WEAR PURPLE.....
....with a red hat which doesn't go & doesn't suit me
and I shall spend my pension on brandy & gloves
and satin sandals & say we've no money for butter
I shall sit down on the pavement when i'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops & press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
and make up for the sobriety of my youth
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples gardens
And learn to spitYou can wear terrible shirts & grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausage at a go
Or only bread and pickles for a week
And hoard pens & pencils & things in boxes
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent & not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children
We will have friends to dinner & read the papers
But maybe I ought to practice a little now
So people who know me are not shocked & surprised
When suddenly I am old and start to wear
PURPLE
She said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed good-bye and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked. "I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral," he said. "When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?" He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying! to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory. "I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. He then began to sob and walked away. They say, "It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them." My friends and loved ones, I wish you ENOUGH!!!!> |
I know that this may seem stupid, and not at the same level for those who have lost a love through death, but I am really grieving the loss of my one true love through my own failings. I want Brandi back so badly. I know that I will not move on as any relationship after this point is going to be "second best" to me, but I really need help dealing with this change. I could use some help from any and all of you in getting through this. The feelings of regret and sadness fill my heart and I haven't been able to eat in days. I want to get through this for me and for her, but it is really difficult. In the process of panicking while it was falling apart I alienated every friend I had, pretty much, so here I sit alone and down. I want Bran to find happiness whether it is with me or not, but I am really feeling dead here, and could use some help. I tried turning to God to help, but found no relief there. You can email me at Garysnewaddy@hotmail.com. Please, no talk of finding someone else, and no offers of relationship from other ladies. I truly have no interest in that, and it wouldn't be fair to me or the other person because I would always know that I was with someone other than who I want to be with.
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